Wings of the Death Flight
by Fiery Wordess
Summary: Continuation of Fly Anew: Favian Fynn
1. Torn

 _     Wings of the Death Flight_

"Hogsmeade, are you excited?"  Ginny asked.

"I dunno."  I admitted.  "I guess."  I was thinking more about Harry's first teaching experience.  

"I'm going with my boyfriend.  We're going to Harry's thing."

"Yeah, me too."

"Have a boy to go with?"

"No."  I grinned.  I kept opening and closing the book I had taken from the library.  Aviata.  I wanted to know what I was.  Finally I put it away and came back down to the common room.

"Are you going to Hogsmeade?"  Dean Thomas asked, coming over to where I stood.

"Yes."  I said.  "McGonagall gave me permission."

"Um, do… do you wanna go with me?"

I was surprised.  I mouthed wordlessly for a second before saying: "Yes."  

He grinned.  "Okay.  Are you going to see Harry at the Hog's Head?"

"Yes."

He looked so ecstatic that I almost laughed.  

"I, um, I guess I'll see you there."

"Right, it'll be fun."  I was blushing so badly.  

"You've got someone to go with now."  Ginny said, sitting with me by the fire.  

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I knew Dean wanted to go with you."

"Oh."

"He's a sexy lad."  Ginny noted nonchalantly. 

"Indeed."

"What was that book that you kept pulling out today?"

"Something I picked up from the library."

"Thank you for stating the obvious."

"It's called Strange and Dangerous Phenomena; I'm reading it for Transfiguration."  I lied. 

"Hm."  

"I should probably finish that chapter."  I stood before she could ask more.  That night I wandered back outside, despite the bitter cold and read my book next to Jaeger who watched with interest.

"Well, would you like to hear what the Aviata is?"

Jaeger nodded.

"Okay.  'The Aviata is a witch who is muggle-born and from North America where the re'em wanders.  Five years prior to her birth, the moon shall shine orange and gold.'  That's weird.  My parents said they got married at night and the moon was shining weird colors.  They thought it was a sign that they were going to live happily ever after."  I smiled sardonically.  "Anyway.  'Also on this date, a sphinx, centaur and re'em shall conjoin into a wand to give the holder the power of flight.  The Aviata is an exceptionally bright witch who will not consider herself beautiful and will only become so once she reaches the Motherland.'  The Motherland?  That must be Europe.  'One of her more dangerous powers is that…'" I stopped reading out loud and covered my mouth.

Jaeger touched my shoulder curiously.

"Oh, that's nice."  I muttered, feeling slightly sick.  "Well, I guess I should tell someone, so I'll tell you."  I grimaced.  "When I lose my virginity, the taker will have extreme power for an entire day, giving them sway over… whatever and everything.  I don't think I'll ever have sex then."

Jaeger's shoulders shook with obvious laughter.

"What?  You find that funny?  Stupid, stone…."  I joked.  "Well, I'll have to really trust whoever the lucky lad is."  Then I realized something.  "Oh my God.  Voldemort wanted me!  For… that!"  I felt as though my heart had stopped.  "Jaeger, I'll see you later, okay?"  I hugged the statue briefly and crawled back inside.  

_"Tom.  Tom.  I'm the Aviata."  _

_"Yes.  I know.  You see why your wand is so special now?"_

_"It's… more than that.  But…it's bad."_

_"Oh?"  Tom asked gently.  "How so?"_

_I explained what I had been so reluctant to read aloud. "Is it true?  I'm terrified."_

_"I don't know if that's true.  But be careful anyway."_

_"I wasn't planning on anything… like that for a few years at least."_

_"Good.  So, anything exciting happening?"_

_"Tomorrow I'm going to Hogsmeade."  I almost added "With Dean Thomas," but somehow felt that would be wrong._

_"If I still were a schoolboy, I would take you there."  He smiled._

_"I would like that."_

_"Are you going with someone?"_

_I blushed.  "Yes."_

_Tom's features didn't harden at all.  "Do you love him?"_

_"No.  I like him a lot but I'm not planning on marrying him or anything."_

_Tom laughed.  "Of course not.  But can I have a kiss?"_

_I smiled.  "Sure."_

_He slipped his arms around my waist and kissed me gently.  It was much better than anything that Montague had tried to molest me with.  I closed my eyes and fell into him.  I held onto the back of his neck and loved everything about him.  He pulled me into him and rubbed my back.  _

_He pulled his lips reluctantly from mine.  "It's almost time for you to get up."_

_I nodded sadly.  "When will you be back?"_

_"I don't know.  Go have fun in Hogsmeade.  I'll try to visit you tomorrow."  I looked into his dark eyes and felt my heart melt knowing that he wasn't real, and if he was, he was probably years and years older and I would never find him…._

"Do I look okay?"  I asked Hermione.  We dressed in muggle clothes.  I was wearing my jeans and a nice orange shirt.  I wore a white coat before going into the cold of outside.  

"You look great, Favian."  Hermione was preoccupied, scribbling some notes into her journal.  "Right, so don't forget to meet us at the Hog's Head."

"How could I?"

"Dunno, just don't."  Hermione put her journal back.  "I'm going to go and get Harry and Ron."

"Okay.  See you later."  

Dean was waiting for me by the doors.  Filch watched us leave.  

"First time to Hogsmeade, right?"

"Yeah."

"You're going to love it."  He said.  "There's a lot to do."

I grinned.  "That should be fun."  We came to a shop-filled street that was crowded with both students and adults.  "Ooh, it's like a mall."

"Yeah."  Dean agreed.  "When we go to the Hog's Head, you have to try a butterbeer.  They're awesome."

"Okay."  I nodded, looking around.  

Dean looked at a loss for words with me, not knowing what to talk about.

"You're muggle-born too, right?"  I asked.

"Yeah."

"What sort of school did you go to before Hogwarts?"

"Not a boarding school, if that's what you wonder.  I was at an all boys academy."

"Did you play a lot of soccer?"

"I love soccer."

"It's a good sport."  I agreed.  At my old school, my friend Julie had a 95% rule about all guy soccer players: they were hot.  The other 5% were not so up there.  I'd say Dean definitely fit with the 95% rule.  "Do you have any dances at Hogwarts?"

"We did last year, but I don't know what's going on this year.  I don't think we will.  That was just for the Triwizard Tournament." 

"Ooh.  Was that fun?"

"Yeah."

"I stopped going to dances in seventh grade.  They always become soap operas."

"Haha.  I guess they could."  He looked down at my hand and I saw his fingers sort of twitch towards mine but he changed his mind partway through.  I decided not to let him and drifted slowly towards him until our fingers touched at which point I took his hand and laced my fingers with his.  He seemed surprised but he was smiling.

Somebody crashed into me.  Then somebody else did too.  It was Fred and George.

"Favian, it's time to go and watch Harry make a fool of himself to our benefit!"  George said happily.  "Now stop fooling around with young Dean and get your sexy ass to the Hog's Head."

I laughed.  Dean and I followed Fred, George and Lee to the Hog's Head.  I was surprised by the picture of a boar's head dripping blood.  That was pleasant.  Neville and Eloise were standing together awkwardly by the door.

Inside it was dingy and kind of creepy.  We were followed by Parvati and her twin, Padma, Lavender, Cho, another girl from Ravenclaw was at her side, Luna (that weird girl,) Katie Bell, Alicia, Angelina, Colin and Dennis Creevy (two stalker-type boys,) Ernie, Justin, Hannah and Stacie, all Hufflepuffs; three Ravenclaw boys, Ginny and her lad were close behind.  

Harry looked horrified from where he sat, loosely holding a bottle in his hand.  

"Hi," said Fred, marching up to the bartender.  "We'd like…" he turned and counted, "Twenty-seven butterbeers."  I pulled out a few Knuts and handed them to the bartender and took my drink with a "thanks."  

Dean and I took a seat over by Harry, Ron and Hermione.  I muttered "hello" and opened by butterbeer, sniffing it carefully.  It turned out to be quite good.  The discussion started with a recap of everything Harry had done with the Dark Arts, and his denial that he was talented.  It wound up with everyone asking him to teach them and in the end we all signed a sheet vowing to keep our silence and to join the group.              

Dean and I left and he showed me the rest of Hogsmeade.  Up by the Shrieking Shack, we ran into Malfoy and his apparent bodyguards.  

"Let's leave."  I muttered.

"A new man already, Fynn?  My, you do move quickly.  Montague will be heartbroken."

"I'm sure he will be.  But if he tries to pull something again he will be nuts-broken."  I said coolly, squeezing Dean's hand.  Dean looked on the verge of pouncing on Malfoy.

"Like last time? Last time you seemed to like it a lot more.  You barely even struggled."  

Crabbe and Goyle guffawed.  They had been the only boys present at my licking that hadn't licked because they were too thick to figure out what was going on.  Stupid Crabbe and Goyle, never leaving Malfoy's side.

"I can't imagine why.  It took a whole spell and four ropes to get that to work."  

"Are you wearing the same lip gloss?  I'm sure Thomas wants a lick."

"You see, Malfoy, if he wanted one he could have one without tying me up."  I said calmly.

"Him and the rest of Gryffindor House."

"That's because Gryffindor boys actually have balls."  I said as though that were the most obvious thing in the world.

Malfoy turned pink.  "Oh Favian Fynn, I guess your last experience with my revenge wasn't enough."

I started pulling Dean away.  "See you later, Malfoy."

"Sorry about that."  I said embarrassedly.  

"It's okay."  Dean shrugged.  "It's not your fault that they stalk you."  He paused.  "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"What were you talking about with the ropes?"

I blushed.  "For my detention I had to dust the Slytherin Common Room."

"They tied you up?"

"Yeah, but they didn't hurt me really."  I shrugged.  It was easier to talk about now.  "Malfoy sat on top of me and licked my face, and so did most of the other boys.  But I showered for a long, long time."

"That's sick."  Dean grimaced.  

"Hah, you're telling me."  

That night I took Dean to my spot on the roof.  I thought that he might like it.  We sat there talking until sunrise then spent a good deal of Sunday sleeping.  I awoke in time to do the rest of my homework and went right back to bed.  On Monday morning I was in a chipper mood because of knowing that I was doing something that would annoy Umbridge even if she didn't know and that Dean was such a good friend.  Maybe even a boyfriend.  

Something on the notice-board dampened my mood.

"That old toad."  I muttered.  

"What?"  Dean came up yawning beside me.

"Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four.  We have to run our group by her.  It will never happen.  I say we stick to secrecy."

Harry informed me that we were still doing it.  And damn, did that make me happy

*

All I know is that I've never seen Gryffindors in such a mood.  The team wasn't allowed to play yet, but Slytherin was.  Fred and George made the most of their free time by advertising their products.  Harry, Ron and Hermione told me that Sirius would be coming that night.  I considered asking him if he knew anything about the Aviata.  I decided not to.  I would wait until I saw him that summer.  I didn't really want to discuss my findings with Ron, Harry and Hermione just yet.  I told them that I was wiped out and to send my regards to Sirius.  

I lay awake in bed for a very long time, unable to sleep.  I wanted to go to my part of the roof but didn't want the others to see me.  Finally, sleep consumed me.

_"Favian, it's been awhile."_

_"Yeah.  What have you been up to?"_

_"Loads."  Tom smiled.  "How was your first time in Hogsmeade?"_

_"Lovely.  We're forming a Defense League.  Harry's going to teach us."_

_"Ooh, that should be fun."  Tom said indifferently._

_"Yes."  I paused.  "Do you know Harry somehow?"_

_Tom smiled.  "Why, yes I do."_

_I felt my stomach clench.  "Is your name Tom Riddle?"  Then I remembered something that Hermione had said over the summer.  "Tom Marvolo Riddle?"_

_"No.  It's Tom Harvey Riddle."_

_I sighed in relief._

_"Why?"_

_"No reason."_

_"Okay.  Can I have another kiss Favian?"_

_I felt my face grow hot.  In truth, I had hoped he would want to.  So we did._

"Favian."  Hermione shook me awake.  It was the dead of night.  "Listen."  She told me that Sirius had needed to leave because Umbridge knew he was there!

"Oh my God."  

"And Sirius mentioned something funny about… I dunno.  He said Voldemort was looking for something called the Aviata.  I was wondering if you'd help me look that up."

"No need."  I looked down.

"What do you mean?"

"I am the Aviata."  I sighed.  "I looked that up ages ago."

"What?  How do you know?"

"If you look it up, you'll learn that my wand was indeed created five days before I was born and blah, blah, blah."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because, it's embarrassing."

"How so?"

I explained the embarrassing bit to her quietly.

"Oh."  Hermione flushed in the dark.  "How did you know to look that up?"

"Tom, from my dreams, told me that I was special and told me which books to look in."

"Tom Riddle?"  Hermione asked suddenly.

"Yes, but his middle name is Harvey, not Marvolo."  

"To Hell it is!  Does he have dark hair and dark eyes?"

"Yes, but come on.  There could be tons of Tom Riddles out there!"

"Only three; and two are dead.  Voldemort's brother and father.  Voldemort is still alive."

"I thought you said that Harry destroyed Tom Riddle."

"No, he only destroyed the diary-preserved Riddle."

I felt my face become ashen.  I had just been kissing Voldemort.  "Hermione!  I've been seeing him almost every night in my dreams!"

"Come on; let's go to the Common Room."  She said, looking around at the sleeping figures of Parvati, Lavender, and Eloise.  We crept down the stairs and plopped onto the sofa.  "What exactly has happened in your dreams with him?"

"I've told him almost everything that's been going on in my life.  And," I looked down, "we've started kissing.  That's only the third time.  Tonight was."

"Favian, you've got to stop talking to him."

"How?  And are you _sure _that it's Voldemort?  Tom Harvey Riddle?"

"Come on, Favian.  Don't be so dense.  Do you think he'd want you to know that he was Voldemort since you're chums with Harry?"

I lie down on the couch and covered my face with my hands.  "Why do I always kiss the LOSERS?"  

Hermione couldn't help laughing for a moment.  "Don't be down on yourself.  Tom is quite charismatic, supposedly."

"What do I do now?"

"Stop talking to him."

"I have no control over when he comes.  None!  And what's worse is that I can feel everything he does.  He could seriously injure me.  I still feel him after I wake up.  If he beats me or something, I'll have bruises in the morning."

"You don't know that."  Hermione said without confidence.

"No, but I _feel _it."  I shivered.  "And I'm terrified."

I went through almost a week without Tom returning to my dreams.  In that time Harry had managed to find a room for our Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons.  

"Dobby found it."  He explained to me as I walked in.  "It's called the Room of Requirement."  Dean and I buddied up with Seamus as well for practicing the disarming charm.  We had taken the name Dumbledore's Army, even though it was originally the Defense Association.  I liked Dumbledore's Army better.  It made the group glow with pride.

Hermione was talking to Harry briefly and motioned to me.  She had told him.  I had said it was all right awhile ago, because he'd had so many experiences.

"What do you mean she was kissing Voldemort?"  He muttered.  The room went silent.

_Classy, Harry._

"It's not like that.  Harry, just wait…."

"Who was kissing You-Know-Who?"  Ernie MacMillan asked.

"No one."  Hermione, Harry and I chimed.  

"I think we can be done for now.  That was really good.  But we've overrun.  So we want to meet again next week?  Same time, same place?"

"Sooner!"  Dean called eagerly.

Angelina, however, said quickly, "The Quidditch season's about to start, we need team practices too!"

"Let's say next Wednesday night then," said Harry, "and we can decide on additional meetings then….  Come on, we'd better get going."  Slowly, Harry directed people out of the room based on his Marauder's Map.  Finally, when only the four of us were left, Hermione spoke up.

"That was really, really good, Harry!"

"Yeah it was!"  Ron cried.

"It was great."  I agreed.  "Best Defense lesson I've ever had."  

"Well thank you."  Harry paused.  "What was Hermione talking about?"

"Um.  Well, you know my dream-friend Tom?  He's… Voldemort."  I closed my eyes, not wanting to see Harry's horrified face as I said the next bit.  "And, well, lately he's been kissing me.  So, you know."

"And what's worse, Favian is the Aviata."

"You kissed Voldemort and he needs you?  Great!"  Ron said hysterically. 

I opened my eyes.  "Look, I'm not proud of it."

"What is the Aviata exactly?"  Harry asked.

I explained quickly.  Harry and Ron looked even more horrified.  

"That's what Malfoy was talking about when he said Voldemort needed me or something."  I muttered.  "And I've been kissing Voldemort and every other Slytherin guy."  I covered my face with my hands.  "I really am a slut."

"Don't say that!"  Hermione gasped.  "You didn't know that Riddle was Voldemort and the rest of them… forced you."

"We should tell Dumbledore."  Ron said.

"One of you can, I don't think I can explain the Aviata thing one more time."

"He probably knows what the Aviata is."  Hermione said logically.  "You wouldn't need to explain."

I groaned and fell onto a pillow.

"Look, we'd better go."  Harry said.  "We could get in serious trouble if we're out too late."

I nodded, rose reluctantly, and we left.

Quite a few weeks later, the first Quidditch match was approaching.  Fred and George asked if I would give massages, and, in a fit of team spirit, I agreed.  Each of the team members had a twenty minute back rub in the Common Room.  Alicia Spinnet, who had been hexed, I gave an extra five minutes to because I felt so bad for her.  

Word that I was an excellent masseuse got around and George said that I could make a few Galleons that way.  I said I would consider if I ever needed money.  Malfoy was giving Ron a rough time, and for that I ended up giving Ron even more massages than the rest.  I told him to ignore Malfoy and just laugh at him because that would annoy him.  Ron said that it wasn't that easy.  I begged to differ.

During Potions class, one day, Draco Malfoy came over to me while we were gathering ingredients.  

"I hear you're giving massages to your team, now."  He smirked.

"Yes."  I said calmly, picking up some pomegranate extract.

"Our team wants massages too."

"Too bad you're a bunch of assholes."  I said turning around to walk back to my seat.

"Oh Favian, you know my team gets what it wants."  Malfoy smirked.    

"Everything except for the Quidditch Cup."  I said smoothly.

He stood in front of my desk.  

"You're not a much better view than that complex potion, Malfoy."

"But you are."

"Hey."  Dean called out from behind me.  "Get away from Favian."

Malfoy grinned and sat down, but only because Snape had come back.

"Thanks, Dean."  I mumbled.

Dean and I went onto the roof again that night.  

"Why do the Slytherins pick on you so much?"  Dean finally asked.

"Eh, I'm not entirely sure."  I lied.

"Oh."  Dean leaned against the wall and looked up at the sky.  His knees were bent and his arms rested atop them.  "D'you think they'll get theirs in the end?"

"I don't think so."  I said.  "I know so."

Dean laughed.  "I still can't believe you never had a boyfriend in the States."

I smirked.  "I can.  You didn't know me back there, and it's a whole different world over there."

"Do you like this world better?"

"Overall."  I agreed.  "But I wish I hadn't had to trade it for my parents."

Dean nodded.  "You still miss them, don't you?"

"Always will."  I scooted over closer to him and took his hand.  "But I have some good friends here, so I won't be a Moaning Myrtle."  

Dean watched my hand fixedly while he spoke.  "I never thought you would be."

I leaned my head on his shoulder and gazed at the contrast between our skins.  His was brown and mine vaguely tan.  A cloud passed over the moon in little wisps.  

"Can…."  Dean stopped.

"What?"

"Never mind."  Dean shook his head.

"Go on, you can ask."  I lifted my head and faced him.

"Can I kiss you?"

I felt my stomach jolt.  "Yeah.  I'd like that."  Now that I knew that Tom wasn't someone I would want to marry, I felt fine about actually dating Dean.  He moved hesitantly forward and we kissed.

Dean headed up to his dorm but before I headed upstairs, I noticed Harry sitting quietly by the fire.

"Were you just kissing him?"  Harry asked, voice cracking.

I jumped.  "Yes."

"That's so weird."

"Why?"  I asked, taking a seat.

"I just dreamed that I was watching you on the roof there.  All I remember was feeling really angry and doing everything possible to restrain myself from…" he swallowed, "killing Dean."

I sat back.

"Don't tell anyone."

"I wouldn't."

"I don't know why I-."  Harry trailed off.

"Me neither." 


	2. Fear

"Weasley is our King!  He always let's the Quaffle in!  He cannot save a thing!"  Rang throughout the stadium as Ron let in yet another Quaffle.  Harry and Malfoy raced for the tiny golden ball called a Snitch.  I willed Harry to grab it and "accidentally" whop Malfoy right in his weasel-y face.  

He caught it at least.

WHAM!

Crabbe hit a Bludger at Harry.  Madam Hooch took Crabbe off to the side to yell at him.  

"Talk about a bit of poor sportsmanship."  I muttered to Ginny.

"That was horrible."  She agreed.  "What's going on down there?"  Fred and George had tried to jump on top of Malfoy but were being restrained by their teammates.  But Harry let go and joined George to pummel Malfoy.  

"Uh oh."

"NO!  HARRY!  GEORGE!"  Ginny screamed.  Madam Hooch shot a spell at them and sent them up to the castle.

Ginny and I were walking back from dinner together, pissed as hell that George, Fred and Harry had been banned.  We had heard Montague laughing about it.  All Crabbe had to do was lines.  

"Wait, I need to get something from the library."  Ginny said.

"Oh, okay."  I followed her.  

"I'll be right out."  She ran into the library.  I leaned against the wall, fuming inwardly at Gryffindor's sour luck.  

"Pouting, Fynn?"  Before I could even turn around, I had been grabbed by the arms and pinned to the wall.  Montague, Warrington and Pucey were all grinning, even as I tried to kick them in unmentionable places.   

"Ass wipes."  I muttered.  

"Malfoy said you promised us massages."

"I did no such thing."

"Malfoy said you did."  They all grinned stupidly.

"He also said that you promised to dance around in ballerina outfits, but I didn't see you do that.  I guess Malfoy has a tendency for false words."

"We want to be kissed."  Montague puckered his lips.

"GINNY!"  I screeched.  "HELP ME!"  Montague was so surprised that I took the chance to kick him where I had been aiming for all along.  He doubled over wheezing just as Ginny ran out of the library.  "Never mind."  I said smiling.  But Pucey and Warrington charged me.  Ginny and I both jinxed them at once and they collapsed on the ground.

"To the Common Room!"  Ginny cried.  We ran more quickly than I had ever run in my life.

We collapsed, gasping in a crowd of unhappy Gryffindors.  All of them had been bemoaning their foul luck, not for the first time that term either.  

"This might brighten your spirits," Ginny said hopefully.  The entire room turned to face her, but she was unperturbed.  "Favian and I just kicked Warrington, Pucey, and Montague's butts.  Actually, Favian kicked Montague's nuts quite literally.  The other two got a whiff of hexes."

The room laughed and cheered, but the mood resettled shortly after, resulting in everyone going to bed.  I said goodnight to Harry and Hermione, giving them both brief hugs.  When I asked where Ron was they said that they were unsure and were waiting for him.  I told them to apologize for him that I couldn't wait up.

They said that they understood, but maybe it was because I had bags under my eyes and I slurring more than usual.  Yet I was terrified of sleep.

_"Don't let me fall…."  I was in the usual white room with nothing in it.  It was where I usually met Tom.  "Oh no."  I whispered.  _

_"Why 'oh no?'"  Tom asked from behind me.  He slipped his arms possessively around my waist.  I flinched and drew slowly away, hoping to make it look like I just wanted to see his face.  I barely even looked at his face.  I focused more on a non-existent point above his left shoulder._

_"I… I didn't want to fall asleep.  I have homework that I haven't finished."_

_"But it's only the weekend."_

_"Yeah, there's a lot of it though."_

_"What's wrong?"  Tom asked sharply._

_"Nothing."  _

_"Don't lie to me.  I can see through that.  I've known you for five years."_

_"Your middle name isn't _Harvey___, is it?"_

_"What are you talking about?  Of course it is."  Tom frowned._

_"No.  You're Vo- Voldemort."  I started shaking and drawing slowly back._

_Tom blanched.  "Me?  Vol- Voldemort?"_

_I nodded, but less sure than I had been before.  I had never seen Tom so irresolute._

_"Why would you think that?  Why?"_

_"Because…Harry, Ron and Hermione said that you looked and acted just like Tom Marvolo Riddle." _

_"Tom Riddle isn't an unusual name."_

_"But how many went to Hogwarts?"_

_"Only two, but keep in mind that I went years after Voldemort attended."_

_"Why do you say his name?  Most people are afraid to."_

_"I figured that if you weren't afraid, than I shouldn't be."  Tom shrugged.  "Do you still think that I am capable of murder?"_

_I didn't know about that one.  "No."  But I still felt better.  "No, no.  Of course not."  I ran forward to hug him.  He embraced me and kissed the top of my head.  It felt like he was afraid that I was going to disappear forever._

"Hagrid, I want you to meet Favian."  Hermione had told me that Hagrid was big, but this man was positively enormous.  

"Hi."  I said meekly, staring up into a bruised eye and a veritable bush-beard.

"'Ello, Favian."  His eyes crinkled in a smile.  "Enjoyin' yer first year at Hogwarts?"  

"Yes."  I smiled.  "It's a nice school."  _Except for those bastardly Slytherins_.  I thought.  

"Are yeh considerin' takin' Care o' Magical Creatures?"  He asked.

"I really would like to.  Professor McGonagall says that if I do well enough this year that I can take two extra classes in sixth.  I've heard nothing but good things about you."  I said truthfully.  "Well, except for the Slytherins, but anything they don't like, I like even more."

Hagrid let out a deep, booming laugh.  "Come ter visit more, Favian," he said at the end of our meeting, "I like yeh."  

"Will you try out for Quidditch?  Please?"  Angelina begged me.

"Angelina, I'm not very athletically inclined."  I admitted.  

"Please!  I know that I can stand _you_ and would be willing to spend extra time teaching."

"Okay, all right."  She, Katie, and Alicia took me out to the Quidditch Pitch.  On the way, we passed all of the Prefects on decoration duty.  Ron looked positively pissed as Peeves flew around him blowing raspberries at him.  Hermione was chatting amiably with a Ravenclaw prefect.  

"Do you have a broom?"

"Of course not."  I sighed.

"I wish you could use Harry's."  Katie said.

About thirty Gryffindors were out in the Quidditch Pitch, all fairly confident in their skills.  I felt like a pathetic loser, having seen only one match in my entire life.  

"You're trying out too?"  Ginny ran over to me.  "What are you going for?"

I shrugged.  "You?"

"Seeker."

"Ooh, then I'll go for Beater."  

Ginny laughed.  "You don't need to."

"I was forced to try out.  They threatened to kill me."

"All right everyone, listen up!  We need three new players because… well, ours got kicked off.  So.  Beaters and Seekers only."  Angelina shouted.  "Beaters come this way and Seekers, go with Alicia."

I followed Angelina and Katie.  Katie hung behind to talk to me.

"Seriously?  You?  A Beater?"

"Look, I can hit things really hard if I want to.  And if I imagine the head of any given Slytherin, it will fly."

"All right.  Have it your way."

"No, my way wouldn't involve me trying out at all."  

Katie grinned.  "In that, my friend, you don't have a choice."

"I know."

"Come here!  Make two lines!  You'll take turns swinging at these muggle balls, called baseballs or something."

"Good sport."  I muttered.  The rest of the people trying out for Beater were boys.  I felt oddly out of place.  I stepped behind three others.  

"You're trying out for Beater, Favian?"  A boy stood next to me.  I think his name was Andrew Kirke or something. 

"It would appear so."  I said coolly.

"Awesome."  Grinned the sixth-year boy.  "I've never seen a girl Beater."

"Me neither.  Unless you count that girl I see in the mirror every morning."

The boys receiving the balls swung clumsily at the baseballs and didn't make them go very far.  They had a fair few tries before retreating to the sidelines.  

"Good luck, Fynn."  Andrew called to me.

"And yourself, Mr. Kirke."  I took the stumpy wooden bat.  It was heavy but I enjoyed its murderous potential.  "Muah hahaha."  I laughed evilly as I stepped up to bat.  "Bring it on, Spinnet."  

Alicia grinned and tossed me the ball.

Having played softball when I was younger, I knew how to slam a ball around.  I watched the ball and imagined every Slytherin I had ever met and slugged it so hard that the ball whizzed about a hundred feet and exactly where I wanted it to go.  It hit the goal and made a satisfying ringing noise.

"Score."  I shouted.

Angelina and Alicia stared momentarily.  "Well, you're in."

Ginny made Seeker, Andrew Kirke and I were made Beaters.  I fought not to show my enthusiasm as I entered the D.A. meeting, not wanting to rub it in to Harry, George and Fred.  They were visibly put out as Angelina announced that we were on the team.  

"All right," Harry said quickly, "I think we'll just review since we're all about to leave for the holidays."

"We're not learning anything new?"  A grumpy boy asked.  "If I had known I wouldn't have come."

"Then we're sorry that Potter didn't tell you."  Fred shot out.

That lesson was a lot of fun.  Dean and I took turns blasting Seamus.  We pretty much ganged up on him with random hexes.  Seamus took it light-heartedly and kept trying to get us off guard.  He hit me twice with the disarming charm and Dean would then blast him off of his feet.  I said goodbye to everyone and left with Dean, Seamus, Ginny and her boyfriend.  They spoke merrily of the holidays to come.  I didn't say anything, suspecting that I would be alone in the castle.

It felt like a balloon from somewhere deep inside of me had released air.  Dean and Seamus were going to Seamus' house; Ginny was going back to… her home.  Her boyfriend was going home.  It would be the first Christmas I spent without my parents.  

Hermione and Ron sat with me in the Common Room and we worked on homework.  I finished mine a few moments after Hermione, who took the opportunity to write a rather long letter to a friend of hers in Bulgaria.

"Wonder what Harry's doing?"  Ron blurted for the thousandth time that evening.

"Snogging."  I said.

"Seriously?  Who?  Cho?"

"Ron, who else?"  Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I dunno…."  Ron muttered distractedly.

"Dobby."  I supplemented.

Ron's eyes widened and I burst into laughter, just as Harry tottered in through the door.  

"What's up?"  Ron asked immediately.

Harry didn't say anything.

"Is it Cho?"  Hermione said curtly.  "Did she corner you after the meeting?"

Harry was obviously shocked, but he nodded.  Ron sniggered, breaking off when I slapped his foot.

"So- er- what did she want?"  Ron asked in a mock casual voice.

"She- she- er…."

"Kissed you."  I finished for him

Ron jerked up, knocking his ink bottle all over the carpet.

"Well?"

Harry looked around at us and then nodded.

"HA!"  Ron pumped his fist into the air and laughed manically.  Hermione went back to writing her letter.

"Well?  How was it?"

"Wet."  Harry said, rubbing his mouth on his sleeve.

"The first time?"  I was shocked.  Ron was grinning.

"Because she was crying."  Harry said heavily.

"Are you that bad?"

"Dunno.  Maybe I am."

"Of course you're not."  Hermione said absently, still scribbling away at her letter.

"How do you know?"  Ron asked in a sharp voice.

I laughed.  Hermione explained that Cho spent a lot of time crying and it was all because of Cedric, who had died the previous year.  I rolled my eyes at Harry as Ron and Hermione argued tartly for a few minutes before turning the subject back to Harry.

"Who're you writing the novel to anyway?"  Ron asked Hermione, trying to read the bit of parchment now trailing on the floor.  Hermione hitched it up out of sight.

"Viktor."

"Krum?"  Ron demanded.

"How many other Viktors do we know?"

Ron said nothing, but looked disgruntled.

"One of these days, Ron, you'll just come out and say how you're feeling."  I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing.  I'm going to bed.  'Night."

"Favian," Hermione called after me, "how… how have you dreams been?"

I blushed.  "Fine."  

"Tom hasn't been showing up lately, has he?"

"No."  I lied.  "I'm really tired.  'Night."  I said hurriedly and I rushed up the stairs.

I realized that I wanted to see Tom again and I felt bad that I didn't feel the same attraction towards Dean.  As I lie in bed, I wondered how it would sound to say "I'm in love with a guy from my dreams, I can't date you anymore."  

But I really liked Dean too.  I remembered our first and second kisses.  I loved talking to him and being with him.  I fell asleep with those thoughts and drifted into the arms of sleep.

_"Wait for me.  I must work."_

_"What?"_

_Tom disappeared.  I stood alone in the bizarre white room.  I lie down slowly and saw strange images dancing through my head.  A green snake slithered with two inside of it. One with no power and the other with pure power.  It bit a man that I recognized slightly.  _

_Suddenly there were two snakes and they were different colors.  One was gold and the other was silver.  They both came at me, hissing words, telling me to come to them.  I was so confused.  I tried to fly away, a dove, but couldn't move.  They came so quickly that I barely had time to choose.  I didn't choose because I jolted upright in the white._

_"What were you doing?"  I asked Tom._

_"I had to square some business away.  There was a spell gone… awry."  He smiled._

_"Oh."  I mumbled._

_"Favian, tell me of your day."  He walked over next to me and sat down, conjuring a sofa.  I sat down next to him, surprised at the invisible furniture.  I leaned against the arm-rest and brought my knees up to my chest._

_"Tom, is it wrong for me to like both you and Dean Thomas?"  I asked quietly._

_Tom's face was grim.  "No.  You're still young.  You should see who you like."_

_His answer made me feel worse because of how he said it.  I began to cry quietly and I looked away.  My heart ached ferociously._

_"Favian, don't cry."  He cupped my face in his hands.  "You don't see me often enough to be able to deny other boys.  Don't feel badly.  When the time comes, you will have an easier time with your emotions."_

_I nodded slightly.  It was so hard for me to fathom Tom actually existing sometimes.  He took the back of my head in one hand and held the small of my back in the other.  He lay me down slowly and kissed me tenderly on the mouth.  It felt like he was restraining himself from kissing harder.  I was torn between terror and an equal want._

_He moved his lips over to my cheek and went slowly down my chin to my neck.  My heart pounded very hard as he moved his hands over my body.  I took his hands in my own, mostly to keep them from wandering.  I didn't know if my dreams counted for anything, but if I could feel this, I didn't know what else would happen._

_"Tom, no."  I sat up slowly.  "I know this probably doesn't count, but it feels somehow wrong."_

_Tom nodded.  "I understand.  What if I promised to never go too far?"_

_"I'm not so worried about you going to far as to my ability to say no."  Popped out the singularly most stupid thing to say._

_Tom grinned.  "Don't worry, I wouldn't take advantage."  Before I could argue again, I was back down on the strange cloud furniture, his mouth clamped firmly to mine._

"Favian!"  Hermione shook me awake.  

"What?"  I jolted up, wiping my mouth on my pajama sleeve.  It was still moist, as was my neck.  I couldn't have drooled on my neck.  And I couldn't have given myself a hickey.  

"I thought you said that Tom wasn't in your dreams anymore."

"D'you think that meant he would never come again?"  I asked.

"Well, no, but…."

"How did you know, anyway?"

"You asked him to stop something.  I couldn't figure it all out."

"Was I really loud?"

"No.  I was waiting for you to wake up.  What's that on your neck?"

"I'm… I'm not sure."  I blushed.

"Is it a…."  Her eyes widened.  "When did you have time?"

"Tom."  I said miserably.  "Look, he's not Voldemort."  I said when she began to protest.  

"How do you know?"

"When I accused him of it, he turned all white and was insulted and stuff.  If you had seen it…."

"Favian!"  Hermione cried.  "Do you think he'd _admit _it?!  He knows that you're friends with Harry!  That would be the dumbest thing he could ever admit!  And he knows!"

"Well, now you have physical proof that he could leave behind injuries if he so desired."  I pointed to the love-bite.

Hermione bit her lip.  "Well, that is a little worrisome."

"A _little?_"

"Okay, a lot.  Did you two…?"

"No."  I cut in.

She looked somewhat relieved, but tensed up again immediately.  "We should tell Dumbledore."

"Yeah," I said sarcastically, getting out of bed, "that'd sound great.  'Hey, Professor Dumbledore, this hot boy has been coming into my dreams lately and we've been smooching.  By the way, Hermione, Harry and Ron say he's Voldemort.'"

"Harry and Ron aren't here anymore."  Hermione said quietly.  

"What?"  I jumped, worried that I had done something.  "Why?  What happened?"

"Harry had a dream.  A vision.  He saw a snake attack Ron's dad at the Ministry last night."

I felt a wave of nausea hit me.  My legs buckled and I sat down quickly on the bed.

"What?"  Hermione asked.  "What is it?"

"Before… well, after, actually… Tom came, I had a dream about snakes.  I saw a huge one attack Mr. Weasley."

"There were other snakes?"  Hermione gaped.  

"The other two weren't as realistic.  I mean, they were silver and gold and I was a dove."

"A dove."  Hermione echoed, as though starting a new thought.  "That's the symbol of the Aviata.  A dove being attacked by two snakes, symbolizing good and evil shows the prediction."

"Really?  How d'you know that?"  

"I found it in a book written about seers and their prophecies."  Hermione explained but waved as though it were inconsequential.  "I went to look up more on the Aviata after you told me because I didn't believe that Voldemort would want you to know everything."  Hermione twiddled her fingers.  "But I have to go soon."  I noticed that she was dressed in muggle clothes.  "My parents are taking me on holiday."

"Skiing?"  I asked.

"Yeah."

"Fun."  I actually didn't care for the sport.  I found it disconcerting to be surrounded by crazy people zooming at about twenty miles per hour on snowboards and skis.

"I hope so."

"Hold on, I'll walk you to the entrance."  I noticed that the beds around me were empty.  Parvati and Lavender were going to Parvati's house for Christmas and Eloise was going to France to visit her grandmother.  I dressed quickly to see Hermione off.  As she left to board the train, I hugged her and told her to write.  

It was going to be a dreadfully lonely Christmas.  


	3. Snake

I had no idea how miserable I was going to be until I came back to the Common Room.  All of the Weasley's had left and few of the Gryffindors had stuck around because everyone was eager to visit their families and complain about Umbridge's new regiment.  I was happy to see a Gryffindor that I did know.              _      _

Andrew Kirke, my fellow Beater, was one of the few Gryffindors staying behind.  He was this imposing and muscular boy who looked quiet and serious.  He was actually pretty outspoken and goofy.  He was sitting in the Common Room when I came back, staring out the window at the snow-covered grounds.

"What's up?"  I asked, standing next to him.

"Nothing.  I just wish we'd squeezed in a few practices before the holidays."

"Yeah."  I didn't really care about being on the team and that made me feel bad.  "Want to go practice right now?  We could just slap a ball around a bit."  I grinned.

"Nah, it's too cold and I still haven't eaten lunch."

"Mm, food.  I didn't eat breakfast."

"Let's go eat then."

The tables in the Great Hall were so sparsely inhabited that the room felt empty.  I counted about eight Ravenclaws, five Hufflepuffs, four Gryffindors, including myself, and….

"Eighteen Slytherins?  Why?"  I moaned as Andrew and I took our seats.

"Dunno."  He shrugged.  "It's just in their nature to ruin things, but we'll have a spanky Christmas."  Andrew grinned.

"I'm glad that you're optimistic."  I sat next to a Gryffindor fourth year named Emrys Linn.  He was sitting across from Fay Morgan, a pretty second year who was his cousin.  She had black hair, one green eye and a violet eye.  She wasn't shy but she came across that way at first.  

"Why aren't you going home for Christmas?"  I asked Emrys.

"My parents are in America on business."

"Mine are in Italy.  They went on a little break."  Fay smiled.  "I don't know what they're breaking from."

"Their jobs?"  I guessed.

"That's a thought."  Fay grinned still more widely.  "Except I think my father's been on vacation for a month and Mother owns her own photography branch.  She chooses when she vacations."

"I'm not flocking home because my mum is dating some new man and I don't want to be around while they're snogging."  Andrew explained.

"No one wants to see their parents doing that."  Emrys agreed.

_I would give anything to see my parents again.  Even if they were snogging._

The day dragged on like a dog's itchy bottom across the rug.  I went to the library and read up on some of my homework.  Dull.  Dull.  Dull.  I had nothing to distract me but the ache of loss in my heart.  Christmas vacation and my parents wouldn't spend it with me.

I lie down in bed and remembered my father's stubbly beard and hair, his ridiculous glasses, his hairy knuckles and potbelly that had always been there.  I thought of my mother and her loud and easily discernable laugh, her perfume, her hugs, her auburn hair and blue eyes.  She called our eyes "the happy blues."  I thought of her bizarre fear of flight and how much I had always adored the thought of soaring through the air.  Dad had always said that I would probably die in a sky-diving accident because I had been so obsessed with the idea of sky-diving.  It was a phase I had gone through, but I still wouldn't have minded sky-diving.  Now I had magical flying.

And sleep would bring me away from my thoughts.

"Okay, let's see what we can do."  Andrew tossed a baseball into the air and hit it towards me.  I hit it back to him and it fell before he could try to hit it back.  "Well, that's not working."

"We have to keep trying."  I insisted, my breath becoming a mist before me.  

"Did I mention quitting?"  He hit the ball again and I hit it back until he was able to return it.  We made a game of going as high as we could go.

"Twenty-three," he shouted.

"Twenty-four!"  I called back, hitting it back.

"Twenty-five!"

"Twenty-six- oh crap."  I hit it way off from where I had wanted it to go.  Actually, I hadn't even hit it in the direction it went.  It flew off to my right and I had hit from right to left, so that didn't make sense.  "Sorry about that."

"It wasn't your fault."  Andrew muttered.  "What do you want, Malfoy?"

"Favian and I need to talk."

"No we don't."  I disagreed.  "But I need you to go away.  Accio baseball!"  I summoned the ball back to me.

Crabbe and Goyle flexed their muscles threateningly.  Andrew rolled his eyes and flexed his own.  I noticed Malfoy's cronies eyeing Andrew's muscles and going over whether or not it would be a good idea to challenge him.  

"Fine, Malfoy, what do you need to talk about so badly?"  

"Come here."

"No.  I'll stay back, thanks.  Whatever needs to be said can be said at this distance."

"If you want Kirke to know about your Wings…."

"Okay, I'll come.  Andrew, I'll see you later, okay?"  I gave Andrew a meaningful look.

"Are you sure?"  He eyed Malfoy intensely.

"Yeah, I can handle it.  I'll explain later."

"If you're sure…."

I nodded firmly and Andrew headed up to the castle, our bats in hand.  He looked back a couple of times and finally I turned back to Malfoy.

"Wait here."  Malfoy told Crabbe and Goyle.  They stood there, looking stupid and confused. 

"This has to be shown to me, does it?"

Malfoy didn't respond but started walking, obviously expecting me to follow.  I only followed because I was curious.  

"Are you and Thomas dating?"  He asked bluntly.

"Yes."  I was caught off guard.  I had expected him to ask if I was being a slut as usual.

Malfoy's lip curled slightly.  "The Dark Lord doesn't like that."

"Too bad for him."

"Dean is in danger."  Malfoy said seriously.  "I just thought you'd want to know."

Malfoy, Goyle and Crabbe had left long ago but I still stood frozen in the snow.  My heart was numbed with fear.  I didn't doubt for a minute that Malfoy was telling the truth.  I had to talk to someone.  Tears poured silently down my face, freezing in the wintry air.  

Harry had told me that he had dreamed that he had seen me and Dean kissing the night we had been.  Harry also had a dream that he was a snake that had bitten Mr. Weasley.  Voldemort could see me.  Was Voldemort Harry or did Harry just see through Voldemort's eyes?  I sank to my knees in the snow and pondered this.  I couldn't think straight.  The darkness closed in around me and I fell to the ground and lost consciousness.

_"Hello, Favian."_

_"Am… am I asleep?"_

_"Must be."  Tom said pensively._

_"I wasn't even tired!"_

_"I brought you here."  Tom admitted._

_"I'm outside in the snow!"  I said desperately._

_"You'll be okay, I promise."_

_"Tom!  You can't just make me fall asleep whenever you want to see me!  That could be really, really bad!"  I folded my arms, afraid of the cold around my physical body.  "What if I had been swimming or something?"_

_Tom's face darkened.  At first I thought he was embarrassed but then I realized he was angry at my outburst.  I backed away carefully, remembering what Hermione had said about him being Voldemort._

_"It's… it's not that I'm angry," I continued, "but I'm afraid that… that… that…."_

_"Favian."  Tom said quietly.  "I had to tell you something."_

_"O-oh?"_

_"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be seeing people anymore."_

_"Why?"  _

_"I'm coming for you soon.  I just want you to make a decision."_

_"When is soon?"_

_"Time will tell, Favian.  Within the next year.  Before summer, I assure you."_

_"Are you the silver snake?"  I asked without meaning to._

_He smiled.  "Yes."_

"Ah!"  I sat upright as something licked my face.  

"Yer awake!   Good!  Favian!  Yeh were beginnin' teh worry me!  Get down, Fang!"  Hagrid pulled his massive dog, Fang, off of me.  I was lying on his bed in his hut.  "I brought yeh in when I saw yeh lyin' there in the snow."

"Th-thank you."  I shivered.

"Here, let me get yeh a blanket."  He wrapped a gigantic fur around me.  I felt smothered in its vastness.  "Want some tea?"

I nodded faintly.  "Yes, please."

"I'll have it made in a jiffy."  He stomped around the kitchen.  I got off of the bed, dragging the blanket after me, and sat into a chair, my feet dangling a few inches off the ground.  "Why were yeh outside in the snow?  Sleepin', no less."

"I was about to walk inside, but Tom made me fall asleep."

"Tom?"  Hagrid frowned.

"Tom Riddle."  I didn't know what I was saying.  I was babbling, really.  "The silver snake."

Hagrid nearly dropped the tea mugs he was holding.  He took a breath and seated himself next to me.  He put the full tea mugs on the table.

"Yeh know Tom Riddle?"

"Only in dreams."  

"Favian, that's… You-Know-Who."

"No.  See, this is a different Tom Riddle."

"No, Favian.  Here, let me get a picture for yeh."  Hagrid went into his dresser and fished around until he found an old scrapbook.  "Took loads of pictures in me last year at Hogwarts."  He explained.  "Didn't know it was going teh be me last, but I did this anyway.  After I lost me dear old dad I just was afraid of losin' more, yeh know?"

I nodded, wondering why I had told Hagrid about Tom.

"Let's see."  Hagrid flipped through the pages, laughing occasionally and almost forgetting his task.  "Here.  Here's Tom."  Hagrid turned the photo album upside-down and pointed to a Prefect group-picture.  There was Tom, my Tom, smirking up at me.  He blinked in self-satisfaction.  His arrogance had never showed so much as in this photo.    

"Oh God!"  I slapped a hand to my mouth.  "Oh God!  No!  No!"

Hagrid frowned.  "How long have yeh known Tom?"

"Since I was ten!"  I clutched my face.  Someone knocked on the door.

"Come in!"  Hagrid called.  "Professor Dumbledore!"

"Hello, Hagrid."  Dumbledore smiled warmly.  His blue cap was covered in snow and his boots were frosted.

"Here, let me make yeh a cup."

"That won't be necessary, but thank you Hagrid."

"Oh, yeh won't be stayin' then?"

"No.  I came to get Ms. Fynn."

"Right."  Hagrid nodded.

"Me?"

Dumbledore smiled.  "I don't know any other Ms. Fynns in this cabin."

I blushed.  "Yeah… I guess you're right."  I turned to Hagrid.  "Thanks for letting me stay here."

"No problem, Favian, any time."  Hagrid's eyes crinkled in a smile.  

I left Hagrid's blanket on the chair and left with Professor Dumbledore.  

Once in his office, I took a seat, looking around at the amazing items that filled it.  There were portraits of all the past headmasters and mistresses.  Whirring silver instruments sat on his desk and on bookshelves that were crammed with books.  There were titles with symbols and other languages, titles that were horrible and fascinating.  Every book in there looked as though it had seen wear and tear.  He had read everyone, I was sure.  A magnificent bird with red and gold plumage sat on a perch next to his desk.  It was a phoenix.  It tilted its head at me and blinked slowly.

Dumbledore sat behind his desk and smiled, waiting for my attention to return to him.

I turned back to face him.

"Is there anything you would like to talk to me about?"  Dumbledore asked quietly.

"Yes."  I admitted.  "Yes, yes."  I buried my face in my hands.

"I am listening."

"D'you know what the Aviata is?"  Spilled from my mouth.

Dumbledore nodded solemnly.  "I suppose you do as well?"

"Yeah.  I am."  I swallowed hard.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows.

"And Voldemort knows it."

"How do you know this?"

"Tom Riddle has been visiting my dreams.  He's the one that told me.  He told me where to find more on it."  I hugged myself.  "I'm afraid to sleep but now… now he can make me sleep."

Dumbledore stood up and walked over to the portrait of a black-haired man.

"Phineas."  Dumbledore said softly.

"Yes, Albus?"  He drawled.

"I need you to go to your other portrait and tell Sirius what Favian has just told me."

"Right away."  Phineas rolled his eyes and disappeared.

"Will he stop coming to my dreams?"  I asked timidly.

Dumbledore frowned.  "I don't know.  I don't understand the concept of the Aviata as much as I wish I did."

"Do you know what the silver and gold snakes are?"

Dumbledore smiled slightly.  "Yes.  But you see, the silver snake chooses the gold snake.  The silver snake represents the evil side and gold is good.  I assume Tom told you that he was the silver snake?"

"Yeah."

"Harry Potter is therefore the gold snake."


	4. Danger Beyond

"Why?"  I asked.

"Harry Potter is related to Voldemort."  Dumbledore said quietly.  "Through Salazar Slytherin.  It is something that has recently come to my attention.  See, both are the snakes because they are brothers, of a sort.  One is good and one is not.  Both Voldemort and Harry are parseltongues.  The silver snake will always try to destroy the golden snake, and vice versa.  The silver snake begins the battle."

"And the dove chooses the victor."  I muttered.

"Yes."  Dumbledore's blue eyes bore into mine.  "I only wish you didn't have to be so young a dove."

Harry, Hermione, and Ron returned at the end of Christmas break.  They had had a decent Christmas.  Mine had been all right, just lonely.  I had dreaded breaking up with Dean and found it difficult to find the words to do it.  I knew that I had to, for his sake, but it wound up being him doing the break-up.

"Favian, I need to tell you something."  He looked extremely embarrassed.  "I… think I like someone else and it doesn't feel right going out with you anymore."

"That's fine.  As long as we can still be friends."  I felt somewhat put out as his reason, but I was happy that I hadn't had to break his heart.

He broke into a smile.  "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"You're great, Favian.  Really, you are."

I shrugged.  "Thanks."  _If I was great, then you wouldn't have fallen for someone else._

"Where's Harry?"  I asked the next evening, as Ron, Hermione and I worked on homework together in the library.  

"Occlumency lessons with Snape."  Ron explained quietly.  

"Occlumency?"  I asked.

"Ask him when he gets back."

That wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't passed out at that instant.

_"Favian."  Tom was there, already grasping my waist firmly._

_"Hi."  I said quietly.  I was too afraid to complain about him making me fall asleep.  "How do you do that, anyway?"  I asked in a slightly tremulous voice._

_"Trade secret."_

_"Why secret?"  I slowly worked his arms away from my waist, but he wasn't letting up._

_"I wouldn't want it getting out.  Let's just call it a special spell."_

_"Deal."  I started prying his fingers away.  "Hey Tom, I'm really hot right now… so…."  Actually, I was freezing.  I began to quaver._

_"There's no use in lying to me.  Tell me why you really want to be let go."_

_"Okay."  BECAUSE YOU'RE VOLDEMORT!  "Because I feel like we're too physical sometimes and that makes me uncomfortable."_

_He released me, to my great relief._

_"I broke up with Dean."  I said quickly, only just looking at Tom in the eye.  _

_I saw a flicker of a smile dart over his face.  "Oh, good."_

_"How far away from me are you?"_

_"A good distance."_

_Keep it that way.  "I see."  I folded my arms and looked away at nothing.  We were still surrounded by that odd white void that he seemed to control with his will._

_"Have you discovered who the golden snake is?"  Tom asked, smiling ironically. _

_I jolted.  "What?"_

_"Favian, I know that you've figured it out.  You're not a moron.  Sure you're a bit gullible but I think it's all starting to fit together in your mind."_

_I took a step back.  "Tom…."_

_"I've left that name behind.  Don't bother with it."  Voldemort blinked slowly, his eyes turning faintly red.  _

_"Oh God, no."  I whispered._

_"Who's the golden snake?  Is it Dumbledore?"_

_"No!"  I said, tripping over my own feet as I walked backwards.  Voldemort advanced._

_"Tell me, Favian Fynn, tell me.  I so desire this knowledge."_

_"Never!"  I shouted.  I turned to run but he was always there, like a bad movie.  I screamed, terrified.  Now he would hurt me.  Now he would practically kill me.  He grabbed my wrists in his right hand.  I willed my wrists to become huge, but nothing happened._

_"It won't hurt you to say a simple name."  He enticed._

_"Maybe not me, but it will hurt him."  I hissed, wriggling my arms._

_"Is it Black?  Lupin?  Or maybe…."  He paused to think, "Someone a little nearer to your own age?"_

_I kept tight-lipped._

_"Potter.  That's who it is."_

_"Nope."  I said triumphantly.  "You are way off, Mr. Riddle."  _

_He slapped me across the face.  He had never hit me before.  "Don't lie, I see right through it.  It is one of those three."_

_"If you're so sure," I spat at him, "then get rid of me now that you know."_

_"No, no, no, Favian.  Didn't your studies teach you anything?  I am coming for you."_

_"You almost killed me on a plane."_

_"No.  You can't die in an air accident."  Voldemort shook his head.  _

_"But I almost drowned."  I glared at him._

_"That was something that I thought of ahead of time.  You see, being a witch saved you.  You wouldn't drown either.  The elements don't kill magical folks."_

_I looked away.  "Why did you do it?  Why did you kill my parents?"_

_"It was to see if it was you coming or not."_

_"That's the worst thing I've ever heard.  You really are an asshole."_

_Voldemort only laughed, and then conjured something to throw me down on.  A bed._

_"If only this counted."  He muttered.  "But it will be satisfying, none-the-less."_

_I screamed as he began to tear my clothes.  I kicked and…._

"Favian!  Favian!"

I was still screaming and clawing at nothing.  I was breathing heavily and I sat up on my chair to see the entire library staring at me as though I were a lunatic.  Madam Pince was hurrying over, face ashen and pinched.

"Are you okay?"  Hermione asked.  Harry had been in the midst of explaining something to Ron and Hermione before I had awoken.  

"What is the matter with you?"  Madam Pince hissed.  "This is a library, not an amusement park!"

"I'm sorry!"  I cried.  "I'm leaving."  I stood quickly, grabbed my stuff and ran out.  I felt like I had become narcoleptic and that terrified me.  I was sobbing as I fled down the corridor.  

"Oh Fynn, what are you crying about?"

I swore very nastily at the Slytherin team, who were watching me running.

"Language, Fynn."  Montague clicked his tongue.  "What would you do if a teacher overheard?"  Montague had grabbed my shoulder.  I was in no mood to put up with him, so I slugged him in the stomach.  His abs were as hard as rock but it had the effect that I desired: he doubled over wheezing.

I ran all the way back to the Common Room and heard footsteps behind me.  I found Hermione, Harry and Ron had chased me all the way back.  I continued to cry my hardest and I collapsed in the middle of the hallway.  Hermione crouched down and hugged me.  I hugged her back, wishing that my mother was there to hug me.  That my father was there to tell me that everything would be all right.  Instead I had Hermione there, to console me and to ask me what had happened.

Ron and Harry looked on, not sure what to do.

"He knows… he knows…."

"Who knows what?"  Ron asked bluntly.

"Voldemort knows that I know that he's Tom.  And he can make me fall asleep!"  I choked.

"Since when?"  Hermione asked. 

"Since the holidays."

"You should tell…."

"Dumbledore knows."  I whimpered.  "And he doesn't know what to do."

Hermione became very grim at these words.  

"Let's go to the room of requirement."  Hermione said.  "So we can discuss this in private."

I nodded numbly and allowed her to push me there.  

The room of requirement was filled with tissues and cushy chairs.  Hermione sat me down in one and took another.  Ron and Harry looked tentative as they took their seats.

Harry explained all about his Occlumency lessons and why he needed them.

"I keep getting… feelings from Voldemort.  And he can read my mind."  Suddenly, Harry fell over and started laughing insanely.  I crouched next to him on the floor and called out his name.  Ron and Hermione shook him and he stopped.  "Voldemort… Voldemort's really happy."  Harry gasped.  He looked nauseous.

"Maybe you should go to bed."  I offered.

"No.  I've got to hear what's happened to you."  Harry said fervently.

"Harry, you're in danger."  I muttered.  

"What's new?"  Harry grinned weakly.

I sighed.  "I had this one dream, the night that Voldemort attacked Mr. Weasley.  Tom… well, you know, he was there, he told me to wait and while I was waiting, I dreamed about a silver snake and a golden snake.  I was a dove and they were both coming towards me, trying to get me to join them.  They both needed me to succeed.  Quickly, anyway."  I paused for breath and thought.  "Voldemort is the silver snake."  I said.  "Tonight he wanted to know who the golden snake was; I wouldn't tell him so he attacked me.  He started to…" I faltered, "He started to… take advantage of me."  I finished lamely.  "I was screaming and kicking because of that."  I brightened suddenly.  "The good news is: that doesn't actually do anything.  I mean, it might hurt and all, but at least it's all mental."

"Favian, that bite on your neck wasn't mental."  Hermione said.

"Have you ever heard of mental stuff becoming physical?  If I believe enough that I'm hurting, I will start to hurt and vice versa."

Hermione thought about this.

"Who's the golden snake?"  Ron burst.  "Or do you know?"

I shrugged.

"You know, don't you?"  Harry said suddenly.  "You said that you wouldn't tell Voldemort, but you didn't say that you didn't know."

"It's not a big deal."  I changed the subject.  "Look, I'm really tired and we'll get in trouble if we're caught."

"Okay."  Harry realized that I wasn't up to talking, and he obviously still felt ill.

Once we were in our room, Hermione whispered to me: "It's Harry, isn't it?"

After the ten Death Eaters had escaped from prison, the mood of the entire castle had changed.  My dreams improved, for lack of Voldemort, who must have been busy.  People were beginning to ponder Harry and Dumbledore's explanation of Voldemort returning.  I had had no idea how little people had believed them.  It drove Umbridge nuts to see people discussing Ministry failures so she spat out yet another decree.

**"Teachers are hereby banned from giving students any information that is not strictly related to the subjects they are paid to teach."    **

Good job Umbridge.  

Both Hagrid and Trelawney, the Divination teacher, were on probation apparently.  I learned that Umbridge was making Hagrid goof up during lessons.  I wanted to kick that woman as hard as I could.  Instead, I began to attend Hagrid's lessons more regularly just to express extreme interest in his subject.  It actually made Umbridge a little annoyed.  

"Why don't you always come to these lessons, Ms. Fynn?"  She asked me, one morning.

"This isn't a class of mine, Professor; I come out of unadulterated interest.  It's my free period, after all."  I shot her a phony smile.  I wanted it to be as obviously false as possible.  She pursed her froggy lips irritably but said nothing, completely powerless over a fake smile.

Quidditch practice was fun, cold, but certainly fun.  They exhausted me, and by evening I had no time to think about miserable topics such as my problems.  The D.A. meetings were brilliant and gave everyone a sense of power against the old toad that called herself High Inquisitor.  

Homework became excessive and I found it difficult to sway myself to attend Hagrid's lessons during my free period.  I did it only because I knew that it drove Umbridge to the edge.  It also merited a crinkly smile from Hagrid.  I spent late nights completing what I could and sometimes would completely skip lunch to get it done.  

The fourteenth of February rolled around.  Everyone was greatly excited for a Hogsmeade trip.  I couldn't have cared less.  I thought it was a lovely excuse to get some homework done while everyone was away.  To my surprise, Angelina wanted a full-day's practice for Quidditch, which meant I would have to do my Potions essay later.  

I sighed as I headed out to the Quidditch pitch with Ron and Andrew.  I had borrowed a broomstick from the school supply and called it my own.  It wasn't great, but it got me where I needed to go.  They called it a Shooting Star, but it was more like a rolling rock.  I felt sluggish next to the rest of the team, zooming around on their wonderful brooms.  

"Ready?  Let's play then!"  Angelina called.  The Bludgers whirred around.  I slugged one hard at the other end of the pitch.  My arms were always sore after a good practice.  I was beginning to get biceps worth flexing.

"Kirke!"  I called.  "Check this out.  Woo!"  I spun under my broom and came back up again.  "Pretty hot, huh?"

"Oh yeah, Fynn."  Andrew winked, and he slammed a Bludger away from Katie.

I laughed and chased the other Bludger, slamming it away.  My heart skipped a beat.  

Darkness.

"Oh crap."  I said quietly.

_"Favian, let's finish what we didn't finish last time."_

_"You've just killed me.  I'm about to die.  Good job, Voldey."  I jolted as I slammed into the ground.  "Ah, can you hear the sound of my soul floating away?"_

_"You're just unconscious.  That means we have a good deal of time together."  Voldemort smiled.  "Let me see what's happening, shall I?"  He disappeared, and I was alone.  Then he came back.  "They're taking you to the infirmary.  Looks like they're quite worried."_

_"Woo."  I muttered sarcastically.  "So, what's up with you?  Now that you've got so much free time… I guess you have your little minions off on some dirty deed."  I sat on the floor and crossed my legs lazily, hoping to invoke annoyance in him.  _

_"Actually, yes.  That's exactly why I have so much free time."  I wasn't surprised that he had managed to take a seat next to me without moving.  We were now on a seat of some sort.  Or just a big, squishy rectangle.  Ah, a bed.  I stood and moved away._

_"Look, I don't think this is going to work out between us."  I shrugged.  "I'm fifteen, you're fifty, you're bent on ruling the world, and I'm not very ambitious, you have a thing against muggles and I happen to find a good deal of them very attractive."_

_"They say opposites attract."  He said bemusedly._

_"They say wrong.  You've just got to have something in common."  I hastily added, "And more than one thing."_

_"If you insist."  He grabbed my neck from behind and pulled me back down next to him._

_"And all this physical stuff, it's just got to go.  Doesn't it gross you out to be molesting a teenager?"  I didn't know why I wasn't terrified like usual.  Maybe it was because I believed I was going to die anyway.  _

_"I'm just getting you ready."_

_"Oh?"  I tried to scoot away, but he had taken my wrists in his hand again.  _

_"Soon.  Soon this will be real."_

_"Hahaha, no."  I looked down and noticed that he had tied my wrists together.  "Clever."  I winked and started to roll off the bed.  He had straddled me and started working at my blouse's buttons.  "Hey, where do I get these clothes, anyway?"   I tried to distract him.  "I mean, I don't have any white blouses anymore, so where does this beast come from?  And these white pants?  What's with all the white?  You got a thing for it?  It's a good color, though, it's not technically a color.  You're going to have to untie my hands if you want to get that off."_

_"Says who?"  _

_"Says me, dip head."  I rolled my eyes.  My shirt disappeared.  "Look, if you can just make my clothes vanish, what's the point of all of this?"_

_"I have a long time with you."_

_"No you don't.  Madam Pomfrey will free me from your spell."  I wriggled underneath him, but he smiled at that.  Ew.  "Any moment now.  Hey, that's my bra.  I'll be needing that."  I felt myself turning red with shame as he unclothed me further.  I writhed insanely, not caring if it were real or not.  I managed to roll over onto my stomach, but Tom…Voldemort stayed on top.  "Get the hell off me!"  I shouted.  He pressed his mouth against my shoulder and then whispered into my ear._

_"Who is the golden snake?"_

_"On that tangent again, are we?"_

_He licked my ear.  "Who is the golden snake?"_

_"Your mom."  _

_He shook his head and brought his finger slowly down my spine.  I shivered as he stopped right above my buttocks.  "Who is the golden snake?"_

_"I don't know, okay?  Dumbledore wouldn't tell me."  I lied._

_He managed to get my hands above my head, tied to what would've been the headboard.  He unbuttoned my pants slowly.  "Who is the golden snake?"_

_"Look, if I tell you, do you promise to let me wake up and leave my dreams forever?"  I figured that Harry couldn't get into more danger anyway.  He was already branded as the Boy Who Lived._

_"Forever?"_

_"Yeah.  Or at least stop making me fall asleep."  I pleaded as his fingers brushed my underwear._

_"Deal."  He pulled my pants off._

_"Will you stop stripping me?"_

_"Perhaps when I've learned his name."_

_"It's Harry Potter, okay?"_

_He started fiddling with my panties.  He didn't respond._

_"Harry Potter!"  I repeated._

_He slowly pulled them down._

"HARRY POTTER!"  I shouted.  I shut up the minute I looked around me and realized that the Quidditch team, dripping wet, were surrounding my hospital bed.  "I have _got to stop shouting in my dreams."  I muttered.  "Ah!"  My body was so sore that when I tried to sit up, I cried out in pain._

"Lay down, Ms. Fynn!"  Madam Pomfrey bustled over.  The team was sitting around me, looking worried.

"Why'd you fall off of your broom?"  Andrew asked.

"I fell asleep."  I threw a meaningful look at Ron.

"Were you dreaming about snakes again?"  Ron asked, catching on.

"Yeah.  Harry was there, he promised to make them stop biting me.  He was all gold though."  I finally admitted to Ron.

"Harry-."  Ron shut up.  "Haha, he'll find that amusing."  Ron forced laughter, his lips turning white.

"All of you, out."

"Madam Pomfrey," Angelina asked quickly, "will she be okay to play tomorrow?"

"Judging these injuries she's sustained?  Certainly not!  I want her in this room all night and tomorrow she can leave."  Madam Pomfrey huffed.

"But-."

"No buts!  Out!  Out!"

The next day I felt even worse than I had after sustaining the injuries.  I had spent my entire dream being chased by Voldemort.  I wouldn't allow him this time to get a hold of me.  So I ran, and ran, and tripped and he was very amused by the whole thing.  Madam Pomfrey told me that I had a fever and would have a potion made immediately.  I wouldn't sleep, though Madam Pomfrey insisted that I should.  She brought the potion to me and after I took it, I was knocked out.  I suppose it was lucky that Tom must have been busy.

"We were slaughtered."  Angelina's voice broke as she gave me the news.  Kirke isn't nearly as good as you are and….  I think I'm going to bed.  I wanted to see that you were all right."

"I'm better."  I said feebly, sitting in the Common Room.  It had taken a battle of wills between Pomfrey and myself to get me out of there.  I felt distinctly shaky and every time someone even brushed against me I shuddered.  

Harry must have known because he wouldn't even look me in the eye.  Every time he was looking over at me and I looked back, he would blush and look away quickly.  It was a miserable evening ended by me finally sleeping, but at least Voldemort wasn't there.

"What's this?"  I whispered to Hermione.  "The Quibbler?  I thought you said…."

"Harry was interviewed!"  She said excitedly.

"Look at all this mail!"  Ron cried.  

"Fan mail."  Luna Lovegood wandered over dreamily and sat between Ron and Fred.  "It's good, isn't it?"

"These are letters from…?"

"Readers."  Luna blinked her large eyes slowly.

"That's what I thought," said Hermione eagerly, "Harry, d'you mind if we-?"

"Help yourself," said Harry, looking slightly bemused.

We began ripping open envelopes.

"This one's from a bloke who thinks you're off your rocker," said Ron, glancing down at his letter.  "Ah well…."

"This woman recommends you try a good course of Shock Spells at St. Mungo's," said Hermione, looking disappointed and crumpling up a second.

"This one looks okay… hey!  She believes me!"  Harry was ecstatic.

"This one's in two minds," said Fred, "Gee, what a waste of parchment."

"Here's another you've convinced, Harry!"  Hermione squealed.

"Another one who thinks you're barking," said Ron, "but this one says you've got her converted, and now she thinks you're a real hero- she's put in a photograph too… wow…."

"This one says he's always known that the Ministry was full of frauds."  I added after scanning my letter.

"What is going on here?"  Said a falsely sweet, girlish voice.

We all turned to face her.  My emotions swam with a mixture of triumph and worry.

_Boo-yah._

"Why have you got all these letters, Mr. Potter?"  She asked slowly.

"Is that a crime now?"  said Fred loudly.  "Getting mail?" 

"Be careful, Mr. Weasley, or I shall have to put you in detention," said Umbridge.  "Well, Mr. Potter?"

It ended in Harry getting another week's worth of detention and fifty points from Gryffindor.  Harry's grin didn't even waver.  Educational Decree Number Twenty-seven was the dumbest thing that Umbridge had ever done: it told everyone to read the Quibbler.  Not directly, of course, but by prohibiting it, everyone wanted to know.

Stupid Umbridge.  

After the celebration in Gryffindor over Harry's triumph, I headed to bed, a little wary of what might come.  It was Harry that had the disturbing dream, as Hermione informed me later on.  I was too mortified to talk to Harry anymore, and that made me feel bad.  

"What do you expect, Favian?  How do you feel knowing that… that…."

"Yeah.  I know; you don't have to say it."  I mumbled.  "I wish someone would just…ugh."

"Tell you what to do?"

"That would be a nice start, but I was thinking shoot me."

Hermione shook her head.  "Harry's not talking to me right now, so it'll be okay if I hang about with you, I think."

"Oh, thanks for the warm fuzzy reason."  I said sarcastically.

I had the worst Defense lesson ever that week.  Professor Umbridge was hovering over me, practically breathing down my neck for the entire lesson, and what was worse, she asked me to stay after.

"Ms. Fynn, it has come to my attention that despite former detention you have still been involved in promiscuous behavior."  Umbridge said sweetly.

"Oh."  I didn't know what to say.  It wasn't true, of course, but no matter what I said it wouldn't matter.  "Can I bring something else to your attention?"  I asked dully.  Then added, "Ma'am?"

"Perhaps."  Umbridge pursed her frog-like lips.

"It's not true.  I don't expect you to believe me, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to give you the truth."  I shrugged.  

"There have been too many accounts from various boys of your tendencies."

I laughed but caught myself by covering my mouth.  I still felt ill and was having trouble restraining my emotions lately.  Then I fell into helpless giggles and even snorted.  Umbridge's eyes bulged at me.

"Stop this foolish laughing at once!"

"I… I… I… c-c-can't!"  I breathed slowly a few times.  "Okay, all better."  I bit my lip, resigned to a fate that I knew was about to come.  

"Do you still deny any such activities?"  Umbridge asked sniffily.

"Yeah.  Look, you can ask any Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw and they'll tell you that I'm not like that."  I shrugged for the umpteenth time.  "But I doubt you will as you're prejudiced towards Slytherins."  Before Umbridge could speak again, I changed tact.  "Look, I've been having a rather crappy week.  I'm really sorry.  It's just my emotions wreaking havoc on innocent bystanders," _though you're certainly not one,_ "and… I just need a good cry.  Will you excuse me?"  I ran out of the room before she could do anything.  


	5. Caught Rats

"Umbridge is going to kill me."  I wheezed to Eloise, falling back on the sofa.

"Why?"  Eloise looked startled.

I laughed psychotically.  "Because I accused her of favoritism and then I ran away."

"Oh, you _are_ toast."

"Jam or cinnamon?"  George sat down next to me.

"Marmalade perhaps?"  Fred sat on my other side.

"Umbridge."  Eloise said, scribbling on her notes.  

"Ew, that's a nasty flavor."  Fred crinkled his nose.

"That's no more kisses for you, Ms. Fynn."  George shook his head.

"Hey!  She let _you kiss her and not __me?"  Fred mockingly clapped a hand to his mouth.  _

"Mum always said I got all the looks in the family…."  George said, looking at his identical twin with an air of importance.

"Hm."  Was my bland response.  Umbridge would kill me, that I was sure of.  There was a shriek from somewhere in the depths of the castle.  Fred, George, Eloise and I jerked up.  We clambered quickly through the portrait hole and ran towards the noise.  Trelawney was being harassed by Umbridge.  Then I realized she was being kicked out!  I couldn't believe it.  My mouth fell open as I saw the state of the ex-teacher.  

"No!"  She screamed.  "NO!  This cannot be happening… It cannot… I refuse to accept it!"

"You didn't realize this was coming?"  Said the high girlish voice of Umbridge.  "Incapable though you are of predicting even tomorrow's weather, you must surely have realized that your pitiful performance during my inspections and lack of any improvement, would make it inevitable you would be sacked?"

"You c-can't!"  Howled Professor Trelawney, tears streaming down her face from behind her enormous lenses.  "You c-can't sack me!  I've b-been here sixteen years!  H-Hogwarts is m-my home!"

"It _was _your home."  Said Umbridge, clearly enjoying her authority.  "An hour ago the Minister of Magic countersigned the order for your dismissal.  Now kindly remove yourself from this hall.  You are embarrassing us."

I had the wild urge to run down and hug Trelawney, even though I didn't even know her.  

"Us?"  I whispered.  "Is there a mouse in her pocket?"  

Umbridge's head snapped around when she heard my whispering.  I was ready to let her have it, but Fred put a hand on my shoulder and I remembered my place.  Umbridge was distracted by McGonagall rushing forward to help Trelawney.

"There, there, Sibyll… Calm down…. Blow your nose on this.  It's not as bad as it seems, now…. You are not going to have to leave Hogwarts…."  McGonagall handed Trelawney a large handkerchief.

"Oh really, Professor McGonagall?"  Said Umbridge in a deadly voice, taking a few steps forward.  "And your authority for that statement is…?"  

"That would be mine."  Said a deep voice.

The oak front doors had swung open to reveal Dumbledore.  He swept in from the misty night and left the doors wide open behind him.  He strode forward through the circle of onlookers toward the place where Trelawney sat, tearstained and trembling, upon her trunk, Professor McGonagall alongside her.

"Yours, Professor Dumbledore?"  Said Umbridge with a singularly unpleasant little laugh.  "I'm afraid you do not understand the position.  I have here an Order of Dismissal signed by myself and the Minister of Magic.  Under the terms of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts has the power to inspect, place upon probation, and sack any teacher she- that is to say, I- feel is not performing up to the standard required by the Ministry of Magic.  I have decided that Professor Trelawney is not up to scratch.  I have dismissed her."

I was shocked to see that Dumbledore was still smiling.  "You are quite right, of course, Professor Umbridge.  As High Inquisitor you have every right to dismiss my teachers.  You do not, however, have the authority to send them away from the castle.  I am afraid," he went on with a courteous little bow, "that the power to do that still resides with the headmaster, and it is my wish that Professor Trelawney continue to live at Hogwarts."

Trelawney gave a wild little laugh in which a hiccup was barely concealed.

"No- no, I'll go, Dumbledore!  I shall l-leave Hogwarts and s-seek my fortune elsewhere-."

"No."  Said Dumbledore sharply.  "It is my wish that you remain, Sibyll."

I clenched my fist, resisting pumping it into the air in triumph.

A few teachers rushed in from the crowd to help Trelawney get her things back up to her room.  Her luggage rose into the air and proceeded up the staircase after her.

"And what," Umbridge whispered loudly, "are you going to do with her once I appoint a new Divination teacher who needs her lodgings?"

"Oh, that won't be a problem," said Dumbledore pleasantly.  "You see, I have already found us a new Divination teacher, and he will prefer lodgings on the ground floor."

"You've found-?"  Umbridge cried shrilly.  "_You've found?  Might I remind you, Dumbledore, that under Educational Decree Twenty-two-"_

"-the Ministry has the right to appoint a suitable candidate if- and only if- the headmaster is unable to find one," said Dumbledore.  "I am happy to say that on this occasion I have succeeded.  May I introduce you?"

He turned to the open oak doors.  I heard hooves and wondered if the teacher was arriving on horseback.  There was a shocked murmur around the hall as a centaur entered.  Not just any centaur.

"Firenze!"  I whispered happily.

"This is Firenze," said Dumbledore happily to a thunderstruck Umbridge.  "I think you'll find him suitable."  And I'm quite sure that Dumbledore winked at me.

While most of the Gryffindors had their extra subject that day, Divination in some cases, I had nothing.  My homework was done and I had a free period.  I used it to go to my spot on the roof and talk to Jaeger for awhile.  He was rather twitchy.

"What's wrong?"

He shrugged.

"Does the sun make you uncomfortable?"

He nodded.  

"Ah, well, I've got to go anyway." 

My classes that day were fine, and for the rest of the week okay as well.  Umbridge kept a particularly sharp eye on me and Harry during class.  Thinking of Harry… that boy still hadn't spoken to me.  During D.A. meetings he avoided helping me.  My Patronus was a dove and while it was sweet, it gave me the chills because it reminded me of things I'd have preferred to forget.  It faded when I remembered.  My mouth hadn't moved in awhile and it felt rather cemented together.  Even for the Patronus spell I thought the words without saying them and it seemed to work all right.  Hermione and Harry were talking about the Patronus she had conjured.  I felt desolate and alone in the corner of the room.  Dean and Ginny were talking animatedly and I felt a ping of jealousy, so I looked away.  

Dobby burst into the room.

"Harry Potter, sir…" squeaked the elf, trembling all over, "Dobby has come to warn you… but the house-elves have been warned not to tell…."  He ran headfirst into the wall.  My hand flew to my throat in surprise.  Harry tried to seize Dobby but didn't need to because Dobby's eight hats bounced against the wall and he flew backwards.

"What's happened, Dobby?"  Harry asked, grabbing the elf's tiny arm and holding him away from anything with which he might seek to hurt himself.

"Harry Potter… she… she…."

Dobby hit himself hard on the nose with his free fist.  Harry grabbed that too.  

"Umbridge."  I whispered.

Harry nodded, and made eye-contact with me for the first time in weeks.

"What about her, Dobby- she hasn't found out about- this… has she?"

"She's coming."  I breathed.  

"Yes!  Favian Fynn!  Harry Potter!  You are in danger!"

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"  Harry bellowed.  "RUN!"  

Everyone pelted towards the exit at once, forming a scrum at the door.  Then they burst through.  I could hear them sprinting down the hall.

"Harry, come on!"  Hermione shrieked from the center of the knot.  

"Dobby- this is an order- get back down the kitchen with the other elves, and if she asks you whether you warned me, lie and say no!"  Said Harry.  "And I forbid you to hurt yourself."

"Thank you, Harry Potter!"  

"Favian!  What are you waiting for?"  Harry grabbed my wrist and pulled me through.  He looked around and stared at the boys' bathroom just up ahead.  Something caught us by the ankles and we fell hard on top of each other.  I tilted my head back and saw Malfoy grinning down at us.  

"Trip Jinx, Potter!"  He said.  "Hey, Professor, I've got two!"

Umbridge came bustling around the far corner, breathless but wearing a delighted smile.

"It's him!  And her!"  She cried jubilantly at the sight of us on the floor.  "Excellent, Draco, excellent, oh very good.  Fifty points to Slytherin!  I'll take them from here… Stand up Potter!  Fynn!"

We got to our feet and I noticed Harry glaring ferociously at them.  I felt so deep in myself that nothing could penetrate.  I didn't even fully understand what Umbridge was saying.  I saw Malfoy bounce off happily, shooting me a nasty grin as he went.  My face remained as smooth as stone because I was lost inside of myself.  My arm was squeezed between Umbridge's pudgy fingers as she dragged us away.

"…me to the headmaster's office, Potter.  And Fynn."  We were at the stone gargoyle of Dumbledore's office within minutes.  "Fizzing Whizbee."  Sang Umbridge and the stone gargoyle jumped aside and the wall behind split open to reveal the spiral staircase.  We stood on a step and rode solemnly up.  Well, Umbridge was practically jumping with delight, but Harry and I were in foul moods.

There was a short man with a look of vicious satisfaction on his face.  I remembered him from Diagon Alley.  Corny Fudge or something.

"Well," he said, "well, well, well…."

"He was heading back to Gryffindor Tower with the American," said Umbridge.  "The Malfoy boy cornered them."

"Did he, did he?"  Fudge beamed.  "I must remember to tell Lucius.  Well, Potter… I expect you know why you are here?"

"Yeh… no."  Harry responded, watching the headmaster.  I was shocked that Harry held his tongue but somewhat glad that he did.

"I beg your pardon?" 

"No," said Harry firmly.  

"And what about you, Ms. Fynn?"  Fudge turned on me, hoping for a more honest answer.

"Not really."  I shrugged, following Harry's lead.

"You don't?"

"Not a clue."

Fudge looked incredulously from Harry to Umbridge to me.  

"So you have no idea," Fudge said in a voice sagging with sarcasm, "why Professor Umbridge has brought you to this office?  You are not aware that you have broken any school rules?"

"School rules?"  Said Harry.  "No."

"Or Ministry decrees?"  Amended Fudge angrily.

"Not that I'm aware of," said Harry dully.

I couldn't imagine how we were going to get out of this one.  If someone tattled on us, we were screwed.

"So it's news to you, is it, that an illegal student organization has been discovered with this school?"

"Yes, it is."  _Harry, drop the look of surprise, it isn't convincing!!                    _

"I think, Minister," said Umbridge silkily from beside him, "we might make better progress if I fetch our informant."

"Yes, yes do."  Fudge nodded.  "There's nothing like a good witness, is there, Dumbledore?"

"Nothing at all, Cornelius," said Dumbledore gravely.

There was a very awkward silence in which nobody talked.  I looked around the room and saw who was there.  I saw Shacklebolt and almost said hi, but realized that it probably wasn't the time.  He nodded almost unnoticeably to me but pressed his lips together very slightly.  He stood next to a short, wiry-haired wizard.  They looked like guards positioned on either side of the door.  

In waltzed Umbridge accompanied by the curly-haired friend of Cho, Marietta.  She was hiding her face in her hands.  

"Don't be scared, dear, don't be frightened."  _Be very afraid, you squealing bitch._  "It's quite all right, now.  You have done the right thing.  The minister is very pleased with you.  He'll be telling your mother what a good girl you've been.  Marietta's mother, Minister," she added, looking up at Fudge, "is Madam Edgecombe from the Department of Magical Transportation- she's been helping us police school fires, you know."

"Jolly good, jolly good!"  Fudge was clearly excited.  "Like mother, like daughter, eh?  Well, come on, now, dear, look up, don't be shy, let's hear what you've got to- galloping gargoyles!"

Marietta's face was disfigured by a horrible series of purple pustules that read SNEAK.  _Go Hermione._

"Never mind the spots now, dear," said Umbridge impatiently, "just take your robes away from your mouth and tell the Minister-."

Marietta gave a muffled wail and shook her head frantically.

"Oh very well, you silly girl, I'll tell him."  Snapped Umbridge.  "Well, Minister…."  Umbridge went on to explain how Marietta was telling Umbridge about the D.A. but had to stop when she saw her face in the mirror.  My hearing suddenly became impaired.  All I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my chest.  Images flashed before my eyes of people dying, people writhing and me… me wondering a rocky shore and me crying on a roof.  I wobbled oh-so-slightly but the arguing continued loudly outside of my sphere.  My vision swam and sweat broke out on my forehead.  I licked my lips and swallowed.  

_Make the swirling stop….  I closed my eyes to no avail.  A deep voice rumbled somewhere as I tottered.  I heard the word Army… Army… __Death Eaters…I will have you….  No!  __Yes, Favian.  You swore yourself to me and there is no retracting on promises.  I made no promises!__  Potter shall die, like his father and your own parents and you shall make my cause whole.  Never!_

"NO!"  Harry shouted from my side.  It wasn't for me.  Something was happening but I couldn't… I couldn't understand….  _Shut up Potter….  Fudge?  Voldemort? GO AWAY!  __Favian… you cannot banish me.  You promised!  _I promised not to make you fall asleep.  So far you are awake.  __

"Dumbledore…."  I whispered.  "Help…."  But no one could hear me.  There were angry voices and energy… it was everywhere.  

"He will not…."  _I am not alone, Favian.  Remember that forces bend to my will.  _"Single-handed!"  McGonagall?

"Oh yes he will, Minerva!"  That was certainly Dumbledore.  My knees buckled and there was all this… silver….

"Are you all right?"  Dumbledore asked.  I still couldn't see anything but swirls of color.  I felt myself dragged to my feet.  "Favian?  Was she…."

"I… help!"  I gasped.  "I can't…. leave… help."

There was a rough hand on my face.  

"What's happening?"  I heard McGonagall.

"Favian, come back."  Dumbledore whispered.  "You can fight it." 

I breathed in until I thought my lungs would pop and suddenly I could see again.

"What's happening?"  I asked, standing up on my own as I saw all the bodies around us.  

"Later, Favian.  They mustn't know we have spoken."  

I nodded.

"Where will you go, Dumbledore?"  Whispered McGonagall, a hand still firmly on my shoulder.  "Grimmauld Place?"

"Oh no," said Dumbledore with a grim smile.  "I am not leaving to go into hiding.  Fudge will soon wish he'd never dislodged me from Hogwarts, I promise you."

"He what?"  I was stunned.

Harry and McGonagall stared at me as though I had been living under a rock.

"Ask Harry later, Favian, there is no time."

"Professor Dumbledore…."  Harry began.

"Listen to me, Harry," he said urgently, "you must study Occlumency as hard as you can, do you understand me?  Do everything Professor Snape tells you and practice it particularly every night before sleeping so that you can close your mind to bad dreams- you will understand why soon enough, but you must promise me-."

The wiry-haired man was stirring.  Dumbledore seized Harry's wrist.

"Remember- close your mind- you will understand."  The phoenix flew to Dumbledore, who grasped his tail and they were gone in a flash of fire.

"Where is he?"  Yelled Fudge.  "_Where is he?"_

"I don't know!"  Shouted Kingsley, leaping to his feet.

"Well, he can't have Disapperated!"  Cried Umbridge.  "You can't inside this school-."

"The stairs!"  Cried the wiry-haired wizard and he, Shacklebolt, and Umbridge wrenched the door open and ran.  Fudge got to his feet slowly.  

"Well, Minerva," said Fudge nastily, straightening his torn shirt sleeve, "I'm afraid this is the end of your friend Dumbledore."

"You think so, do you?"  Said McGonagall scornfully.

Fudge looked around the office, ignoring McGonagall.  A few of the portraits hissed at him; one or two even made rude hand gestures.

"You'd better get those three off to bed."  Fudge motioned towards Marietta, Harry and myself.  McGonagall marched us towards the door and down the halls. 

"I'll take Marietta to the hospital wing.  I trust you two know how to get back to the Common Room?"

I nodded weakly.

"And, Ms. Fynn, if you have any further problems, please come and see me immediately."  And she went off to the hospital wing with Marietta in tow.

I told Harry what had happened and he told me.

"You really ought to take Occlumency too."  Harry suggested.

"It wouldn't work.  This is something different."  I shook my head.  "Dumbledore considered it."  I realized suddenly that he was talking to me again.  "It's this whole Aviata business."

"Yeah." Harry flushed and looked away.  And so ended the Harry-talking-to-me spell.


	6. Escape

It seemed to happen overnight that a thousand notices went up proclaiming Umbridge as headmistress.  The story of Dumbledore's escape was surprisingly accurate except for a few.  Everyone seemed to know that I had been there, but I quite honestly couldn't remember much.  Harry went back to avoiding eye-contact with me and I fell back into despair.  

On the way back from Herbology that day, Ernie Macmillan was exclaiming that Dumbledore would be back before long.  "They couldn't keep him away in our second year and they won't be able to this time.  The Fat Friar told me…" his voice dropped so that the four of us had to get closer to hear, "…that Umbridge tried to get back into his office last night after they searched  the castle and grounds for him  Couldn't get past the gargoyle.  The Head's office has sealed itself against her."  Ernie smirked.  "Apparently she had a right little tantrum…."

"Oh, I expect she really fancied herself sitting up there in the Head's office," said Hermione viciously, as they walked up the stone steps into the entrance hall.  "Lording it over all the other teachers, the stupid puffed-up, power-crazy old-."

"Now, do you _really _want to finish that sentence, Granger?"

Draco Malfoy.  How fun.  He and his two cronies followed closely behind him.

"Afraid I'm going to have to dock a few points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff."

"That's great."  I said.  

"It's only teachers that can dock points from Houses, Malfoy."  Said Ernie at once.  

"Yeah, we're prefects too, remember?"  Snarled Ron.

"I know _prefects _can't dock points, Weasel King."  Sneered Malfoy.  Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.  "But members of the Inquisitorial Squad-."

"The _what?_"

"So Umbridge's made a squad for herself then?  All Slytherins I expect?"  I spat.

"That's right."  Malfoy pointed to a badge beneath his prefect's badge.  "Anyway, members of the Inquisitorial Squad _do have the power to dock points… so, Granger, I'll have five from you for being rude about our new headmistress… Macmillan, five for contradicting me… five because I don't like you, Potter… Weasley, your shirt's not tucked, so I'll have another five for that… Oh yeah, I forgot, you're a Mudblood, Granger, so ten for that….  And Favian, how could I forget you?  I award five points to you for having a nice ass and I'm going to dock ten for being a slut."_

Ron pulled out his wand, but I pushed it away.  

"Malfoy, dock as much as you want.  I guarantee that by the end of the year, Slytherin will have all the House points while the rest of us have zilch.  But guess what?  I don't give a flying fuck about House points."

Malfoy looked a bit taken aback.  So did my friends.

"Oh Favian Fynn, I see it's going to take a bit more to wipe the frosting off of your cupcake."

"Do what you will, you ass tampon."  I swore.

"I think twenty more, because you need to learn some respect."  Malfoy narrowed his eyes at me.

"Haha, whatever."

Malfoy and his comrades walked off, muttering.

My friends gaped at me. 

"Do you honestly care that much about House points that you'd suck up to _them?_  There is no way that the House Cup will be anyone's but the Slytherins as long as the she-bitch is in control."

"He was probably bluffing anyway."  Ernie said.  We went to check.  The hourglasses for the Houses were so obviously changed except for the nice, full, Slytherin.

"Noticed, have you?"  Said Fred.  He and George had just come down the marble staircase.  

"Montague just tried to dock us."  George said.

"What do you mean, 'tried'?"  Asked Ron quickly.    

"He never managed to get all the words out," said Fred, "due to the fact that we forced him headfirst into that Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor."

While Hermione cried out that they would be slaughtered, I hugged them so hard that they gasped.  I told them how much I loved them and backed away.  They were grinning sheepishly.

"We won't get into trouble until Montague reappears, anyway.  But that doesn't matter.  We don't care about getting into trouble anymore."

"Have you ever?"  Asked Hermione.

"Of course.  Never been expelled, have we?"

"We've always known where to draw the line," said Fred.

"We might have put a toe across it occasionally," said George.

"But we've always stopped short of causing real mayhem."

"But now?"  Ron asked tentatively.

"Well, now-."  Said George.

"-what with Dumbledore gone-."

"-we reckon a bit of mayhem-."  

"-is exactly what our dear new Head deserves."  Fred finished.

"You mustn't!"  Hermione whispered.  "You really mustn't!  She's love a reason to expel you!"

"You don't get it, Hermione, do you?"  Fred smiled at her.  "We don't care about staying anymore.  We'd walk out right now if we weren't determined to do our bit for Dumbledore first.  So anyway," he checked his watch, "phase one is about to begin.  I'd get in the Great Hall for lunch, if I were you, that way the teachers will see you can't have had anything to do with it."

"Anything to do with what?"  Hermione asked anxiously.

"You'll see.  Run along now."  George demanded.

"How about a good luck kiss?"  Fred asked me.  

"If you ever deserved one, it'd be now."  I nodded.  And I kissed them both on the cheeks.  Hermione clucked her tongue as the twins winked at me and we left.  

The classes were excellent that day.  All of the fireworks that George and Fred had created were so difficult for Umbridge to deal with that she was positively fuming by the end of it.  The teachers were so sarcastic that I wanted to hug them.  The Weasley twins were a hit in the common room that night.  Even Hermione congratulated them, to their utter shock.  Hermione didn't even feel like studying.  

Once the Easter holidays came round, Hermione was busy drawing up studying schedules for all three of us.  Harry still wasn't talking to me, but he wasn't talking to anyone else either.  He had had a bad experience with Snape, apparently.  Wouldn't say a word.  

One night when I felt as though I might explode into tears I snuck out onto the roof with Jaeger for the first time in weeks.

"Hey Jaeger."  I collapsed sobbing onto the ground.  "It's too much.  This stupid Aviata thing!  And Harry not talking to me!  And Umbridge taking over this school!  I feel like I'm going to pop!" 

Jaeger opened his arms to me.  I rushed forward, glad to hug someone.  I cried into his shoulder for a long time and his stony arms embraced me.  It felt odd to be hugged by a statue, but when no one else had compassion or arms that would encircle, this was fine.  He squeezed me hard enough to rid me of the anger and sadness and desperation I was feeling, or that's what it felt like he was trying to do.   

After a few moments I was ready to be released.

"Okay, Jaeger, thanks."  I sniffed, resting my chin on his shoulder.  But he wasn't letting go.  "Jaeger?  Are you okay?"  I wondered what it was like to be a statue sitting on a roof all day long.  Was it stressful?  

A stony finger came up to my cheek and I thought it was wiping a tear away.  But it was tracing letters.

"Oh, okay, start over.  Is that a T?  No?  Ohh, an I.  I A M….  Wait, was that an L?  Okay.  I am L… Lorb?  Oh, Lord.  I am Lord V….  No!  No you can't be!  No!"  I struggled to get away, but Jaeger was shaking with laughter.  "This is a dream!  A vicious nightmare!  Let go of me!  Please!  Oh God no!"  He dragged me over the roof; my heels were digging into the stone to no avail.  "Help!"  I knew none would hear my cries.  He dangled me over the side.  "Let me go!  Please!"  My wand!  It was back in my room.  I couldn't fly without it!  

"Favian!"  I heard someone calling my name.  I relaxed, thinking someone was coming to wake me up, but I slipped from Jaeger… Voldemort's stone arms.  I grabbed the side of the roof just in time.  There was a jolt to my wrists and I gasped in pain and fear.  My sweaty fingers were slipping.  I kicked against the wall, trying to keep myself up.  "Locomotor mortis!"  I heard someone yell. 

"Help me!  Please!  Ah!"  My fingernails dug into the only cracks they could find.  Strong hands grabbed my wrists and pulled me to the roof.  I knelt on the roof shaking something awful and I looked up.  "Thank you, Harry."  He sat next to me and hugged me.  "Thank you."  I sobbed.  "Oh my God."  

He rubbed my back and breathed heavily, as though he had rushed to get there.

"How did you know?"  I asked, after a time.  "How did you know?"

"Voldemort… was happy and I saw why.  I was inside the statue you call Jaeger.  I knew how to get here because you had spoken to him about the passage before."

"Harry, you saved my life."

Harry flushed and shrugged.  "No need to mention it."

"I didn't think… I thought I was alone."

"I understand what it's like."  

"Do you ever just want to be understood?"  

"Yes."

I knelt in front of him in my pajamas and took his hand.  "Harry, I'm sorry."

He looked up slowly.  "For what?"

"For telling you.  And him."

"Oh, well, it's not like you put me in danger I wasn't already in."

"But you've felt… weird around me."

"Haven't you felt weird around _me?"_

I nodded.  "I still wanted to talk to you.  You're one of the only people who understands what I'm going through.  Hermione gets freaked out and wants to tell Dumbledore.  Ron just… well, he's Ron, let's face it.  Ginny doesn't want to bring that stuff up and who does that leave?"

"My God, Favian.  I understand.  God I was stupid."  Harry took his free hand and ran it through his hair.  "I didn't think you wanted to talk to me at all… I mean, why would you?  Of course you would.  We're going through the same thing."

"It's not just that."  I shook my head fervently.  "You're fun to talk to.  You're one of the first friends I've made in Europe.  You're a great person, Harry!  I just feel like I've seriously screwed up."

"You didn't screw up.  You did what you thought was best at the time.  Believe me; I know what that's like."  Harry laughed sardonically.

I smiled.  "So you forgive me then?"

"Of course."  He nodded.  

"What do we do about Jaeger?  Voldemort?"  I pointed my thumb at the statue, which was frozen with arms outstretched.

"He's got a Jinx on him.  We'll be good for awhile.  I'd just stay off the roof in the future."

"Good plan, Stan."  I winked.

"Favian."  Harry smiled, squeezing my hand.  "I've really missed you."

I hugged him again.  Then as I backed away I looked at his eyes.  

"You know," I commented, "I've never noticed how green your eyes are."  

"You've never been this close."  He agreed.  

His hand was still clutched in mine.  I felt as though a force were pulling me towards him.  _Animal magnetism.  I resisted against my will because I knew that it could ruin what friendship we had regained.  My freehand, never-the-less, trailed to his scar and I traced it.  He shivered and his eyes closed.  My heart was pounding in my chest louder than a drum.  I traced the contour of his jaw with my thumb and slowly leaned forward, not knowing what to expect.  Gently, I pressed my lips against his.  His free hand shook as he clasped my neck and held me there a moment longer._

We separated slowly, and opened our eyes.

"My heart," I whispered, "it's going that fast."  I took his hand and put it on my heart so he could feel it.

"So's mine."  He pressed his forehead against mine and I smiled.  

We sat on the edge of the roof and looked at the grounds, fingers intertwined.  

"What do we do now?"  I asked, leaning my head onto his shoulder.

"I don't know."  He leaned his cheek into my hair.  "But I don't think it really matters as long as we just… do things.  If that makes any sense."

It made perfect sense.

"Career Advice."  I read aloud.  "All fifth years… blah, blah, blah…. We have to talk to our Head of House about career ideas.  Soon."

"How exciting."  Ron grabbed a bunch of pamphlets and was leafing through them during the last evening of the holidays.  "Urgh, look at all these requirements for Healing…an E at N.E.W.T. level in Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms, and Defense Against the Dark Arts.  Blimey.  That's asking for a bit." 

"Well, it's a very responsible job, isn't it?"  Hermione said while leaving through a Muggle Relations pamphlet.  "You don't seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles… all they want is an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies….  '_Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience, and a good sense of fun!'"_

"You'd need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle."  Harry said darkly.  "Good sense of when to duck, more like."  

"They probably require skill in Quidditch too then."  I said blandly, reading a brochure on working at a magical bookstore called Avalon.  

"Why's that?"

"Dodging all the Bludgers and morons on broomsticks."

"Hm, sounds good."  

"Hey," said a voice quietly.  I turned abruptly to see Fred leaning over Harry.  "Ginny's had a word with us about you."  Fred and George took seats next to Harry.  Harry and I were sitting with enough room between us to maybe fit a doll, that way we weren't too obvious but we weren't far apart either.  We hadn't told Hermione or Ron about the prior night's events.  

"She says you need to talk to Sirius?"  George whispered.

"What?"  Said Hermione sharply, stopping partway from picking up a leaflet on Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.

"Yeah…."  Harry said in a wannabe casual voice.  "Yeah, I thought I'd like-."

"Don't be so ridiculous," Hermione straightened up and stared incredulously at Harry.  "With Umbridge groping around in the fires and frisking all the owls?"

"Well, we think we can find a way around that," said George, stretching and smiling.  "It's a simple matter of causing a diversion.  Now, you might have noticed that we have been rather quiet on the mayhem front during the Easter holidays?"

I nodded.

"What was the point, we asked ourselves, of disrupting leisure time?"  Continued Fred.  "No point at all, we answered ourselves.  And of course, we'd have messed up people's studying too, which would be the very last thing we'd want to do."

He nodded at Hermione, who looked rather knocked for six by his thoughtfulness.

"But it's business as usual from tomorrow," Fred continued briskly, "And if we're going to be causing a bit of uproar…."

"Why not help Harry talk to Sirius?  That's a great idea."  I agreed.

"Exactly."

"Yes, but _still,_" Hermione said slowly, "even if you _do _cause a diversion, how is Harry supposed to talk to him?"

"Umbridge's office."  Harry said quietly.  "The only fire not watched.  She told me herself."

"Are- you- insane?"  Hermione hissed.

"I don't think so," said Harry, shrugging.  Ron was watching the conversation with his mouth firmly shut and eyes wide.  

"And how do you plan to get in there?"  

"Sirius's knife."  

"Excuse me?"  

Harry explained about a knife that Sirius had sent him the Christmas before last that opened any lock.  There was a handy carving utensil.  

"What do you think about this?"  Hermione asked me.

"I'd say go for it.  We've already risked about everything else.  Why not this?"  Harry's pinky brushed mine slightly.  I felt a faint flush creep into my face.  No one seemed to notice though.    

"And you?"  Hermione wheeled around to glare at Ron.

"I dunno," Ron looked frightened to give his opinion.  "If Harry wants to do it, it's up to him, isn't it?"

"Spoken like a true friend and Weasley," Fred clapped Ron on the shoulder.  "Right, then.  We're thinking of doing it tomorrow, just after lessons, because it should cause maximum impact if everybody's in the corridors- Harry, we'll set it off in the east wing somewhere, draw her right away from her own office- I reckon we should be able to guarantee you, what, twenty minutes?"  

"Easy."  Replied George. 

"What sort of diversion?"  Ron asked.

"You'll see, little bro."  Said Fred, as he and George got up again.  "At least, you will if you trot along to Gregory the Smarmy's corridor round about five o'clock tomorrow."  After they left I finally spoke.

"That's a good head's up to stay away."  I pushed a tendril of hair behind my ear.  Hermione was still glaring at Ron, who was now immersed in a leaflet that was upside down.  I leaned over and whispered quietly to Harry.  "This is the part where she demands he marry her."

"You think?"  Harry grinned.

"It's a classic time, when everyone's beet red."  I said sagely.

"What is?"  Ron asked, turning to us to avoid looking at Hermione.

"Nothing."  We said simultaneously.

Hermione rolled her eyes and went back to searching the leaflets for job ideas.

The next day I felt that Harry was definitely preoccupied with his talk with Sirius.  He was looking forward to and dreading it beyond all things.  Hermione wouldn't let up and both Ron and Harry would no longer talk to her.  She didn't let it bother her or anything.  She used their silence as a chance to warn them constantly.  

I left them during Potions for my meeting with McGonagall about my career options.  I carried my books with me down the corridor to Professor McGonagall's office.  She was waiting in there with a surprising many papers.  They didn't look like parchment either, but computer paper.  I frowned as I took a seat in front of her desk.  I lowered myself slowly to the chair and looked at the paper more closely, hoping to catch a glimpse at what it was.  There were bits of parchment in the middle of it and together they looked odd.  It was like mixing my old world with this new one.

"Hello, Ms. Fynn."  McGonagall's eyes did not leave the page for more than a split second.  "I am just looking over your school records from the States."

"Oh?"  I wondered what it had taken to get a hold of them.

She looked up at me and made sharp eye-contact.  "Have you given any thought to an occupation you might like?"

"I… I really have no idea what I would like.  Or what I _could _do."

"Understandable."  Professor McGonagall nodded.  "Given your history, this is going to be the most difficult year of your life."

I nodded my assent.

"As you don't take any of the extra courses this year, I'm not sure what classes you may want to drop."  McGonagall put the papers down on the desk.  "Are there any you can think of right now?"

"No.  Not really.  I enjoy the subject matter of all of my classes."

"Really?"  McGonagall's mouth turned up in a small smile.  "That will leave a lot of fields open to you.  I notice from your school records that you were very good in all of your subjects."

I shrugged.  

"And I see that you had put in a request to take more than one language?"

"Yeah, I like languages."  I nodded.  "But I just like learning in general.  Things that I can apply are my favorite but history, while applicable for some people, is like a story."  I blushed for a second.  "Though, Defense Against the Dark Arts is a class I don't enjoy, I like the subject."

"You've spoken to Miss Granger about extra classes?"  McGonagall asked, taking notes.

"Yes.  There are three classes I would really like to take next year, if that's possible."

"Which?"

"Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, and Study of Ancient Runes."

"I think you could tackle those."  McGonagall nodded.  "Have you attended any of those classes with Miss Granger?"

"Yes.  All of them."  

"Good!  Those classes will leave a lot open to you."

I smiled.  "I remember my dad had to take a lot of courses to become a physician and pathologist.  Muggle Healers."  I explained quickly.  

"Do you think you'd be interested in Healing?"

I thought about it.  "No.  It's something I like learning about but I don't care to apply myself to."

"That's reasonable.  There is a certain pressure on you to narrow down a few jobs you hold interest in just for the sake of knowing how to help you."

"Oh, yes!  That's right!"  I pulled a piece of parchment out of my bag.  "I've written down all of the jobs I thought looked like something I'd enjoy."  I passed the paper to McGonagall.

"You have fourteen jobs on this list!  That's a good start.  You'd need Arithmancy for about four of them, Care of Magical Creatures for two, and Study of Ancient Runes for three.  Your knowledge of languages will help you as well for a good many of these.  You would consider being a Curse-Breaker, Spell-Modifier, working at the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, working as an ambassador for the Ministry… the Muggle relations one you could do as a Muggle-born, but they would ask you have an O.W.L. in the studies, which I doubt you would find very interesting."

"Oh, no."  I shook my head.  

"I see you're interested in business?  You would like to work at a bookshop?  Ah, Avalon's bookstore.  Dangerous job, but very good work.  They don't have many employees."

"That was one of my favorite options."  Not only did they sort books, but they had to track down dangerous books and fight off the creatures lurking in the vast underground bookstore that had come in with cursed books and had been living there already.  There was so much to interpret and it excited me to think about.

"You would need all of the three classes you are interested in.  Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, History of Magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Astrology, and Herbology are all important.  N.E.W.T.'s are only required in Transfiguration and Charms.  O.W.L.'s are required in all the rest." 

I grinned.  "That's the job I want."

"Then that's the job you shall strive for."

I returned to class right after Potions and asked Hermione if I could go to Arithmancy with her that day.  She said it was no problem, and brightened considerably when I told her what McGonagall had told me.

"That's wonderful news, Favian."  

I grinned back at her.  

"You definitely have a head start in Arithmancy, though, because you've been in Muggle mathematics for so long.  All you have to do is learn formulas for magic and apply them with regular arithmetic."  

Hermione had been giving me lessons in Arithmancy anyway, because she enjoyed practicing her Arithmancy by teaching it.  The Runes I had studied on my own when I was in America, and a lot of the Muggle meanings were similar or the same as Wizard meaning.  Hermione had helped me with that too.  I could feel excitement bubbling inside of me as I thought about my future.  It was the first time I had felt that feeling for a long time.  

Before I knew it, it was time for Defense Against the Dark Arts with "Professor" Umbridge.  Hermione went back to berating Harry and begging him to think about what he was planning to do.  She had no affect on him.  Oh well.  Class ended and we all trudged out of the room.  Harry was looking nervous and Hermione looked like she wanted to strangle him in exasperation.  

Umbridge pelted out of her classroom as she heard the screams on the floor above.  And Harry flew away too, in another direction.  Hermione called hopelessly after him.  

"Hermione, he's got something… very difficult on his mind."  I said.  "Let him put it to rest.  Besides, he's brought his cloak with him.  It'll be all right." 

Hermione's jaw stiffened but she nodded.  Ron clapped me on the shoulder, as if to say thanks.  

I sniffed.  "D'you smell that?"  

"What?  Oy!  Yeah!"  Ron covered his nose as we neared the Entrance Hall.  

"Stink sap."  Hermione and I chimed.

And indeed, in the Entrance Hall quite a few students had been doused in the foul substance.  There, in the middle of the throng of students were Fred and George.  Hermione, Ron and I had managed to push our way to the front.  The twins stood proud even as Umbridge came at them with a chubby, ringed, accusatory finger.

"So, you think it amusing to turn a school corridor into a swamp, do you?" 

"Pretty amusing, yeah."  Said Fred, looking at her without the slightest hint of fear.

I saw Filch shoving his way through the crowd next to Umbridge, grinning so broadly I thought he had won a million galleons.

"I've got the form, Headmistress," he said hoarsely, waving a piece of parchment like a prize.  "I've got the form and I've got the whips waiting….  Oh, let me do it now…."  My heart skipped a beat in fear.  They were allowed to whip people?  Were Fred and George going to be okay?

"Very good, Argus," she said.  "You two," Umbridge went on, glaring at Fred and George, "are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school."

"You know what?"  Said Fred.  "I don't think we are."

He turned to George, his identical twin in every way.

"George," said Fred, "I think we've outgrown full-time education."

"Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself."  Said George like it was nothing.

"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?"  Asked Fred.

"Definitely."  Said George.

Together, they raised their wands and cried "_Accio Brooms!"   _

Fred and George's brooms made a loud crashing noise as they arrived still attached to a heavy chain and iron peg.  The twins got on their brooms.

"We won't be seeing you," Fred told Professor Umbridge.

"Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch," said George.

"If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley- Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes," he advertised in a loud voice, "our new premises!"

"Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat," added George, pointing to Umbridge.

"STOP THEM!"  Shrieked Umbridge.  But it didn't matter, because even as the Inquisitorial Squad ran at them, Fred and George kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air, the iron peg swinging dangerously below.  Fred looked across the hall at Peeves.

"Give her hell from us, Peeves."

The poltergeist took off his hat and saluted them.  The hall broke into tumultuous applause from the students and the twins sped out the open front doors into the magnificent twilight.

"I LOVE YOU TWO!"  I screamed out at them amidst the wild cheering.  Umbridge was so red that it seemed likely she would explode.  I wished that she would.


	7. Ask Harry

Harry and I sat it out in the Common Room until everyone else had left.  Hermione and Ron didn't leave for awhile, even as we were the last in the room.  It was awkward for me and Harry to do anything because we were trying to keep it secret from Ron and Hermione.  Hermione got to the point where she was so tired that she just left without a word.  Ron muttered something about "tired, morning."  And left.  Harry and I were finally alone.  I sighed as I leaned into him.  

The Common Room had talked the subject of Fred and George nearly to death.  Their legend, of course, would never die, but there was little else to say about it.

"We're going to be hearing about that one for the rest of our lives."  Harry said dully.

"It was brilliant, though.  I can't find a better word for it."  I clasped his hand and examined it half-heartedly, tracing its contours with my index finger.  

"You came during a very crappy year, Favian."  Harry said, staring at me.

"I don't know; it could be worse."

"Yeah, but it's still crappy."  

"Just can't have everything."  We were both trying to stay up as long as possible to ward off any unwanted dreams.  I started humming absently.

"What's that tune?  I think I know it."  Harry asked.

"I don't know.  It's just a bunch of random notes." 

"Ah, that's why I know it."  

I frowned. 

"That's all I ever hum.  Random.  Notes."  

"Are you ready for bed?  You seem really tired."

"I don't really want to go to bed just yet."

"Me neither."  While my body did, I didn't want to.  Tom hadn't shown up in a good while and I wanted it to stay that way.  Harry laced his fingers through mine then brought my fingers to his lips.  I smiled and pulled him towards me.  I don't think I'd ever experienced a more passionate kiss.  Then again, that was just about my fifth kiss in my entire lifetime.  It was really natural with him, almost frighteningly so.  

My heart was pounding softly, sounding like footsteps almost.  Softly descending…. 

Harry and I pulled away a fraction of a second too late.  Ron stood on the boys' staircase gaping like a beached fish.  There was nothing to be said for it.  I cleared my throat.

"Well, I think I've been up too long.  I'll see you in the morning Harry."  I was blushing furiously.

"Yeah….  In the morning, Favian.  Sleep tight."

"You too."  And I ran up the girls' staircase.

"What were you doing-?"  I heard Ron start.  I got into the girls' dormitory in time to hear nothing else of what was being said.  I changed into my pajamas and slid under the covers and slipped quickly into a nightmare.

_"You!  What were you doing?!"  Tom roared at me.  I backed away, immediately crashing into a solid wall._

_"What business is it of YOURS?"  I shouted back, though I was shaking and my voice was tremulous.  "My life is MY LIFE!"_

_"No!"  Tom grabbed my shoulders.  "You are MINE!"_

_"I am mine!"  I shouted in his face.  I tried to knee him but he grabbed my knee in mid-swing._

_"You listen to me."  Tom got really close to my face, to the point where I could feel his breath against my cheek.  "I could deal with you dating that mudblood for only so long, but Harry Potter is not even an option.  You will date no more."  _

_I spat in his face, but it made no difference to him.  It was just spit anyway.  _

_"I will date whom I chose."  I growled.  "You may control my dreams, but my waking hours belong to me."_

_"And if you lose those waking hours, Favian Fynn Clark?  What then?"  _

_"How dare you use my true name?!"  I socked him in the stomach, but he only laughed, removing a wand from his pocket.  I ducked and ran away, further into the white mist._

_"You cannot hide, Favian.  I can always bring you back!"  I heard him somewhere behind me… no next to me… rather above me.  _

_I screamed as I felt my arms pinioned to my sides by strong arms.  I thrashed violently, attempting to wrench my arms from his grasp.  I had gotten new muscle from Quidditch and it had come into my dreams as well.  _

_"You're getting stronger.  But I will always be stronger than you."_

_I didn't reply in words, but cried out as I spun around and yanked my body backwards.  He let me go at that instant and I fell down.  I almost caught my balance but the floor beneath my feet hurled me to the floor so violently that I didn't have a chance.  I bit my tongue in the fall and tasted blood.  It filled my mouth with its coppery flavor.  I spat it out and it dripped down my lips.  I used the back of my hand to wipe it away.  My foot was shot with a sudden pain.  I was breathing heavily, but I wasn't alone. _

_Standing above me was Voldemort.  His eyes glowed red in Tom's face.  Tom was Voldemort._

_"You are mine."  He hissed._

_I pushed my feet against the ground and tried to slide away.  My progress was slow and useless.  I was still winded from my fall and my tongue ached.  I wore no shoes and I had definitely done something to my foot when I tripped.  There was a sharp pain every time I moved it.  Tom didn't care.  I almost cried remembering how long I had spilled my soul to him and how much I thought I had loved him, how desperate I had been for him to be real and now… now he was doing this._

_He crouched over me.  "Those injuries," he touched my lower lip and I wanted to bite him, but for fear of more pain.  "They will be there in the morning.  But why cannot the rest be real?"  He got close to my face, "Why can I feel you but why can't it be the true thing?  I could have you now and be done with you.  The world would fall to my command after this instant!  But this is all false."_

_Why does it hurt?  I wondered.  How can I hurt myself this badly in bed?  _

_Tom sat on top of my legs and ripped off my shirt violently.  I whimpered quietly and tried to retrieve it.  Tom ignored my outstretched hands and continued on his lusty journey.  I moved my non-injured leg as much as I could, but it was useless.  My body was tired.  I was tired.  The adrenaline wasn't helping like it was supposed to._

_"Please, please don't.  It doesn't make a difference to you.  Please."_

_"Beg, but for me, this is what I need."_

_I crossed my arms protectively over my exposed chest.  He ignored me and unbuttoned my pants, yanking them viciously down.  He turned away for a second and when I tried to squirm away, my foot twinged and I cried out.  It hurt as he took my pants off over my broken foot.  The last of my garments was then removed and I was completely naked.  _

_How much longer must this nightmare last?  Tears welled stubbornly in my eyes.  I stared at him in contempt.  His clothes came off slowly, as though he were trying to torture me.  He was.  Oh, he was.  I closed my eyes, scrunched them shut, praying that maybe it would jerk me away from him.  _

_It's not real.  It's not real.  It's not real….  I kept telling myself.  It wasn't, but it was._

_When I heard him discarding his pants, I knew that it was over.  I opened my eyes reluctantly and saw him there.  He ran a thumb up my bare stomach and whispered in my ear: "Finally, you will be mine.  Soon you will come."_

I was still crying as I woke up.  I had spat blood all down my front and my foot hurt as blood pooled wherever under my flesh.  

"You stupid foot," I whispered, wiping tears from my eyes.  "You goddamn, stupid, useless foot."  There was a metallic sound to my whispering.  I dragged my right foot out from under the covers to look at it.  There was a large swelling mass on the outer side of it.  I cried into my knee.  "It wasn't real.  Oh God."  I sniffed loudly and spat out more blood.  My covers were sprayed with it.  He had made some new injuries, too.  When I wouldn't move my arms, his nails had cut into the delicate flesh of the bottom of my forearm.  It bled, now clotting.  How could he hurt me but the other part of it not be _real?_  Was I still a virgin?

I grabbed at my lower part and realized that it didn't hurt anymore.  Maybe… I had to be.  But why did I sustain the other injuries?  Was I doing it to myself in my sleep?  I looked at my fingernails on my other hand and didn't find blood caking them, so I wasn't scratching myself.

I shuddered and hugged myself.  I propped my foot up on my pillow in hopes that the swelling would go down.  I lay back down, desiring a real sleep, for I ached bone-deep.  I don't know how I managed, but I did sleep for another two hours.  It was a dreamless sleep and in that time my energy was much more replenished.

It was time to get up when I woke up.  The other girls were hurriedly getting ready, still chatting about the twins' escape.  I kept my hangings shut and tried to make myself unnoticeable as possible.  I didn't want any questions.  I wanted to wash my face before anyone saw me.

"Favian?"  Eloise called to me.  "Are you awake?"

"Yeah."  I called, in what I hoped was a groggy voice.  My tongue couldn't grasp a more complex word because of the cut.  Whenever I tried to move it, it issued blood.  My face felt stiff with dried blood.  I needed to get to the hospital wing and I would have to crawl.

"You're going to miss breakfast if you don't get up."  Parvati said.  "Are you sure you're awake?"

"Mmhmm."

"Is that sleep muttering?"  I heard Lavender ask.  

"Unh-unh."  But my denial sounded like sleep muttering.  

"Wake her up, then."  Someone came over to my hangings and opened them.  I pulled my sheets up to my nose, but realized they were stained with blood too.  

"Favian?"  Parvati's mouth was open.  "Oh dear, are… what happened?"

I shook my head.  

She looked down at my foot and saw the swelling.  

"What is it?"  Lavender came up beside her and her jaw dropped as well.  Eloise was last in coming.  Hermione had already left for breakfast.  Three people there that had no idea what was happening to me.  

"H-how did you manage to get upstairs?"

I shrugged.  "Can you help me get to the hospital wing?"  I asked, reluctantly drawing the sheet away from my bloodstained face.  "The bathroom first, so I can wash this off."  I indicated my blood caked chin.  "I bit my tongue."  I explained in a strained voice, cringing with the use of my bleeding tongue.

"Of course."  Eloise jumped to the rescue.  I swung my feet out of bed and Eloise came to my right side to help me hobble out of the room.  Parvati and Lavender came over too.

"Don't make her hop down the steps."  Parvati said quickly.  "Fireman's carry."

Eloise nodded.  Parvati took my left leg and arm and they carried me down the steps cautiously.

"D'you… want a blanket or something to cover it up until we get to the bathroom?"  Lavender asked awkwardly, carrying a smaller blanket in the crook her arm. 

I nodded miserably.

She came up to me and helped me cover myself.  Parvati and Eloise got me down the stairs and into the Common Room, where a few students still remained.  They were animatedly discussing the twins' action of yesterday.  

"What's that you're carrying?"  I heard Dean Thomas ask.  "A dead body?"

"Nothing, Dean."  Eloise said in exasperation.  

"Yes, that's convincing.  It's shaped like a human and there's blood dripping down… whoa!  There's blood all over her arm!  Who is that?!"

The whole Common Room became silent.

"It doesn't matter."  Parvati snapped.  "Leave her alone.  We're taking her to the infirmary."

"That's the girls' bathroom."  Someone said.  

"It's none of your business!"  Lavender cried out.  I heard a door creep open.   And then after we were inside, Lavender slammed it shut.  

"Set me down by a sink, please."  I requested.

They complied.  Lavender stood guard by the door while I used a towel to wash my face of the blood.  It was all down my chin and parts of my cheeks.  What I had presumed to be dried tears were actually droplets of blood.  My chest heaved but I tried to keep it under control.

"I look like a vampire."  I joked feebly.  Eloise kept a steadying hand on my shoulder.

"What happened?"  She asked.

"I'm not sure."  I was honest.  

"You were beat up or something and you aren't sure what happened?"  Lavender was amazed.

I blushed.  "I bit my tongue in my sleep.  And this cut is from… from… Quidditch practice, probably."

"What about your foot?"  Parvati asked.

"I don't know.  Maybe in my sleep I rolled on it or something?"

"Sounds dodgy to me."  Lavender said.  Parvati nudged her to be quiet.  Once my face was clean, Eloise helped me hobble to the door.  

"Coast is clear."  Lavender said, looking out.  "They've all left for breakfast."

"Oh no," I sobbed, "I'm sorry guys!  I didn't even think of that!  You should eat breakfast."       

"I think this is a bit more important."  Eloise said firmly.

"Quite."  Parvati agreed.  Lavender helped me through the portrait hole and the Fat Lady stared at us.

"What happened to you?"  She asked.

"Long night."  I said grimly.

"You should get a stretcher."  The Fat Lady said.  

I nodded.  

"Favian?"  I heard Seamus behind us.  A few people had stayed behind, or were returning from a very fast breakfast.  I looked away, ashamed.  "You're not going to get to the hospital wing very fast that way."

"Do you have a better idea?"  Eloise asked.

"Why don't we carry her?"  Dean said.

"I don't think any of you can lift me alone for long."  I said stubbornly.  "Why don't we just summon a stretcher or something?"

"I can carry you, no problem."  Andrew Kirke was there too.  "If that's not a problem for you."

"If you think you can… I'm no lightweight."

"Sure you're not."  He came over and scooped me up into a cradle position.  "The rest of you ought to get to breakfast.  Goldstein, would you tell Professor Flitwick I'll be late in coming?"

"Yeah."  Anthony Goldstein agreed.

"Thank you."  I muttered to him.  I kept an arm around his neck to help him out.  I looked away from the small crowd I had attracted and hoped he would get us to the hospital quickly.  

"What happened to you, Fynn?  You look like someone's beaten you."

I said nothing.

"Did someone hit you?"  Kirke sounded angry.

"It doesn't matter.  I don't want to talk about it."

"Was it a Slytherin?"

"Kirke, please."  He must have caught the tears in my voice and he nodded solemnly.

Madam Pomfrey was in a right state when she saw me.

"Why didn't someone summon a stretcher?  Put her on this bed."

"Thank you for taking me up."  I whispered.  "You should go.  I'll see you tonight."

He looked reluctant to leave, but he did.

"What on Earth happened to you?"  Pomfrey asked, looking at my foot and blood-stained nightshirt.  "And you were in your pajamas for all of this?"

"I… had to go to the bathroom in the night and I fell down the steps."  I said, thinking fast.  "I bit my tongue and hurt my foot."

"What's this?"  She indicated the scratch.  

"Oh, I got that… when… I don't remember when.  I get a lot of cuts, so I usually forget."

Madam Pomfrey looked at my foot and clucked her tongue.  "Fifth metatarsal.  I can heal it up quickly.  As for the rest of you, it shouldn't take more than a moment."

She took out her wand and tapped my foot where it was swollen and bruised.  Within seconds it was back to normal and didn't hurt at all.  She healed my scratches and told me I had ruptured a vein in my tongue.  She fixed that too.  There was some bruising on my shoulders from where Tom's fingers had dug in.  I didn't point them out.  That would be too difficult to explain away.

"Can I go now?  I have to get to class."  I asked feebly.

"I don't think I can keep you."  Madam Pomfrey looked at me with a stern gaze.  "I'll write you a note for class.  You should stay and have some porridge."

I nodded dully, not wanting to argue.  She summoned a bowl for me and I thanked her.  After I had eaten as much as I could stomach, I stood and she pulled out a quill and parchment.  

"Go get changed and show this to your teacher.  What's the class you're heading to?"

"Transfiguration."

"Right then."  Her quill scratched quickly over the parchment and she handed me the note.  "If you have anymore accidents, please summon a stretcher next time."

I thanked her again and left.  

The Fat Lady admitted me into the common room with a look of concern etched on her face.  I told her not to worry and thanked her for her concern.  I pattered up the girls' staircase and into the dorm.  I was afraid to cry just yet, because I knew that once I started, there would be no end and I had to get to class.  Breathing slowly, I put my robes on and winced as my bruises twinged.  I looked in the full-length mirror at my shoulders and saw eight very distinct marks on my shoulders that were unmistakably fingers.  In front there were the thumb marks.  I resolved not to wear a tank-top until they had completely faded.  They were dark colors already and difficult to miss.  

I collected my necessary books and walked quickly to Transfiguration, breathing in my nose and out my mouth in an "o."  My heart slowed and the tear glands stopped aching.  

"It doesn't matter."  I whispered and I laughed as I realized that I had used an English accent unthinkingly.  My laugh was loud and harsh.  "Gods you are so stupid."  I muttered at myself.  "And you sound like a schizophrenic."  I almost told myself to shut up, but managed somehow to restrain myself.  I entered McGonagall's classroom and walked quickly up to her, handing her Madam Pomfrey's note.  She looked at it with tight lips and then looked back up at me.

"Take a seat, Miss Fynn."  She said softly.  I sat in between Harry and Hermione, who were busy trying to transfigure peppershakers to peppermints.  

"Why are you late?"  Hermione asked after succeeding at changing hers.  

"I fell down the steps this morning and broke my foot."  I lied, copying Hermione's notes.

"Ouch."  Harry looked up at me, his neck slightly red.

"Yeah."  I put my quill down and picked up my wand.  

Hermione, who was next to a tight-lipped Ron, didn't say another word to me all lesson.  I couldn't figure it out.  Finally, when class had ended, Harry and I walked behind them and I asked him why Hermione was giving me the cold shoulder.

"No, it's not that she's angry at you."  Harry shook his head.  "She's a bit confused.  Ron told her what he saw last night."

"What's wrong with us kissing?"  I asked quietly.

"It's because of who we are.  We're treading dangerous waters."

"That's true.  I guess we don't have to be quiet anymore then, if they know."  I added quickly.  "That is, if you're still okay with it."

"Of course I am."  He said indignantly.

I took his hand, partly because I loved him.

And mostly because I wanted Voldemort to know that I would not yield.

"Miss Fynn!"  I heard McGonagall calling me.  I released Harry's hand reluctantly.  "Please, may I have a word?"

"Yeah."  I turned to Harry.  "I'll see you later."

"Right."

I fought my way through the crowd and felt memories of my dream resurfacing.  My stomach lurched but I grit my teeth determinedly.  I smelled a dung bomb somewhere in the distance.  Students rushed by me, laughing and covering their noses.  And so it had begun: the following of the Weasley twins.

I smiled broadly.  At least something good was going to happen.

"Come in," McGonagall closed the classroom door and had me sit in a chair across from her.  

"Professor," I started, "I really would prefer not to talk about what happened."

"Miss Fynn, I need to know so that I can help you."

"Did Professor Dumbledore tell you about my being the Aviata?"

"Yes."  She nodded solemnly.  "And about your dreams."

"That's what it was.  A violent dream."  

"All right, Favian."  Professor McGonagall nodded.  "As you don't seem to be able to stop them, just remember you can always talk to me.  Many of the teachers are aware of your ordeal."

I blushed.  "R-really?"

"Yes.  Professor Dumbledore found it necessary to inform a few so as to help you be protected."

"Oh."  My face burned.  

"Now, why don't you head into your next class?  Unless you're still tired, in which case you are welcome to go back to your dormitory."

"No, I'm okay."  I stood.  "Thank you, Professor McGonagall."

"You're welcome."  

I ran to catch up with Harry, but I didn't need to run far.  He, Hermione and Ron had stopped to watch a spectacle with Umbridge fuming at a couple of students who had gone through the swamp and come out doused in stink sap.  The four of us looked at each other, grinning and scampered to class.  

Throughout the day, students asked me how I was doing.  Ron, Hermione and Harry were very confused by this.  Rumors spread about what had happened to me with surprising speed.  Kirke again asked if someone had beaten me up.  I told him I had fallen during the night and changed subjects.  I noticed Hermione and Harry exchanging dark looks.  Ron frowned but didn't seem to have the same suspicions that Harry and Hermione shared.  I didn't think of my dream-rape again until it was time for bed.  As I stripped down to get into my nightgown, Hermione gasped.  I turned towards her to see what the matter was.

"What's wrong?"  She had a hand over her mouth.  

"Who… grabbed you?"  She indicated the finger bruises on my shoulders.  

I pulled my nightgown over my head.  "I grabbed myself in my sleep, I think."

"But- oh!"  The other three girls in the room looked around at each other but didn't say anything else.  Hermione and I went to sit in the window seat to talk.  She hadn't spoken to me much that day.  "Vol- Tom did that to you?"

I nodded and felt my throat tighten.  "But I want to forget it, please, Hermione, don't say anything to Ron or Harry."

She looked reluctant to agree, but nodded.  "Why did he… is it because of Harry and you?"

"Partly.  And partially because he's a horny bastard."  I swore.  "God dammit, Hermione!  Why?  Why me?  Why ANYONE?"  I hissed, my voice coming out spastically through my whisper.

"Did… Voldemort rape you?"  She finally asked, tears in her eyes.   

I looked away but nodded to the window.  I felt a fat tear rolling down my face.  Hermione fell forward and hugged me.  I hugged her back, sobbing into her shoulder and feeling so violated and terrible that only her hug could save me from it.  She didn't say anything like "it's okay" or "it'll all be alright" or anything so lame.  I was glad that she didn't, but I dreaded slipping into my bed and closing my eyes to drift off into a potentially dangerous world….

Umbridge-itis swept over the school in a fury.  Thanks to the Weasley twins' Skiving Snackboxes, entire classrooms of Defense Against the Dark Arts fell into faints, vomiting rages, and their noses bled ferociously from both nostrils.  Umbridge put four successive classes into detention before finally giving up and allowing students to leave in masses. 

Filch was her only help, but he was extremely busy trying to track down the many wrongdoers.  I'm happy to say that he was failing dismally.  I was very happy to see Montague's parents storming up to the castle one morning.  Their son hadn't yet recovered from his reappearance in a toilet a few days ago.  It brought a wicked grin to my face just thinking about it.

I wasn't having dreams for awhile, but Harry certainly was.  He was dreaming about a corridor with a door at the end.  He confided in me that he was desperate to see what lay beyond.  I told him I understood.  I didn't try to push him to block his dreams because I knew that it was probably difficult and he got enough of that from Hermione.

Hermione always gave me funny looks whenever the subject of dreams was brought up.  I could tell she was choking back what I had told her and it was causing her difficulty.  Even when Harry and I held hands or showed affection, she looked exasperated as though we were simply digging a deeper grave for ourselves.  

One night, I fell asleep and found myself in the white mist.  Whether it was Tom's lair or not, I didn't know because I jerked awake in terror.  It was past midnight and I was shaking.  I didn't know if I'd be able to fall asleep or not, much less want to.  I got out of bed and tip-toed out of the room.  The Common Room was silent and empty.  The fire cast eerie shadows on the wall and I felt a jolt in my stomach.  I could've woken Hermione up, but that felt somehow wrong.  Jaeger was no longer an option.  I looked up the boys' staircase.  Maybe I made the decision because my mind was riddled with sleep and fear.  I ascended the stairs quickly and opened the fifth year boys' door quietly.  

Harry's hangings were partly open and he was sleeping on his back.  I was afraid to wake him up.  I looked around and saw the rest of the boys snoring or curled into fetal position.  Ron was mumbling about "yeah, I am your king, you prats.  Eat my twigs."  I had never been in the boys' dormitory before and it didn't occur to me until morning that I had made a dangerous choice.  I pattered over to Harry and his eyes opened.

He sat up quickly and I took a step back.

"Favian?  Are you okay?"  He whispered, squinting in the dark.

I shook my head.  "Harry, I don't want to be alone.  I'm scared."  I whispered.  "Can I sleep with you tonight?"  

Harry tilted his head at me, but nodded, scooting over on his bed.  "Actually, you take the far side."  I crawled in next to the wall.  "What happened?"  He asked.

"Tom was waiting for me.  I think.  I woke up."

Harry nodded.  "I don't have dreams when you do.  At least, I don't think I do.  D'you need a pillow?"  He asked.

"No.  I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?  'Cause I have two."  He indicated one at the foot of the bed.

"Oh.  Okay."  I picked it up and put it behind me.  Harry kissed my forehead.

"Try to get some sleep, then."

I smiled and lie down.  I rolled to face the wall and as I fell into unconsciousness, I felt Harry's fingers trace the bruises on my back.  I fell asleep.

_"I can't believe my lesson taught you nothing."  Tom looked grimly at me._

_I didn't respond, thinking of Harry breathing steadily next to my real form.  I turned away._

_"I see the nurse didn't heal your bruises."  He commented, surveying my shoulders._

_Harry was next to me in Hogwarts, sleeping, there to help me if I called._

_"Are you afraid, Favian?"  There was laughter in his words._

_Yes.  I thought.  "Beyond logic."  I said.  "I am trembling from deep down and I am wishing that I would jerk out of this so-called sleep.  Is that what you want to hear?"_

_"It's what I know.  I don't need to hear it."  He came up close behind me, breathing on my neck.  His lips brushed it.  I shuddered but didn't fight.  I merely stepped forward cautiously.  My prudence was wise, because there was an invisible wall in front of me.  I turned to face Tom.  He took my face in his hands.  I reached up and pushed them away slowly, keeping my eyes on his._

_Tom grabbed my shoulders where he had last and I cried out as he squeezed.  He pushed me against the wall and shoved his lips against mine.  I shut my mouth and was reminded strongly of Montague, except that Tom knew how to kiss, unlike Montague.  Tom squeezed my shoulders again and my mouth jerked open as I whimpered.  _

"Favian, wake up."

_"Who is calling you?"  Tom pulled away._

_"Harry Potter."  I said triumphantly._

_"From where?"  He hissed._

_But I never answered him.   _

"Favian, are you okay?"  Harry whispered.  

"I am now."  I hugged him.  "Kiss me."  I whispered into his ear.

Harry complied.  I felt his face grow warmer under my hands.  "How did you get those bruises?"  He asked.

"Tom."  I replied, pressing my body against his.  We were holding one another at just less than an arm's length.  

"I saw them getting darker, that's when I woke you up."

"Thank you."  I held him closer to me.  We kissed again before I rolled over again and he draped his arm over my side.  I held his hand in mine and fell asleep to see only vague dreams.

I started waking up when I heard Harry pulling the hangings all the way shut quickly.  I rolled over to frown at him.

"They're about to get up."

I suddenly realized fully where I was and I turned crimson.

"Shouldn't I… sort of hide then?  Or leave?"

"They might see you."

"Won't they see me if I don't leave now?"  I mumbled under my breath.

I heard Neville yawn loudly.  Seamus burped and Dean congratulated him on that fine accomplishment.  Harry pushed me down, kissed my cheek and covered me with the blankets in a messy sort of way.  He pulled the hangings open and stood up.

"Saturday, chaps."  Ron said nervously.  "Match against Ravenclaw next week."

I almost said "oh yeah," but remembered that I wasn't really supposed to be there.

"Mm."  Harry mumbled.  "You know, I think I'll have a bit of a lie-in."

"That's a good idea."  I heard Neville yawn.  "I think I will too."

"I'm going to breakfast.  I'll see you later, Harry."  Ron said.  "I've got practice later and homework."

"You're doing your homework today?"  Seamus sounded incredulous.  "That's a first."

"First time for everything."  Ron mumbled.  I had a very urgent itch on my thigh.  I stiffened, longing to scratch it.  It gradually got worse and I grit my teeth, imagining scratching the area until it bled.  I heard three pairs of feet leave the room.  Neville collapsed into his bed and began snoring loudly again.  I scratched my thigh, almost sighing in relief.  Harry uncovered me.  

"Take the cloak."  Harry handed me a silvery cloak that seemed to be woven with water rather than fabric, but was somehow solid.  I put it on and no longer saw my feet.  "I'll see you later."  He whispered.  I touched his cheek with my non-hand and walked out.  Ron was still standing on the stair case, right outside the door.  I caught my breath just in time.  Ron squinted at the door because it seemed to have opened on its own.  He reached out blindly and I dodged under his arms just in time but he seemed to have heard me.  He grabbed at me and whispered.  

"Harry, what are you doing?"

I backed up the staircase, quickly thinking up excuses.  Ron grabbed the hem of the cloak and yanked it off.  

"Favian?"  He gasped.

I shrugged, feeling my face turn a deep shade of red.  "I know how this must look, but that's not what happened."

"Then what the blazes were you doing in our dormitory?"  

"I had a really bad dream so I went to sleep with Harry.  That's all.  I slept in his bed."

Ron handed the cloak back to me reluctantly.  "I wouldn't be telling people that, if I were you."

"I hadn't been planning on it."  I started walked down the steps, pulling the cloak over myself.

"What are those bruises on your shoulders?"

"Ask Harry."


	8. When Will It End?

(Thanks to the reviewers who review.  I was considering not updating but that crazy girl and Rachel have made me sufficiently willing.  I might post another chapter later today too.)

Ron shot me the most conspicuous meaningful looks all throughout the day.  Harry kept his eye-contact cautiously away from Ron's.  Whenever Ron opened his mouth to say something, he would cough or shove food into it.  Sometimes Harry would jump in, mentioning Quidditch.

Hermione, Ron, Harry and I sat in the library, a few hours before Quidditch practice, getting some homework out of the way.  She paused over a star chart and looked as though she couldn't concentrate.

"That's Betelgeuse."  I said to her.

"Favian, I'm not an idiot."  She said.

"I didn't say you were, but you looked like you were having trouble." 

"What's going on?"  She hissed at the three of us.

"Favian slept with Harry last night."  Ron burst.

Harry gave Ron the dirtiest look I had ever seen in my life. 

"Not like that."  I amended.  "I was scared so… it seemed like a good idea at the time.  I just took up the other side of his bed.  Nothing happened."  Hermione stared in amazement at me. 

"Nothing happened?  Were you having another nightmare then?"  Hermione asked. 

"Yeah."

"He didn't do that again, did he?"  Hermione whispered. 

"Harry stopped him."

"Did you see the bruises on her shoulders?"  Harry asked.  "I mean, I could see them getting squeezed in her sleep."

"What did he do?"  Ron asked.  "That he did before that Hermione's been hinting at for a long time."

"Perceptive."  I glared at Hermione.

"Well, don't you think they should know?"

"No."

"It might help, in case it happens again, so they can help out."  Hermione blabbered.

"It doesn't _matter._"  I was turning steadily redder in the face.

"Maybe if you and Harry played it cool for awhile it would stop happening…."  Hermione tried again.

"That's not going to change how horny he is."  I spat.  "You deal with the dreams, Hermione, and then you can decide who I can date."  I slammed my book shut and stomped out of the room.  I knew Hermione wasn't going to say anything, but they would figure it out.  It wasn't exactly difficult.  Or maybe it was.

"Favian," Harry caught up to me, pushing his glasses back into place, as I was heading towards a staircase. 

"What?"  I turned to look at him, gritting my jaw.  "Did she tell you?  Are you done with me for my 'safety'?"

"Only if you want to be done with me."  He looked rather hurt.

"No, of course I don't."  I pulled my bag in front of my chest and hugged it.

"D'you want to go talk somewhere?"

I nodded and we walked up to the North Tower where people seldom went.  We sat inside a deserted room and I told him about my ordeal, praying that I might keep the tears away.  It didn't work.  I became a human Niagara Falls.  Harry squeezed the healthy part of my shoulder then hugged me slowly, as though afraid he might break me. 

It was the day of the final match.  Us versus Ravenclaw.  It was also my first match.  And I was playing against Harry's ex.  _Guess who has a Bludger, Cho._  I was surprised at how vindictive my thoughts were.  I was extremely nervous about how my play would go.  Angelina had been extremely fervent in our practices, but I noticed that she was always watching me to make sure that I was still conscious.  Ginny thought that Angelina meant to revive me without informing Pomfrey.  I didn't contradict her.

I put on my red and gold Quidditch uniform and breathed deeply for a few minutes.  My semi-trusty broomstick was clutched tightly in my right hand as I stood by the exit next to Kirke.

"Nervous?"  He asked, grinning.

"Like a nervous-thing."  I stammered.

"Nice.  Don't worry about it.  Really."

"And here are the Gryffindors… Johnson… Spinnet… Bell… Weasley… Fynn…."  I followed the aforementioned onto the field, my face bursting with red.  "…AND Weasley!"  There was applause from the Gryffindor side of the stadium.  Lee Jordan called out the Ravenclaws next.  Madam Hooch blew the whistle and we jumped up into the air.  Kirke and I spread out, ready to slam the whizzing black balls of doom at opposite players. 

"And they're off!"  Said Lee.  "And Davies takes the Quaffle immediately…."  I searched for a Bludger, but it was conveniently absent.  The Ravenclaw captain made the first score. 

"Weasley cannot save a thing,

He cannot block a single ring…."

I found a Bludger and slammed it at a Ravenclaw player who came into possession of the Quaffle.  I knocked the wind out of him and he dropped the ball into Alicia's hands.  She flew down the line at a goal and almost made it if not for a Ravenclaw Beater.  Angelina had gotten underneath her and caught the Quaffle, making the first Gryffindor score of the game.  I smiled and looked back to see how Ron was faring.  He had a sort of sickened and craven look on his face.  I didn't want him missing any more goals so I was determined to keep all Ravenclaw players away from him. 

Bradley, a Ravenclaw Chaser came in possession of the Quaffle.  He started towards Ron with a sort of wicked grin on his face.  I saw a Bludger but the Ravenclaw Beater beat me to it and hit it at me.  I just managed to dodge it and it went flying by.  Everyone on the Gryffindor team sat on tenterhooks, hoping… praying that Ron might make his first save….

"AND WEASLEY SAVES THE QUAFFLE!"  Lee Jordan boomed magically loud.  He jumped up and did a victory jig, pausing to hug McGonagall who looked equally pleased.  Ron's face, earlier sullen and dark was now beaming and excited.  I noticed Angelina's mouth drop. 

I saw Ginny crying with mirth and Cho was looking around distractedly.  She went into a dive and I found a Bludger at the same time.

_For Harry,_ I thought as I slammed the ball at the Ravenclaw Seeker's back.  I hit my target and Ginny turned around as she heard Cho cry out in anguish and pain.  Ginny mouthed a silent "thank you" to me and went back to diligently searching.  Cho shot me a dirty look but I just saluted her with my bat and flew on.

Again, Bradley, perhaps his pride shot, flew towards Ron with the Quaffle.  It seemed to me that Ron had never been so determined.  He managed yet again to stop the Quaffle and return it to his teammates.  The Gryffindors screeched with joy.  Ron was positively glowing with pleasure.  Davies wasn't happy with Bradley and demanded that he pass the Quaffle to him.  Davies flew towards Ron but Ron _again_ saved the goal.  The stadium exploded into a roar of approval.  Davies intercepted the Quaffle and I slammed a Bludger at him, knocking the Quaffle out of his possession.  He turned back to look at me incredulously.  I smiled at him and winked.  I didn't stop to watch his reaction, because Katie Bell had scored a goal for Gryffindor. 

Ginny circled high above with Cho following her as they searched for the Snitch.  I saw it flutter for a moment by the Ravenclaw end but I didn't want to point it out for both Cho and Ginny to see.  It disappeared in a flash of gold and there was a roar of approval as Alicia made a score. 

Cho stopped to watch as Davies made another attempt at scoring against Ron.  In that instant there was a flash of red as Ginny Weasley flew at top speed over to a spot just beneath Cho Chang.  In the second it took for Cho to look down, Ginny already had the small struggling Snitch caught in her right hand, silver wings beating uselessly against her fingers.  Madam Hooch blew the whistle and everyone came down to land.  Cho was furious.  She threw her broomstick away and stomped off into the lockers to change. 

The entire team ran towards Ron and we lifted him up into the air.  McGonagall came down practically sobbing as she handed the Cup to Ron, who held it triumphantly in the air.

"Weasley is our King!  Weasley is our King!  He didn't let the Quaffle in!  Weasley is our King!"  The stadium shook with the new improved version of Ron's theme song. 

Once we were back in the Common Room, there was an unbelievably raucous party.  When I saw Harry I was so happy that I kissed him square on the lips, bowling him over as I ran into him.  Hermione clicked her tongue and looked surprisingly distracted.  Was she on O.W.L. thoughts?  I didn't think that O.W.L.'s were appropriate to be thinking about at a time like that.  I was rather disappointed in her.

Ron was the center of attention.  At first he was blushing as people flocked to him to congratulate him on his success but soon he was giving a lively reenactment of his performance.  Kirke kept coming over to me and slapping me on the shoulder and shouting that he "couldna done it without yaw!" 

I wished that Fred and George were there.  I knew that if anyone could improve a party, it was them and this was an occasion I was sure they would find significant. 

The party ended when McGonagall came in and told us all to go to bed.  Before Hermione and I headed up, she decided to tell me about something important.

"He's called Grawp."  She whispered.  "He's Hagrid's 'little' brother."

I couldn't imagine anything related to Hagrid being small.  Apparently Grawp was far from.

"Take care of him?"  I was petrified.

"If Hagrid has to leave."  She whispered.  "I hope more than ever that he doesn't.  Oh!  Why does he always need to make life more difficult?!  I mean, there was Aragog, Norbert, Buckbeak, and those damned blast-ended skrewts!"

I squeezed her shoulder.  "It'll be all right.  Just you see.  Come on, up to bed with you."   

_"Hm.  Hm."_

_"Bonsoir."  My heart thudded in my chest at sight of Voldemort.  "Comment t'allez vous?"_

_He slid over to me, his movements very reminiscent of a serpent.  "Still dating Potter?"_

_"Oui monsieur."  I looked at my nails, pretending not to notice his unwavering stare._

_"How is it you are so…confident?  You mystify me."  He leaned on his hand and watched me._

_"It's got to be the puppy chow."  I mumbled._

_"By the end of all of this, you won't be so cocky."_

_"We'll see."  I shrugged.  I didn't slide away, afraid any sudden movements might trigger him.  He came around behind me and started to stroke my hair.  I didn't stop him because I knew it would be futile.  After all, there were certainly worse things he could be doing.  At first I sat stiffly but slowly my muscles unwound.  It felt perversely good.  That was when I had to jerk away.  "Stop."  I commanded.  "Harry?"  I gasped.  Tom was no longer there, but Harry smiled back at me.  "What are you doing… here?"_

_"Dunno.  I just sort of turned up.  Is this what you see every night?"  He looked around.  "Your dreams are kind of dull, aren't they?"_

_"Yeah…."  A terrifying thought occurred to me.  That wasn't Harry but Tom masquerading as him to make me feel uncomfortable.  "Yeah it is.  I think I'm going to go now.  I'll meet you in the Common Room."_

_"Why leave?  I like it here."  _

_"Tom, stop imitating him.  It's disgusting."  I turned away.  _

_"I thought you might like me better as young Potter."  He hissed in my ear.  _

_"I like you neither way, Mr. Riddle."  I turned and was confronted with a tall, pale man with red irises.  His pupils were those of a cat and his fingers were like albino spiders.  "Ew."  I said solemnly. _

_He smiled.  "Do you see what I have become, Favian?"_

_"You look like the inner-you.  I didn't know that the inside could be revealed on the outside."_

_"We learn something new all the time.  But you see," he continued, "this is what I truly am.  I don't like it much more than you except for the power.  I lack one important thing to consummate my power with you."_

_"So you're not really a man anymore?"_

_"I suppose you could say that."  He smiled and began to change back into Tom.  "You might say it's lucky that I can possess this body for hours at a time."_

"Favian!  Wake up!"_  Hermione called distantly._

_"Yup.  Got to go.  Au revoir."_

"You speak French in your sleep."  Hermione said at breakfast.

"Do I?  That was just last night."  I spooned some bland oatmeal into my mouth. 

Hermione pushed a chunk of hair out of her face and took a bite of toast.  "How do you stand it?"

"What?  French?  It's a good language."

"No, your dreams."

"Who said I stand in them?"  I asked, dodging the question.

"You know what I mean."

"Well, Hermione, as I don't seem to have a thousand options queuing up to rescue me, I guess I just have to deal."

Ron sat down next to me, beaming as he was ready to fill the day with his proud joy. 

It was sometime after Hermione and Harry had to break the Grawp news to Ron that Harry and I went off on our own.  Hermione for the first time didn't protest but simply smiled at me.  Ron was looking from Hermione to Harry to me very quickly as though he was waiting for someone to explode.  Harry slid out of the portrait hole and waited for me, giving me a hand.

"Such a gentleman!"  The Fat Lady crooned. 

We walked down the corridor together, heading for the grounds.  I held his hand without saying a word but I was filled with a sudden, deep contentment.  Pansy Parkinson and her gang of Slytherin girls passed us by.  She shot me a dirty look.

"So, it's Potty and the slut."  She cackled.  Her awful laugh was backed up by a cacophony of her friends, all squealing in delight.

I smiled serenely at her and continued.  She turned very red.  After all, what does one say to a smile?  I said nothing and continued out the front doors with Harry in hand.  We wandered down to a secluded area by the lake surrounded by willows.  None of those were the Whomping Willow, which would not exactly constitute as a romantic spot.

I slid down against a tree and Harry knelt to sit with me.  The sky was a cloudless blue and there were cries of laughing students in the Quidditch pitch playing on their brooms.  A lot of students were inside studying, but I hardly thought that would be a just reward for winning the Cup.  I leaned my head back against the tree and closed my eyes, a smile engraved on my face. 

_I'm never so content as when I am with you,_ I thought.

I looked at Harry.  He was lying on his back staring at the sky.  There were lines of worry on his forehead.  I had never worried so much in my life as I had that year.  But I didn't want to think about it just then.  I crawled over to Harry and looked at his face more closely.  I removed his glasses and kissed each of his eyelids.  He reached up and grabbed my head.  I rolled onto the ground next to him and kissed his lips.

He brushed my hair away from my face and kissed me back.  Running my fingers through his hair, I held him close to me.  It was as though I was trying to keep him forever, though eventually we would have to part.  I began to see white behind my eyelids.  My eyes shot suddenly open and I pulled away. 

"What?  What is it?"  Harry asked, looking shocked.

"I saw… white.  Lot's of white."  I shook my head.  "Sorry.  I just thought Voldemort was coming again."  I felt bile rise in my throat as I remembered what he had done to me.  There was a sharp pain in my gut.  I cried out.

Harry took my hands in his and squeezed, looking furiously worried. 

_"You are mine!"_

I made a noise of protest and withdrew my hands to cover my ears.

_"You are mine!"  The voice hissed most viciously and cried out in aggravation._

_My bruises… oh the bruises were being darkened._

"Favian, come back."  Harry held my chin firmly in his hands.  "Favian!"

I gasped and my eyes shot open. 

"Oh gods, Harry!"  I fell forward, crying into his shoulder.  "When will it end?  When _will it end?!_"

"Favian, we are going to kill him.  I promise he will pay for your suffering."

"And yours," I looked up at him. 

Harry had a grim line set on his forehead. 

"You want to know something funny?"  I couldn't bear to see his face so grave.  Harry tilted his head at me.  "Old Voldey lacks the important reproductive organ that most males treasure."

Harry's eyes widened.

"That's why he needs to become Tom again."  I wiggled my eyebrows.

Harry started laughing and hardly could breathe. 


	9. Time's Up

(Psycho lady person: I do know the meaning of soon, as evidence of this.  Be prepared for an evil cliffhanger.)

June was here, and though for many students that meant summer break, the fifth years were spazzing out with frequent studying for the accursed O.W.L.s.  I was terrified more than most of the fifth years because my score on these would absolutely affect how many years I remained in school.  They could move on.  These were like my practice O.W.L.s.  If I did well, then yay, I could move on.  If not, then it was back to basics for Ms. Fynn. 

Hermione was studying twenty-four/seven and paused only while she showered, but from next to her in the stall I could hear her reciting the order of Jupiter's moons or the order in which wars and battles had occurred.  I became accustomed to sleeping with my notes in my bed, in case I woke up from a nightmare about forgetting some crucial part of a spell.  Hermione and I had a bridge of notes sprawled between our beds.  Some nights we would awaken simultaneously and begin rifling through what we had. 

We didn't bother counting how many hours we spent cramming knowledge into our skulls, unlike Hufflepuff prefect, Ernie Macmillan, who made a habit of boasting eight to nine hours a day.  Harry and Ron looked sick as Ernie recited all of the studying he had been doing.  Hermione paid no mind as she was engrossed in a chapter of _A History of Magic_.  I looked away from the whole thing and discreetly charmed a stone to dance across the pathway.  Neville, who had gray rings underneath his eyes, watched the stone with a sort of mesmerized stare.  I noticed that Lavender and Parvati weren't quite as dressed up as they usually were.  There had been nights that they had woken up, with Eloise too, and come over to Hermione's and my virtual mountain of books and notes. 

"A week," I breathed nervously, twiddling my fingers.  "I wish I'd started studying sooner.  Like last year.  Or before I even came to Hogwarts."  My eyes filled with tears of frustration.

"You'll do fine, Favian."  Eloise licked her finger and turned the page in _A Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_ distractedly.  "You made it to fifth year faster than any of the rest of us did.  You're a freaking genius."

Hermione was mumbling something about the use of gold in potion-making.  Parvati was writing a spell down on a piece of parchment multiple times and Lavender snoozed on top of a book. 

During this intensive studying time, my dreams had pretty much settled into terror of O.W.L.s and nothing else.  Voldemort remained blissfully outside of my thoughts.  Hermione and Ron had prefect duties besides their extensive study schedules.  Ron didn't take his quite as seriously as Hermione did, but even so he had extra work.

I was walking down the corridors with Hermione one day when we overheard Harold Dingle trying to sell "powdered dragon claw" to a fifth year.  Hermione immediately strode over and demanded he hand it over.  He protested originally, saying she was cheating him out of a good deal, but gave it over in the end.

"Using it yourself, eh?"  I asked jokingly.

"This stuff?"  Hermione looked more closely at it.  "Not in a million years.  It's dried doxy droppings." 

"Ooh, so it truly is a black market."  I shook my head.  I had been tempted by "potions" to increase my brain activities during the exam in order to enhance my exam performance, but had been strongly reminded of the drug trade in the United States.  You never really know what you get unless you're making it yourself. 

In Transfiguration we got our examination schedules and further details on the procedure for O.W.L.s. 

"As you can see," Professor McGonagall said as we copied down the examination times and dates from the blackboard, "your O.W.L.s are spread over two successive weeks.  You will sit the theory exams in the mornings and the practice in the afternoons.  Your practical Astronomy examination will, of course, take place at night.

"Now, I must warn you that the most stringent Anti-Cheating Charms have been applied to your examination papers.  Auto-Answer Quills are banned from the examination hall, as are Remembralls, Detachable Cribbing Cuffs, and Self-Correcting Ink.  Every year, I am afraid to say, seems to harbor at least one student who thinks that he or she can get around the Wizarding Examinations Authority's rules."  She seemed to be looking directly at the boys while she said this.  "Our new- headmistress- has asked the Heads of House to tell their students that cheating will be punished most severely- because, of course, your examination results will reflect upon the headmistress's new regime at the school…."  McGonagall sighed and her nostrils flared.  "However, that is no reason not to do your very best.  You have your own futures to think about."

Hermione's hand went into the air.  "Please, Professor.  When will we find out our results?"

"An owl will be sent to you some time in July," the teacher responded.

_Great, a delayed response,_ I thought bitterly.  During that time I would only be stressed even more, remembering every mistake I made or didn't make, but was unsure of.

"Excellent," Dean said in an audible whisper, "so we don't have to worry about it till the holidays…."

More studying commenced with the fifth years in the common room.  Everyone worked together without really talking as friends but as coworkers.  Harry quizzed an irritable Hermione on Charms, Ron mouthed his Charms notes to himself, fingers wedged in his ears.  Lavender and Parvati raced pencils.  Seamus was lying flat on the floor, reciting the definition of a Substantive Charm while Dean checked in his book.  Eloise and I were having shoe dance competitions. 

Dinner was the most silent thing I had endured at the school in awhile.  Ron and Harry shoved food into their mouths as though it would be their last meals, Hermione kept diving under the table to check her notes, but I just sort of picked at my food, wondering how it would sit with my churning stomach.

"You should eat," Ron said with a full mouth.  "You'll never get any sleep on an empty stomach and you'll fail the written Charms."

"Ugh," was all I could manage.

Hermione dropped her fork with a clatter to her plate.

"Oh, my goodness," she whispered, staring into the entrance hall.  "Is that them?  Is that the examiners?"

Umbridge stood nervously with a rather small group of elderly witches and wizards in the entrance hall.

"That's it, stomach is heaving," I muttered.

"Shall we go and have a closer look?"  Ron asked.

Hermione, Harry and I nodded and we got up and walked towards the entrance hall, slowing down as we neared the examiners.  We walked slowly by and inspected each of them in turn.  An old hunched woman with a wildly wrinkly face was speaking loudly to Professor Umbridge as we passed.

"Journey was fine, journey was fine, we've made it plenty of times before!" She sounded impatient.  "Now, I haven't heard from Dumbledore lately!"  She looked around as though expecting he might pop out of a chandelier.  "No idea where he is, I suppose?"

"None at all," Umbridge looked furiously at Harry, Ron, Hermione and me as we stood around the foot of the stairs.  Ron was fiddling with his shoelace.  "But I daresay the Ministry of Magic will track him down soon enough…."

"I doubt it.  Not if Dumbledore doesn't want to be found!"  The old woman shouted.  "I should know…. Examined him personally in Transfiguration and Charms when he did N.E.W.T.s….  Did things with a wand I'd never seen before…."

"Yes…well…." 

The four of us walked up the stairs.  I feigned yawning and stretched widely. 

Umbridge continued.  "I daresay you'd like a cup of tea after your journey…."  Umbridge simpered, shooting a glance at the four of us.  We continued more quickly up the stairs after they left.  Hermione and Ron didn't speak at all but trudged up more quickly, groaning wordlessly.  Harry took my hand and sighed. 

"Long time no see," he commented blandly.

"Oh I am terrified," I explained.

"Me too," he agreed.

I had a tough time sleeping that night.  Tougher than I'd imagined I would.  I had a bizarre dream in which I charmed absolutely everything that I saw, and then the old lady popped out of the ground and told me I was Dumbledore's favorite chandelier. 

Breakfast was even more silent than dinner had been.  Poor Neville was a trembling mess.  It made me feel distinctly worse to realize he, who had been there all five years, was more terrified than I.  Oh, what would the future bring?  After breakfast, the fifth years and seventh years, who were taking N.E.W.T.s, sort of bumbled pointlessly around the entrance hall until nine-thirty, when exams were about to begin. 

The fifth years were called into the great hall by class.  The four house tables had been removed and replaced by many one-person desks, which all faced the staff-table end, where McGonagall stood watching them.  Once all of the students were settled in their sets, she said: "You may begin," and turned over an enormous hourglass which sat perched on a desk next to her.  Next to the hourglass were spare rolls of parchment, quills, and ink bottles, which made me feel slightly better.

I turned the paper over, expecting the question to be something to do with something I'd never learned. 

"_Wingardium__ Leviosa._"  I remembered Hermione saying, and I felt myself relax.

I was shaking slightly as I left, but felt as though I had done a reasonable job.  Hermione had to kill me by asking how we had all done.  Ron put her in her place though.

"Hermione, we've been through this before… we're not going through every exam afterward, it's bad enough doing them once, ye oh batty one."

After lunch, in which I did manage to stomach quite a bit, the fifth years went into the small chamber beside the great hall to wait for our practical exam.  We were called forward in alphabetical order, meaning I went before Hermione, Ron and Harry.  Professor Flitwick ushered me in.

"Professor Marchbanks, over there."  Flitwick directed me to the hunched old woman who had been loud the day before.  She sat behind a small table, a quill and paper resting on it.

"Miss Fynn?"  She said surprisingly softly.  "How are you feeling?  Nervous?  Good."  She didn't smile.  "It helps.  Now, levitate this wine glass for me."

"_Wingardium__ Leviosa,_" it floated into the air quite nicely for me.  I made it float higher and then lower and back up again.  She had me keep it up there for awhile.  I almost forgot what I was doing and started making it do a sort of cha-cha.  I hummed absent-mindedly to myself.

"Good."

I jumped, but kept the wine glass suspended. 

"You can put it down on my desk, if you'd be so kind." 

It was a bit of a rocky landing, but it seemed to be alright. 

She had me change the color of a stuffed animal and summon it to me afterward.  I felt amazing relief afterwards and left.  I fell asleep waiting for my friends at the exit, leaning my head on my knees.  Hermione woke me up, a smile broad upon her face. 

"I trust you did well," I said softly. 

She nodded. 

"Well, I think I did anyway," she said eagerly, "how about you?"

"Pretty well, I think."  I shrugged, yawning again.

After dinner the four of us went straight to studying intensely for Transfiguration.  And so went the week, studying hazard after studying hazard.  My brain felt wont to explode.  I don't know how it managed to contain all it did.  Memories seemed to spew out in light of the questions and I didn't have any trouble, though all of the writing wound up feeling like vomiting in a way.  Friday should have been my day off, but the Runes teacher, who had grown rather fond of me in her own weird way, had told me to give it a go.  McGonagall reminded me that I needed an O.W.L. in Ancient Runes for the job I wanted.  Besides, it would be good practice even if I didn't do well.

Hermione was up all night reciting runes to me.  I thought that I truly would have a Technicolor yawn before the night was up.  I knew some of the runes from years ago, so those didn't worry me.  It was the ones with slightly different definitions.  On the bright side, that exam was only written, nothing performance-wise.  It was a bunch of translations.  _Geofu_ was pretty easy, meaning "gift."  _Peorth_ gave me a run for my money.  I really had to think it through and I finally skipped it and moved on.  _Ing_, which meant fertility, reminded me of _peorth's_ meaning.  I knew _peorth_ wasn't penis, as I had originally been told by some book or another, but actually meant sort of a tool in getting what was needed.  I wrote something similar down, figuring that it showed I had the basic idea.  Overall, I felt pretty good about that one. 

Hermione, on the other hand, left in a foul mood.  I had watched her face move from a bland expression to a frown as though she had just remembered something.

"I screwed them up!"  She moaned to me.

"Not all of them."  I shook my head.  "That's one out of a hundred.  You'll still have somewhere in the nineties, no doubt."

She mouthed wordlessly in aggravation, but before she could find words to fill her mouth with, we had passed Umbridge's office and we shocked by a screaming Umbridge.

"…NIFFLER IN MY OFFICE!  IT TRIED TO BITE MY BLOODY LEG OFF!  THAT STUPID GAMEKEEPER!  I'll bet… oooooh!"  She was furious by the sound of it. 

Hermione and I exchanged a dark glance and hurried back to our House.

Hermione's mood grew steadily worse and by the time we entered the portrait hole, I could tell she was ready to lash out at someone.  Hey, why not Harry and Ron?

After she had vented, she stormed up to the girls' dormitory, slamming the door behind her.

"Such a lovely, sweet-tempered girl," Ron said, very quietly.  He and Harry were playing chess, but Ron's pieces were beating the crap out of Harry's pieces.                      

"So, how did you do?"  Harry asked me.

"Oh, I think I passed at least."  I shrugged.  "But it's not as if these count if my grades suck."

"You're lucky," Ron said, prodding a piece to swoop in for the kill.  "Good game, mate."  He shook Harry's hand. 

"I'm not."  I disagreed.  "I don't want to start all over again.  I'll feel stupid."

"Eh, well, you're not.  You'll probably pass every O.W.L. with an Outstanding."  Ron shrugged, turning to look at her.

"I wish I could believe that."

Potions was the following Monday.  Hermione was in a bad temperament all during the weekend and Monday.  I felt pretty confident in Potions, though I felt my explanation of the effects of the Polyjuice Potion was a bit lacking.  Care of Magical Creatures was pretty easy, I thought.  I wasn't too nervous on that one because I was too tired to be.  The fire-crabs I was taking care of seemed to like me, which was a surprise.  The examiner, Professor Tofty, asked me how many of the classes I had gone to.  I told him that I'd gone to most this year, and that Hagrid was an excellent teacher.  I felt my heart lift when he mumbled "apparently so."  I think Hagrid heard me, because his face crinkled into a smile.

Wednesday morning was the Astronomy practical.  I nearly cried after I finished it, remembering specific stars based on what my father had told me.  My mind warped back to his "astro-hut" and the hours we spent out there looking at the velvet sky.  I had to take Arithmancy that afternoon.  Hermione looked as though she was willing to kill for this grade.  I kept a good distance away from my homicide-capable companion.  I couldn't believe how many times the exam brought up the Pythagorean Theorem and Quadratic Formula.  I felt like a genius by the end of it.  I was pretty sure that I missed number twenty-seven, though, because it had something to do with a Switching Spell and the slope of a graph and how it applied to a map of Egypt.  I may have gotten half of it right, but I sincerely doubted that I'd get full credit. 

Hermione had cooled after that exam.  I smiled at her uncertainly and she returned the gesture kindly.  We ran to catch up with Ron and Harry. 

"We have just a bit of time to look over out star charts before dinner."  Hermione said to Ron and Harry, who nodded in agreement. 

It was eleven o'clock when the fifth years filed somberly to the top of the Astronomy Tower.  It was a beautiful and cloudless night.  A chill crept through my cloak and I shivered.  The grounds below were a silver sight, bathed in the clear moonlight.  We all set up our telescopes and once Professor Marchbanks gave the word, we began to fill in the blank star charts we had been given.

I wasn't having too much trouble with this.  It was nearly identical to the star chart I had last studied.  A few times I went and checked and answer before filling it in, lest I was thinking of the next star over.  Night was passing slowly.  I had finished my star chart a few minutes after an hour was up, and was in the midst of checking the ones I had filled in without checking, which were circled lightly as a reminder. 

The lights went off in the castle, one by one as students went off to bed.  I wished that I were in bed.  I shivered again in the chill of night.  I saw the front doors of the castle open and looked down curiously.  I adjusted my telescope and saw six elongated shadows moving over the brightly lit grass.  Once the doors shut, the land below became as dark as ever before.  I continued to watch curiously, and recognized the squat figure of Professor Umbridge, bouncing towards Hagrid's hut.

My heart caught in my throat as I got a vague idea of what was going on.  _There's nothing you can do.  Keep checking your star chart._  But I couldn't convince myself to look away.  The six figures went to Hagrid's hut and there was a muffled bark.  Fang.  The six figures entered Hagrid's hut and the door closed. 

There was a roar soon from Hagrid's cabin and several students stopped working to look curiously at what was going on.

Professor Tofty coughed. 

"Try and concentrate, now, boys and girls," he encouraged softly.

I looked to my right and saw Hermione and Harry staring intently at Hagrid's hut. 

"Ahem- twenty minutes to go."

I shook my head and returned hastily to my star chart.  I looked at a star and thought for a moment that I had mislabeled Vega, but I hadn't.  My head felt foggy this late at night. 

There was a loud BANG from the grounds.  There were cries of pain as many students poked themselves in the face with the ends of their telescopes.  I looked quickly below.  Hagrid's door was open, and I could see quite clearly that he was roaring and shaking his fists angrily, surrounded by six people, all of whom were trying to Stun him.

"No!"  Hermione cried.

"My dear!"  Professor Tofty sounded offended.  "This is an examination!"

Nobody cared anymore.  I considered flying down to the rescue, but thought better of it.  Hagrid, who was part-giant, seemed to be having no trouble fighting off the Stun-Spells. 

"Be reasonable, Hagrid!"  A man yelled.

"Reasonable be damned, yeh won' take me like this, Dawlish!"  Hagrid growled.

I watched the tiny Fang trying to protect Hagrid by jumping on the surrounding wizards, but was finally hit by a Stunning Spell.  Hagrid howled in fury, lifted the stunner bodily from the ground, and threw him.  I gasped sharply.  The man flew over ten feet and did not get up again. 

"Look!"  Parvati squealed.  She was leaning over the parapet and pointing to the foot of the castle where the front doors seemed to have opened again.  Someone else was coming outside.

"Now, really!"  Professor Tofty began anxiously.  "Only sixteen minutes left, you know!"

Nobody cared. 

"How dare you!"  The figure shouted as she ran.  "How _dare_ you!"

"It's McGonagall!"  Hermione whispered unnecessarily.

"Leave him alone!  _Alone_, I say!"  Professor McGonagall shouted through the darkness.  "On what grounds are you attacking him?  He has done nothing, nothing to warrant such-"

All of the girls screamed.  Four Stunners had shot McGonagall.  She was lifted off of her feet, glowing red momentarily, she landed hard on her back and was stock-still.  I was outraged beyond words.

"Galloping gargoyles!"  Professor Tofty had finally forgotten the exam.  "Not so much as a warning!  Outrageous behavior!"

"COWARDS!"  Hagrid bellowed.  "RUDDY COWARDS!  HAVE SOME O' THAT!  AN' THAT!"

Hagrid punched at his closest attackers and they fell, out cold.  _Rightly so!_  Hagrid bent over and picked up Fang. 

"Get him, get him!"  Umbridge screamed.  Her last helper seemed very reluctant to even go near Hagrid.  He backed up until he tripped and fell over.  Hagrid had turned and was running as fast as he could with Fang over his neck.  Umbridge tried once more to Stun him, but missed. 

Nobody spoke for a full minute, all gaping at the scene below.  Finally, Professor Tofty spoke slowly and softly.  "Um… five minutes to go, everybody…."

The end of the exam came and I shoved my telescope quickly into my bag, barely noticing what I was doing.  Nobody was going to bed.  Everyone was speaking furiously and loudly. 

"That evil woman!"  Hermione gasped, having difficulties with her articulation due to rage.  "Trying to sneak up on Hagrid in the dead of night!"

"She clearly wanted to avoid another scene like Trelawney's," Ernie Macmillan had joined us. 

"Hagrid did well, didn't he?"  Ron looked alarmed.  "How come all the spells bounced off of him?"

"He's part-giant."  I finally spoke. 

"Yes, it's very difficult to Stun a giant….  But poor Professor McGonagall!  Four stunners straight in the chest, and she's not exactly young, is she?"

"Dreadful, dreadful," Ernie shook his head and I resisted a sudden urge to slap him.  "Well, I'm off to bed…. 'Night all…."

"What if she's… dead?"  I whispered.

Nobody responded to this, the idea being to grave to ponder aloud. 

"I can't believe that we've lost Dumbledore and Hagrid."  Hermione said softly.

We returned to the common room, which was all awake.  The portrait of the Fat Lady asked what was going on, and none of us had the patience to explain.  The room discussed the events quickly and I was glad to hear that McGonagall had been taken to the Hospital Wing, or at least inside.  After that, we discussed various ways to kill Umbridge.  I personally liked Ron's idea of feeding her to a box of starved Blast-Ended Screwts.  It was four o'clock in the morning before the common room cleared.

I fell asleep and for the first time that week, a recurrent dream-hell was there.

_"Have you missed me, my dear?"  Tom held my upper arm roughly._

_"Like a sharp stick in the eye."  I snapped, wrenching my arm out of his grip.  _

_His eyes flashed, but it was in an amused sort of a way.  He grabbed my head and shoved his face towards mine.  I could feel his hot breath on my face.  I tried to turn away but it was a futile effort.  He shoved his lips roughly against mine.  My hands clawed at his chin and I tried to shove him away.  His hands were suddenly on my forearms and he was staring directly into my eyes._

_"Just think, soon I will have you.  So soon that I can taste you."  _

_"You will never have me.  I would sooner give you my lifeless carcass."  I whispered.  _

_Tom's eyes became solemn.  "You would be a fool to attempt suicide."_

_"Would I?  Did you know that the majority of teenage girls who are raped kill themselves?"  _

_Tom gripped my arms more tightly, now looking furious._

_My heart sank.  Was suicide what I would have to do in order to stop him?  I knew in my heart that I would never kill myself.  Not unless he was right there and there was nothing else I could do.  Even then I'd have trouble with that.  _

_"No.  You won't."  He said, looking certain.  His face relaxed.  He took my hands and raised them above my head.  When he let go, they were still suspended.  I looked up and saw chains holding them up.  _

Crap._  I thought.  _

_"Now, I know that you are still a virgin," Tom began, "but has Potter left his mark on you?"_

_"Sadly, we don't have too much private time together."  I said, trying to sound casual, which of course was an utter failure, as my voice was tremulous._

_"But Favian, you and I have much private time together.  I make time for you."_

_"Aw, how sweet."  My voice was heavy with sarcasm.  _

_Tom cackled and his eyes turned red.  "How about I leave something for young Potter to ponder?"_

_"Only if it's your dead body."  I snarled._

_"I was thinking something more…."  He leaned forward and kissed my neck very hard.  He ran his hands over my body and I felt sick.  He was leaving a hickey.  Wonderful.  Then he unbuttoned my shirt and kissed my shoulder and then further down, leaving red hickeys all the way.  Then I began to hope he'd go further, so I could kick him in the face.  He stopped just before my naval and pulled out his wand._

_"Imperio!"  He hissed. _

_"What was that?"  I asked, feeling a slight tingling in my brain._

_"Ha, I suppose it's true about some spells not affecting the Aviata."  He sighed. "But I suppose it will be fun.  I know some of my Death Eaters like them feisty."_

_My lip curled in revolt.      _  

"Favian," Hermione woke me up, shaking me softly.  She was fully clothed.  My arms were still above my head and there were red marks where the chains had dug in.  I pulled them down quickly and gasped in pain. 

"Shaz that hurt!"  Tears welled in my eyes.

Hermione looked at me sympathetically.  "Did Tom come again last night?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't the worst experience we've ever shared."  I shrugged.  My arms still ached.  I touched the hickey on my neck unhappily.  "If it weren't so blasted hot, I'd wear a turtleneck.  So, what time is the exam today?  I forget."  I changed subjects hastily.

"Two.  We'd better get studying, or down to breakfast for you.  It's past eight."

"Crap," I jumped out of bed and landed in our notes, causing them to fly every which way.  "Oh, über crap!"  I didn't pause to sort them out but jumped around getting dressed hastily.  "You know what, screw breakfast.  I'm not hungry."  I said irritably.  I felt like I was going to burst into tears.

"No, come on, we need to fill you up."

I followed Hermione to breakfast, where the hall was filled with late-starters.  I sat down and piled my plate with sausages and toast.  Hermione had brought some notes and was reading aloud to me.  I scanned the room quickly and saw Malfoy reading a note.  He looked up at me, grinned, and then pocketed something. I finished my breakfast and Hermione returned to our common room.  

Before two o'clock, we had gone through as many notes as humanly possible and entered the Great Hall with the other fifth years.  A sense of relief flooded my system as I realized that this was to be my last examination.

I sat down and as soon as it was time to start, I flew through the questions, writing a brief outline on the side of each one before going back to answer fully.  My brief outline system, as recommended by Hermione, was very useful.  When I returned to a question, minor details leapt out at me from my memory and I was able to write very full reports.  I sped through my examination so quickly that I feared I had missed a question or five.  I hadn't, so I looked through and added whatever I could to lacking questions.  I saw most people either checking over their answers or staring hopelessly at the papers.  I felt better.  I looked over to Harry, but he had fallen asleep.  My eyes widened as he twitched and cried out. 

Professor Tofty assisted him out of the room.  Everyone in the examination hall was watching Harry warily.  At about five o'clock, Professor Tofty announced that the exam was over.  I rose quickly to look for Harry.  My bladder had other ideas and had me scrambling for a bathroom first.  A few moments later, I ran back out into the corridors, which were now rather sparse, and looked around for Harry.

The door to the grounds was slightly ajar and I found Harry leaning against the wall casually.  His hair was hanging in his face a bit, but looking quite smashing.  It was all I could do not to run and jump on him, kissing him dry.  I shook my head and remembered that I had been worried about him only seconds ago.

"Harry!"  I ran forward to meet him, and he smiled.  "What happened back there?"

"Bad dream," Harry shook his head, as though trying to clear the memory.

I laughed harshly.  "As if we don't get enough of those."

Harry looked to my neck and his eyebrows shot up.  "I didn't give you that, did I?"

I shook my head once I realized he was indicating the Tom-induced hickey.  "Voldemort," I waved the name away, "just trying to piss you off."

Harry frowned and looked quite angry.  His glasses, I noticed, looked slightly different.  A bit squarer around the frames, but I didn't mention anything.  My eyes were fogging over from tiredness anyway.

"Look, I want to show you a place on the grounds that I found."  Harry said, changing subjects.  He reached out for my hand, which I gave to him gladly.  He pulled me out into the grounds and walked slowly into the darkening outside.  The sun was lower in the sky and the sky was changing colors.

"It's a nice evening," I commented blandly, feeling an unusually awkward silence between us.  I looked at Hagrid's hut and felt a tinge of sorrow, wondering where he might be and whether Fang had recovered or not. 

"Yeah," he agreed lucidly.  "Favian?"

"Hm?"  I looked him square in the eye.  We had stopped right outside the Forbidden Forest.

"We're going to go a little ways in, if that's okay."

"Yeah, that's fine." 

He smiled and pulled me in after him.  After a succession of trees, there was a nice little clearing that gave a fantastic view into the evening sky.

"Wow," I sighed, "it's really lovely here."

"I thought you'd like it," Harry smiled in a way I'd never seen him smile before. 

"You just reminded me of someone… can't place it though."  I said to him.

Harry shrugged and took a seat on the ground, motioning that I should do the same.  I took a seat next to him and pressed my shoulder into his.  He wrapped his arm around me.

"It's been awhile since we've had time for this.  Thank God the exams are over."  I sighed.

"Mmhmm.  Not looking forward to those grades though."

"Haha, me neither," there was another silence. 

Harry turned to face me and he brushed my hickey with his thumb softly.  I leaned forward to kiss him softly.  I ran my fingers through his hair and he put his arms around my waist.  His hands moved slightly up, but I didn't really mind, as it was him.  He'd never kissed me quite like this before.  Maybe he was trying a new technique or something, but I had trouble adjusting to it at first.  He started nibbling my lower lip.  It reminded me strongly of my first kiss with Voldemort. 

"Stop," I said, breathing heavily. I pulled my face away.  "You're… different."  I frowned at him.  "What's going on?"

Harry frowned at me slightly.  "I don't know.  Maybe I'm just feeling a bit stressed, with all this weird stuff going on.  Then the O.W.L.s just ending."  He sounded slightly worried.  His eyes darted up towards the sky. 

I brought my hand up to his face and held him, looking in his eyes.

"It'll be all right in the end.  I promise."

Harry smiled, in that same weird way he'd done earlier.  "Do you honestly believe that?"

"Yes," I said confidently.  We sat there in another silence.  Minutes passed wordlessly.  I felt very awkward and finally broke the silence.  "Should we go and find Ron and Hermione?  I bet they're pretty worried about you too." 

There was a swooping noise from up above. 

"What was that?"  I asked, looking up and seeing nothing.

"Probably a bird or something," Harry said comfortably.  He looked absent-mindedly at his watch.  "Uh-oh," he smirked, "time is up."

"What?" 

His hair looked lighter at the ends.  It changed from jet black to white-blonde in a matter of seconds.  I jumped up, but so did he… whoever… _whatever_ he was.

"What's going on?!"  His face became pointier and his eyes changed from green to blue.  The swooping from above came again.  The boy whipped the glasses off and I saw at once who it was….  "Malfoy!"

"Very good, madam."  I heard a voice from behind.  I whipped around to see three masked figures on broomsticks landing.  I backed away, mouth ajar, unable to believe what was happening.  Malfoy grabbed me and disabled me from furthering my escape.  I writhed and managed to escape only to be grabbed by a masked figure.

"Nice work, Draco, get back up to the school."

"See you later, Father," Malfoy sneered at me.  "Shall I tell Potter?"  He mouthed to me. 

I started kicking violently.  A masked person shot ropes out of the end of his wand and bound my arms and legs.  Draco Malfoy touched his Gryffindor badge with a wand and it was instantly replaced by a Slytherin badge.  Malfoy ran off out of the Forbidden Forest.  Finally, I was able to scream. 

"It will do you no good, Favian Fynn."  My captor breathed in my ear.  "No one can hear you."

I stopped, deciding to save my throat for a better point.  "What's going on?  Who are you?"

"Death Eaters, Majesty."  A hooded man bowed low from the side.  "The Dark Lord requests your immediate presence."

My eyes widened dramatically and I wriggled around, refusing to hold still, refusing to slow… refusing to give up!

"Do you have your wand with you?"  My captor asked calmly.  I wouldn't answer; I saved all of my energy for fighting his grip.  "Fine then.  We shall see."  He threw me face down to the ground and sat on my back.  He dug through one pocket and then another and found what he sought.  "Good."  He lifted me back up and threw me haphazardly over his broomstick.  It was far from a comfortable position, but he seemed not to care.  He kicked off of the ground and we flew… flew away from the school… into the clouds… to my imminent doom.      


	10. In Passing

The three Death Eaters didn't speak a word the whole journey, which was insanely long and painful for me. Not only was I terrified beyond tears, but I was tied awkwardly to a broomstick. I thought my muscles would burst with pain. What was going to happen? Where would I end up? Why had I not listened to my instincts about Harry not being Harry? It was all over.

I was so frightened that I thought I might vomit. Voldemort had dream-raped me once, that was bad enough, but for real it would have greater consequences than a broken foot and a couple of bad bruises and cuts. And what was worse, he had mentioned his Death Eaters….

I really did vomit at this thought. It flew down through the air and I realized it might hit someone. That would be really disgusting. Hardly a laughing moment, a rough sort of guffaw burst through my dry lips. I started shaking spasmodically and felt my stomach clench again. I wondered faintly if I was going into shock….

Harry was furious, standing there by the Forbidden Forest with Neville, Ginny, Hermione, Luna and Ron. How much longer did Sirius have? And what had Malfoy been hinting at back in Umbridge's office?

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway," Harry said through gritted teeth, "because we still don't know how to get there."

"I thought we'd settled that?" Luna said maddeningly. "We're flying!"

"Look," said Ron, barely containing his rage. "You might be able to fly without a broomstick, but the rest of us can't sprout wings whenever we-"

"That's it!" Hermione cried out, no longer looking pale as death. "The Aviata spell! Favian taught it to me!"

"Favian… oh gods, where is she?" Harry asked, remembering suddenly that he hadn't seen her after he had left the exam.

"Malfoy… said something about her… but I figured that was just him being a jerk." Ron said slowly.

"He said she's grown wings and flown away," Luna said dreamily.

"WHAT?! AND NOBODY SAID ANYTHING!?" Harry was belligerent.

"Oh my God. I'll bet she's with V-Voldemort." Hermione whispered.

"Hermione, what's that spell?"

I was somewhere I had never before seen. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the dim light. My arms and feet were tied behind me and I was in an uncomfortable arc on the floor. I looked around the room and saw a fireplace crackling with a fire. The hearth rug I was lying on was unpleasantly warm. My forehead was beaded with sweat. I craned my neck to look behind me and I saw a large chair. Nobody sat in it at the moment, but I could easily imagine an arrogant man watching the fireplace while his servants did his bidding. Above the fireplace was a portrait of a dark-haired man, his apparent wife and son. His son looked somewhat like Tom, but a little less handsome. I shivered. I felt bile rising in my throat, but I had no more stomach contents to heave. My arms and legs began to shake again. I could barely move in any direction, being tied as I was. I moaned softly, and my eyes filled with tears.

I heard clumsy footsteps approach me hastily.

"Are you awake?" A squeaky man's voice asked. I looked up and saw a short, saggy man with watery blue eyes looking down at me nervously.

I didn't speak, terrified beyond speech.

"All right," he bent over, grabbed my shoulders with a weird silver hand and leaned me up against the chair.

"Ah!" I cried out in pain. There was a throbbing stabbing sensation in my chest.

"What's wrong?" He looked terrified.

"I… my arms…." I thought very quickly.

"Here," he took the ropes off quickly. I flexed my arms and rubbed my wrists. "Better?"

"Yeah… a bit."

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"Yes," I lied. "Who are you?"

"Sc- Wormtail."

"Oh," Peter Pettigrew.

"What do you want to eat?" He inquired, twisting his fingers together.

"Anything, where's Voldemort?"

Peter flinched at the sound of his master's name.

"I do not know where the Dark Lord is," he whispered. "I'll go and get some food from the kitchen for you."

I nodded and leaned my head back against the cushion until he left. After he was gone, I pulled my wand quickly out of my pocket and undid the bonds on my ankles. I stood wobbly to my feet. My legs were like jelly. I grasped my wand tightly and looked out of a window to get some idea of where I was. I was in a house above a sleeping town. I looked for a way to open the window. Finally, I decided the only way I was getting out was by breaking the window. I looked around for something to smash it with.

Pettigrew had returned. He dropped the plate of crackers he had brought.

"What are you doing?" He pulled out his wand and spat a curse at me, but I deflected it quickly. It disarmed him. His wand flew away from him. I ran over to him and pressed my own wand up to his throat.

"I don't want to kill you," I said, gritting my teeth, "though you doubtlessly deserve it, but it's not my nature. Where the hell are we?"

He squeaked.

"ANSWER ME!" I shouted, pressing my wand deeper into his neck.

"Twenty miles from London." He squeaked. "In England."

"Good, now what direction would I have to go to get there?"

"W-West." He spluttered.

"What's this? Giving away answers so easily, Wormtail?" A whisper came from behind me. Cold fingers of dread trailed down my spine. I held onto Wormtail and forced him in front of me as I faced the Dark Lord. "Hello, Favian Fynn Clark." His thin, pale lips articulated my name. His eyes were red as blood and the pupils were shaped like those of a cat.

"Tom Marvolo Riddle." I acknowledged him, holding Wormtail still tighter and pressing my wand into his back.

He smiled coolly and looked into my eyes intently. "I told you I would have you soon."

"Yes, you have me now, but I won't be staying," I growled with a frightened tinge coloring my voice.

Voldemort brought out his wand.

"Try anything and your helper dies." I threatened.

Voldemort laughed. It was a high-pitched, cruel sound. His head tossed back and his shoulders heaved.

"I'm not joking!" I shouted furiously.

"You think that I honestly care whether or not this worm lives or dies?" He cackled. "There are more important things than the life of a traitor."

Wormtail whimpered. I suddenly felt slightly sympathetic for him, but I didn't loosen my grip. Voldemort raised his wand and waved it without speaking. Wormtail flew from my grip and into a wall. I flinched as he fell unconscious to the floor. I kept my wand up but started backing up in terror. Voldemort advanced on me in fascination. I did the only thing I could think of: raised my wand to my own throat.

"Come any closer and so help me I will kill myself!" I screamed. Voldemort froze. Tears welled in my eyes. I would do it. He would not win. I would not be broken. His eyes widened and I saw true fear in them.

Voldemort lowered his wand, but that did not lessen my resolve any. In fact, I pressed my wand harder to my throat. I heard a faint singing coming from the wand. I didn't understand. It was as though it was trying to calm me down.

"What would be gained by your death?" Voldemort asked, keeping his distance.

"I-." The wand seemed to be talking to me now. "Stop it!" I shouted, scrunching my eyes shut. The voices wouldn't stop! What was he doing?

"_Expelliarmus_!" Voldemort screeched. I opened my eyes as my wand flew into his hand. He dropped it like a hot potato as it burned his white flesh. He looked back at me, eyes slit. "You have tried too many foolish things. You are not cautious enough with your life."

I backed away as he came forward and felt the armchair behind my legs. I collapsed into it and saw him towering over me. The sense of déjà vu that wracked my brain was too much. I somersaulted backwards to my feet, knees shaking perfidiously. Voldemort disappeared and reappeared behind me, long fingers reaching for my neck. I ducked but fell to the floor.

_No!_

"Yes," Voldemort hissed. He was about to speak again but his eyes grew pensive. "You will wait for my return. _Stupefy!_"

I fell to the floor, head pounding, surrounded by black.

It could have been five minutes for all I knew, but when I awoke, my head cried out for any form of painkiller possible. I curled into a ball on the floor but found that also hurt.

"Ah!" Looking down I saw that… that… my legs! They had been broken! Wormtail whimpered in a corner, holding a bump on his skull, rocking back and forth.

"Please, James, make him stop! Don't let him keep hurting me…." Wormtail moaned to invisible friends.

This had to be my chance to escape. Voldemort was gone, Wormtail was delirious, but I was wounded gravely. I could barely move for pain. Gritting my teeth solidly, I looked around the armchair to see that my wand was still lying on the floor. It was only about ten feet away. Feet turn to miles when your legs are broken, however. I held my breath and stuck my arms out as far as they would go. Pain! Pain! Ah! My legs screamed as I dragged myself as far as I could, using my hips as support to move, which in turn moved my legs. I collapsed and breathed noisily on the floor. I nodded determinedly to myself and moved again.

I made a strange gulping noise as I restrained my agony from emerging through my mouth. Tears streaked freely down my face. My nose began to leak. Five feet away… that was all. I could make that. I was dizzy, so dizzy. Again I vomited.

"No," I moaned. It was all liquid but the smell was revolting. I reached uselessly for my wand. I dragged myself again. My legs flinched horribly and I nearly screamed. My whole body shuddered. My wand was so close… my fingers nearly brushed it. I looked behind me to see that Wormtail was still rocking back and forth. I imagined trying to stand and was horrified by the thought of bones grinding into one another and possibly bursting through my flesh.

_I have to get my wand… I might die if I wait any longer…._

I yanked myself one last time towards my objective and finally felt the wand in my palm. I pointed it at myself and cried: "AVIATAS!" I shot into the air. I expected my legs to pull down or something, to ache and drag towards the earth, but they seemed to float just as easily as the rest of me. I nearly laughed in relief but instead directed my wand towards the window and commanded it to shatter. Looking one last time into the room, I flew outside and hopefully towards what was Hogwarts.

Outside the night was windy. It began to rain as soon as I emerged. My hair clung to my neck wetly soon afterwards. What if Voldemort met me out there? The pain I could imagine was horrific! My legs ached dully as I floated above the town. Being dressed in black, I assumed that no one below would be able to discern me from the night sky. I needed some medical care, quickly. How would I get back to Hogwarts? The Aviata spell only lasted for an hour or two. I had never been able to fly any longer than that when I was experimenting, and that was under good conditions. This night I was dizzy, broken, and terrified. I had to pull through.

_Please, please help me_, I prayed to no one. I looked at my legs again and heaved. I began to sink. _NO!_ I rose again. _No…._ My jaw became lax and I began to sink.

"_Aviatas…_" I cried feebly, pointing at myself again. A burst of energy singed my nerves and I shot further up into the air. With my wand, I pointed ahead of me and cried with as much conviction as I could muster, "HOGWARTS!" For the first time I didn't have to guide myself. I flew wildly through the air, rain and wind pummeling my uniform and face. It was merely seconds before I could see the beautiful castle grounds. But the spell was petering out. My energy seemed to be reaching its ends. There was no third wind to catch.

"Hope…."

I felt like Snow White in _Happily Ever After_ as she reached for the door of the Seven Dwarfettes, exhausted, hopeful, but there was nothing left inside of me but pain. Like a leaf, I drifted down to the grounds and landed with a soft thud upon the grass and passed out for the third time that day.

I woke up, still lying on the grounds. The sun was rising. Somehow I had survived. With my legs both being broken, I should have died from blood-loss. But I hadn't.

_Ah, but Tom wouldn't have wanted to kill you. He did what he had to. _Someway he must have avoided breaking any of my veins, just my bones. I laughed as I thought of everything that had happened. Staring at the blood-red sky brought back the beginning of the year, me, wandering hopelessly through the forest all the way to this castle. Voldemort had done this to me. Then he tore me away and I went right back to where he had led me the first time. And now I lie there alone on the lawns. Birds began to chirp as the sun went further and further up into the heavens. My uniform had dried out. I couldn't move a bit. My body hurt far too much. I was about to give up on life right then and there. If I died, so be it! I was sick of this stupid world anyway! Nobody cared about me as anything but… but….

"The Aviata, hah!" I scoffed. I started coughing. My legs and stomach spasmed forcefully. My eyes began to droop again to squash the tears that had brimmed my eyelids. I fell asleep. The sun on my face was warm and pleasant as it woke me up.

"Favian!" I heard someone cry out. "Oh my God! Somebody get Madam Pomfrey!"

"What's going on?" Someone else shouted. Student voices swarmed the grounds. I soon opened my eyes and saw a bunch of students surrounding me.

"Favian! Oh my God! What's happened?" Someone knelt down next to me. Kirke.

"Who is that? Favian Fynn?"

"Yeah!"

"Is she dead?"

"No, her eyes just opened."

"Why is she out here?"

"Dunno, I heard she was kidnapped by You-Know-Who,"

"That's stupid,"

"The Slytherins were talking about it all today."

"Somebody get the nurse!"

"Somebody get Harry!"

"Somebody get Dumbledore!"

The crowd suddenly fell silent and split apart to admit a man with a grave face. Professor Dumbledore arrived looking as though somebody had stolen his vitality. He knelt down next to me and felt my pulse.

"Poppy," he muttered, "summon a stretcher for this girl."

Madam Pomfrey soon hovered above me summoning a stretcher quickly and getting me on top of it. Black dots flashed before my eyes and my world spun before me.

_How cliché, I'm going to…._ Again I passed out.

(A.N: I'll update maybe soon. I should. Sorry she passed out so much. According to my dad the doctor, she should be dead or blacking out a lot, so Whaddya know.)


	11. Perhaps it will end

(A/N: Two more chapters. This one's kind of short. I'll write the next one tonight probably. Thanks for sticking with me, throughout my turtle-slow updates. Hehe.)

No one came to visit me in my hospital bed at all. Maybe it was Madam Pomfrey's fault or maybe nobody wanted to see me. It's amazing how many tears the human body is capable of producing. Really, it is. I sank in and out of sleep like a submarine surfacing and submerging in the ocean. My legs were fine by the next morning but apparently the spell had been a strange one and my body needed time to recuperate. I was kept in near-isolation except for a conversation with Dumbledore and Pomfrey's daily check-ups. However, I discovered soon after my release that there were others in the hospital wing besides me. Hermione and Ron had been injured pretty badly during a fight that Dumbledore told me about.

Sirius was dead.

Oh my gods, Sirius was dead.

Nothing was all right anymore, everything was wrong. The hallways were full of whispers and worries, gossip and gasps; it was a dangerous place to roam. I found Harry by the lake, gray-faced and blurry-eyed. I wanted both to hug him and to avoid him, as terrible as that is. He stared into the waters as though begging them to suck him inside.

Slowly, I approached him, not sure what to do.

"Hey," I said softly. He jumped and stared at me.

"Hi," he muttered gruffly.

I sat cautiously by his side, not knowing what to say or do. I heard a group of people laughing behind me. It felt offensive and I wanted to lash out or cry again. And again. And again.

"I heard about Sirius," I choked out.

"Did you," Harry whispered coldly. "I suppose you also heard that it's my fault he's dead?"

I jumped at his tone. "No, it's not your fault-."

"Everyone I know will die because of me and Voldemort. I have to kill him." Harry stood and glared at me. "You should never have come here."

"Harry- you're not alone-."

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

I stood and glared back at him, eyes glassy and nose aching. I felt my face boiling.

"I am the Aviata," I hissed, "I _know_ what I'm talking about," my lip curled.

He still didn't back down, his face was still glowing. "Yeah?! Well it's not like people have been DYING to save you for your stupidity!"

"Really?! My PARENTS died because I was onboard! Everyone on that fucking plane died! So don't you even think for one second that I don't understand!" I jabbed my finger at him. I thought for a second that Harry was going to hit me, but Ron was soon there and jumped in front of Harry.

Hermione had come up behind me and grabbed my arm urgently.

"Come on! Let's go now!" Hermione began to drag me away. I had wanted to hurt Harry and I couldn't really justify it, all I knew was that I was so full of emotions that I thought I would explode.

The end of the year feast was nothing I would have done again. The only good part was when Umbridge was chased out of Hogwarts by Peeves and his bag of chalk. It gave everyone a jolly chuckle. Then I was again reminded of the fact that I was the Aviata and life sucked.

Things got better on the train ride home. I was going to stay with the Weasley's, I was told, so that would be okay. There was a bit of a run-in with Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy but that ended well enough. For us. When the train had finally returned to King's Cross Station, everyone was unloading and leaving save for Harry and myself. Ron was dragged physically from the compartment by an irritable Hermione.

Awkward silence was passed between us.

"I'm really sorry," I punctured it. "I was so stupid the other day. Please forgive me."

Harry nodded, grinning sheepishly. "It was a two-sided thing,"

I hugged him and we got off together.

We were greeted immediately by Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, the Twins, Mad-Eye Moody, Tonks and Lupin. The Weasley's took me back to the Black House and there Ginny and I roomed together. Fred and George were constantly in and out of the house, back and forth from business and back again.

"I still can't believe how successful they've been," Ron said in amazement one afternoon as Ginny, he and I sat around a table outside playing exploding snap.

"Well, they've earned it," Ginny shrugged.

"Def," I agreed, placing a card down cautiously. It had taken awhile for people to treat me normally again in Grimmauld place. Tonks was probably the first to treat me as though I weren't some breakable object. She took the proper approach in thinking that I didn't want to think about it anymore. Moody kept teaching me spells to protect myself and while that was helpful, it definitely freaked me out. Voldemort had avoided my dreams over the summer, which I appreciated to no end. I definitely didn't think I could take anymore of him. Then again….

The worst thing was what Dumbledore had said to me the last time I was in the Hospital Wing. If there was anything that could cling to my mind more than those last words that passed between us, it didn't exist in this universe.

"Not that I desire in anyway to add onto your load," Dumbledore had said gently, "but I do think that your role has come into play. When you are ready, and the time is right, it might save us all."

I knew what he meant and I felt kind of sick just thinking about it.

Mrs. Weasley came out with a plate of sandwiches just as Ron's card exploded, sending the deck into a chain reaction and singeing his face.

"Lost again," he sighed. "Thanks Mum,"

"Oh, and Hermione's coming tomorrow, dears," Mrs. Weasley said as she left, leaving the plate on the table.

That meant that Harry was coming soon too.

"Play again?" Ginny said evilly.

"I've lost every time," Ron grumbled, "I'm done with this mess," he pointed to the ashes of cards that were slowly reassembling on the table.

"You're the loser then," I said with an air of finality. "Jolly good show, old boy."

Ron pulled a face. "Don't try imitating our lingo again, you really stink at it."

"Ouch."

Ginny laughed.

_Fzzt! BAM!_

"Ack!" The three of us cried out in unison as three things landed in crackling glory beside us, sending jets of light flying around the yards.

"And we're back!" George said triumphantly.

"With a bit of extra packaging," Fred said, patting someone's shoulder.

Harry was coughing.

Ginny and I convulsed in surprise.

"Harry!" Ron shouted. "You're back!"

"Harry!" Ginny squealed, knocking her chair back in excitement. "You're here early!"

"Yeah," Harry chuckled, "the Dursley's got sick of me rather early on, so Fred and George thought they'd practice using this new Poof Powder stuff."

"It's quite good," Fred nodded, his green dragon-scale jacket glinting in the sunlight. "You should all buy some. Discount for family and friends."

"We don't all have a thousand galleons on hand," Ron sniffed.

I stared at Harry. He looked a lot different than I remembered. His shoulders had gotten broader and he had gotten taller. A tinge of green envy came to my eyes as I saw Ginny looking at him in a new way, but I stood slowly and grinned at him.

"Favian!" Harry beamed eagerly. "Sorry I didn't respond to your letter,"

I grinned at him. "'S okay, letter-writing is overrated anyway."

"Oh Harry!" Mrs. Weasley came bounding outside again. "Oh you're here! You're here! Sixteen now, right? Oh Harry! You've gotten so tall!" She crushed him in a massive hug. His glasses askew, Harry backed away. He looked healthier and happier than he had at the end of term and I felt my heart take a turn.

He had always been attractive but now he was _sexy._

_Oh gods, here we go,_ I thought, turning red at my own thoughts.

_"Whenever you're ready,"_

Harry and Ron were talking animatedly while Ginny shuffled the exploding snap deck. The twins sat down with us as we engaged in another game.

"You know, more members, I have a better shot at winning," Ron said hopefully.

Harry glanced at me and gave me a smile. No, not a smile, a _sexy _smile.

I remembered vaguely in seventh grade (in the States) how all of the boys had cracking, but mainly high-pitched voices and how by eighth grade they had all dropped to basses and how they were suddenly much more appealing. That sort of attraction paled in comparison to what I suddenly felt then. It was almost as though I might drag him away and take advantage of him in the woods.

"Hey Ron," Fred started, laying down a card, "that friend Hermione of yours came by over break," he looked suggestively at his brother.

"Yeah, and she was asking about you," George winked at Fred.

Ron turned immediately red to the roots of his ginger hair. And the deck exploded in his face. Everyone burst into helpless laughter.

In the middle of November, Harry and I walked alone into the Forbidden Forest. School had been very grim and people had been disappearing and dying. There was nothing else for it. Voldemort had to go.

"I think it's time,"

"You sure you're ready?" Harry asked gently.

I nodded. My throat clenched. I had never been so nervous. "Promise me you'll kick Voldemort where it hurts most."

"I promise."


	12. Happily Ever After

(A/N: Thank you to all of my diligent readers! I hope you enjoy this very ending-like ending! I had some alternate endings but this I decided worked the best. Hope you like it!)

Coughing slightly, I wiped the dust off of the old tome's faded green jacket.

_What dialect of Ancient Gaelic is this?_ I marveled inwardly. The letters were strange to me. I'd have to get out the decoder again. Groaning, I dropped the book irritably on the pile next to me. Seven books worth of decoding. Holy cows, sheep and cattle. The third lower level of Avalon's Books was dry and dusty, unlike the fourth and fifth lower levels, which were damp and humid. Pieces of dust and dirt clung to my jeans, shirt, and hair like hungry bugs.

Something behind me made an odd noise. I turned around to look.

Nothing.

Frowning, I turned back to the shelf and kept my ears perked for the scuttling sound.

_Probably another acromantula offspring. Damn, this place is full of them. _I kept my hand poised over my wand and cautiously continued wiping dust off of the same book. _Or a chizpurfle, I'm not sure which would be worse. _

"Hey Fynn,"

I squealed and leapt into the air, throwing the person's hand off of my shoulder. No sooner was I up than my wand was at the man's throat.

"Tynan!" I took my wand down. "You scared the hell out of me,"

"At least it's gone now," he grinned mischievously, black eyes flashing. Tynan had a dark face with dark hair and thick eyebrows. His nose was straight, sharp and strong. He had a very serious face, but he wasn't always so serious.

"Haha." I said sarcastically. "What's up?"

"Well, you have a couple of visitors on main-level," he spoke in his thick Scottish accent.

"Who?"

"If I told you that, where's your jolly surprise?"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, I'll go up in a minute." I crouched down to grab my books.

"Need a hand?" Tynan offered.

I pushed four thick books into his chest. "Righto."

"Four?"

"Seven," I picked up the other three. "I'll be working late tonight, friend."

"I feel sorry for you,"

"Liar,"

"I know."

We walked through the maze of bookshelves and mysterious trap doors. Candle light flickered across the floor but provided weak light in such a large room. There was a transport pad glowing gold up ahead. We stood on the buzzing and crackling plate and Tynan demanded that it take us to main-level. A few seconds later, we were in the large marble library of the main floor. It was by some called the "safe" floor. The higher up you went, the more dangerous the books and the more guards were on duty. No one was allowed downstairs except highly experienced and trained workers, such as Tynan and myself. It was a jungle down there. Sometimes literally. Part of our training had involved becoming Animagi. I had predictably become a dove. Tynan was a spider. He had probably been the one scuttling around on fourth bottom.

"Favian!"

"HERMIONE!" I dropped my books and ran over to greet her. My bushy-haired friend was holding two babies in her arms. "Twins?"

"Not identical, thank goodness," she said, beaming at me.

Ron stood next to her, hunched over a bit awkwardly. "We were worried they'd turn out like Fred and George."

"You mean incredibly good-looking, intelligent and wealthy?" Fred and George were there too! They stepped out from behind a shelf. "Hey Miss Fynn, it has been awhile."

I laughed and clapped my hands together. "Can I hold one?"

Hermione handed me the one dressed in pink, presumably a girl. "That one is Favian."

I looked at the small child and felt tears welling in my eyes. Her eyes were closed firmly shut as I held her against myself. She was beautiful.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Who's the big boy?" I asked, indicating with my head the second child.

"Oh, this is Albus,"

"Good name," I said grinning. Professor Dumbledore had died a decade ago during the final battle. Harry had come a few seconds too late to save him, but Dumbledore had gone down with a smile on his ancient face. His last words had been to express how proud he was of everyone. He would have been pleased to know that his name lived on.

"FAVIAN! You're up here now!" Ginny peeked over the railing of the stairs. She ran downstairs, a small baby in her arms too. There was a tuft of jet black hair on his head.

"Don't jostle that kid too much! He's beautiful; you don't want him getting hurt!" I laughed.

Ginny smiled, flushed and out of breath. "I see you've met Favian and Albus. Say hello to little Sirius."

"Amazing," I breathed. "Everyone's here…. Where's Harry?"

"I'm here," Harry arrived downstairs, a book on Dark magic clutched to his side.

Harry had become Defense teacher at Hogwarts after he hadn't achieved desired scores on all of his NEWTs. Hermione was teaching Arithmancy and Transfiguration at the school. Ron was working for the Ministry in Magical Games and Sports. Ginny was a stay-at-home mom now and Fred and George still had their joke shop.

"It's out-done Zonko's," George told me eagerly. "It's brilliant."

"Never see your smiling face in there," Fred scolded.

"She's a steady worker," Tynan said, punching my shoulder. "Rarely leaves to eat."

I shook my head at him and rocked little Favian gently. "And you never do any work unless it suits you, worthless turd."

"So you must be the famous Harry Potter," Tynan said, striding eagerly forward to grasp his hand, "I was a few years ahead of you in Hogwarts, Ravenclaw."

"Nice to meet you," Harry said nodding deeply.

Tynan moved around, recognizing everyone quickly.

"Fred!" Tynan laughed. "You hit a Bludger at me about a zillion times!"

"I'm George,"

"Don't be stupid, I am," George shoved Fred away.

"Where are you all staying?" I asked eagerly.

"Oh, right in the hotel nearby," Ginny answered.

"How long are you all staying?"

"Well, Harry and I have a lot of research to be getting on with, so probably until mid-August," Hermione chattered. "Avalon is positively _massive_. I'm so excited to be here, so much to learn…."

"And of course, there's you, which adds icing to the cake," Fred winked.

"Of course we won't disturb you while you're working," Hermione said sternly.

"Couldn't if you wanted to," I rolled my eyes. "I work downstairs most of the time. But we'll all have dinner together, right?" I asked eagerly.

"Excellent! We were hoping you'd want to!" George clapped his hands together firmly.

"Wish granted," I winked. "But I will see you all this evening; I have to get started on this poo-load of work." I jabbed my thumb irritably over my shoulder at the pile of books on the floor.

"Right then, let's go look for that spell that old mister Zonko never told us about," Fred and George charged off. Hermione took little Favian back and went upstairs with Ron and Ginny. Harry stayed last.

"I just wanted to say," he said softly, trying to block the ever-curious Tynan out of the conversation, "that I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch."

"Pshaw, don't worry, we've all been busy," I waved a hand.

"You've been a good friend, don't forget it," he pat my shoulder. "See you tonight."

"Later," I agreed.

Tynan helped me bring the heavy books upstairs and we grabbed a bunch of decoder scrolls. Sitting at the large oak table, we took quills and parchment and set to work.

"Something I don't understand," Tynan muttered, "is why you and Harry didn't get married."

I sighed and sat back. Tynan looked up. "Well, we broke up in the middle of seventh year." I explained.

"Why?" He frowned.

"It was too hard dating him anymore. It felt so awkward. Furthermore, our career choices wouldn't have meshed at all."

Every time we kissed during our last weeks together, I was reminded of Voldemort. It was too wrong. I didn't tell this to Tynan because I didn't want to say it to _anyone_. Only Harry and I knew about it. Our relationship after we broke up was really distant for awhile but near the time for NEWTs, we began talking like old times and were good friends again. Hermione and Ron began to date in the middle of sixth year and were like a constant comedy show. It was disastrous but good fun. When Ginny and Harry got married, I won't deny that I was jealous in the beginning. She was so beautiful on her wedding day, I couldn't help thinking "that could have been me."

"Oh, that's crappy,"

"Eh," I shrugged. "We're still friends, it's all good."

Tynan looked down at his book again and frowned. "You still have nightmares sometimes, don't you."

"Yeah, but that's okay," I shrugged.

"Why don't you keep in contact with your friends more?"

"Too busy," I admitted.

"What about your muggle friends?"

I started. "I haven't talked to them since the plane crash."

"Oh, that's right," Tynan shook his head. "Sorry."

"'S okay," I thought about Ming and Julie and wondered how they were doing.

"You chose an odd life to live,"

"Thank you," I said sarcastically.

"No, seriously," Tynan twiddled his quill while looking for a letter in his decoder. "Obviously you have a lot of friends who love you very much, yet you chose a life of seclusion."

"I wouldn't say that."

"Then what do you call locking yourself up in your work?"

"Staying on task, fool,"

"You don't stay in contact with friends," Tynan said darkly, "that's not healthy,"

"You're a friend."

"Yeah, well, I mean life friends. You only just met me a few years ago."

"My 'life friends,'" I trailed off looking for a letter, and then returned to my thought, "all think I'm dead."

"I mean like Potter and Granger… rather Hermione Weasley now, and the Weasley's."

I shrugged. "I've never really been a part of them. Harry, Ron and Hermione were best friends,"

"I know that,"

"…and Ginny and her brothers… I came along and left again."

"They came to visit you. Those are good friends,"

I drew up tall in my seat. "Tynan, I don't know if you've noticed how much we have to do or not, but we really don't have time to get all chatty about my ethics. I'm happy with the life I've chose. You are a good friend. Lars, Petyr, Jurgis, Mark and Janis are good friends. Sylvia is a good friend. I have a life here."

"Yeah, but what about the one you left behind?"

"Which one?" I retorted. "The one I was forced to leave or the one that left me?"

"The Hogwarts group," Tynan responded smoothly. "They were with you through thin times,"

"And I with them, but a lot of it is too painful…." I cut myself short. "Tynan, let's leave this conversation for another time, please."

"Alright, alright," Tynan retreated in defeat to his scrolls.

After dinner that night, I realized how much I had missed the company of my old companions. I certainly loved the new very much but the old ones had something that the new didn't. We had memories, good and bad, and I loved the way they could make me laugh. It made me want to return to the States to find Ming and tell her everything that had happened, but I was afraid to. I couldn't do that. I couldn't confuse her. It would be cruel and selfish. However, I could remain in contact with these friends. Tynan had been right, I shouldn't have underestimated how much old friends can mean to a person.

When the Weasleys and the Potters left, we made a vow to visit at least once a year. I had a withstanding invitation to 12 Grimmauld Place, where Harry and Ginny and little Sirius lived now. The Burrow was always open to me. Hermione even said that I could come as a guest speaker to Hogwarts sometime, or even just for a visit. Tynan reassured me again and again that I could easily get time off. I hadn't missed a day in all my years of working there.

Tynan and I were hanging out one evening on the shore. The mists were creeping up to the grounds. Tynan had asked cautiously for a description of what life had been like at Hogwarts for me. I told him about the Aviata business, about how the school had been really strange after the defeat of Voldemort, how awkward I felt from thereon in, how people sometimes talked about me as though I were some bizarre thing, how they all _knew _what I had done with Harry to help win the war, how I hadn't dated anyone since.

"You need to get laid, Ms. Fynn."

I rolled my eyes.

"If I weren't your best friend, I would give you a mercy lay,"

"Why does that stop you, hm?"

"Because, then you'd be awkward around me too, and I don't want you running away just because we had sex once."

I laughed.

Life, I knew, didn't need to end badly just because it started that way. I would visit my friends and I would live somewhat happily ever after. I would forever miss my parents but maybe I would one day "meet" Ming again. Maybe I would tell her everything.

Tom Marvolo Riddle hadn't destroyed my life, he had simply given me another.


End file.
